K
kisper
Guest
I was diagnosed with non-seminoma type testicular cancer (TC) last Wednesday with an ultrasound confirmed by blood tumor markers; the inguinal orchiectomy will happen tomorrow morning and tumor pathology will be complete within a week.
Undeniably, anytime people are praying to our Lord, it’s a good thing. However, I myself am not praying to be healed. TC has a pretty good survival rate these days; even for stage 3 its not too bad. I’m aware that there is a possibility of infertility or even death in this disease, but I trust in God, distressing as current circumstances may be. Since our Lord let me to be afflicted with this, I’ll be a good patient and seek medical intervention. If God wants to heal me through some certain extent of divine intervention, it will certainly happen. I am ready and willing to go through whatever amount of misery the Lord sees fit, since it is able to have worth by joining it with Christ’s sacrifice.
Because of this, I don’t really wish that my suffering be lessened on account of their prayers, but it would seem kind of silly to ask God to deny their requests. I’m young and single, if it is within the Lord’s will that I may take the burden of a severe case of this cancer from a man who has a family depending on him, or who is not spiritually ready for it to claim his life, then I pray wholeheartedly that God let me bear it.
I know many families struggle with cancer of a loved one. I’m still on my parents health insurance while I’m at school; I just don’t like being the cause of an additional financial or emotional burden for them.
I want offer my suffering in prayer for those in my family who have fallen away from the Church. I know my suffering will affect others around me fiscally and emotionally. I just wish that people were praying for them or for my intentions, rather than for me and my sickness. I find my solace in the Truth. I think asking others not to pray for me would be arrogant (I can’t find the exact word I’m looking for). But would asking others to promise to pray for those who lack faith whenever they choose to pray for me be, at all, out of line?
TL;DR:
People are praying for me, I think their prayers should have a different focus.
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People keep telling me they're praying for me. I graciously thank them, but I can't seem to help my thoughts about this. I appreciate their concern and sympathy, but I don't feel like I need their prayers.Because of this, I don’t really wish that my suffering be lessened on account of their prayers, but it would seem kind of silly to ask God to deny their requests. I’m young and single, if it is within the Lord’s will that I may take the burden of a severe case of this cancer from a man who has a family depending on him, or who is not spiritually ready for it to claim his life, then I pray wholeheartedly that God let me bear it.
Code:
I do feel bad about the effect all this will have on my family. My parents prayed for my return to the Church in my years of wickedness; their prayers were answered :) My mom told me, after I returned from the ER last Wednesday with the news, that she is comforted in all of this by knowing, whatever happens, I am that I am back in the Church and God's embrace. She later told me that her brother, who died from TC when she was 15, had his birthday on the 20th of March, the same date I went to the ER for this. Coincidence? :ehh: I don't think so.I want offer my suffering in prayer for those in my family who have fallen away from the Church. I know my suffering will affect others around me fiscally and emotionally. I just wish that people were praying for them or for my intentions, rather than for me and my sickness. I find my solace in the Truth. I think asking others not to pray for me would be arrogant (I can’t find the exact word I’m looking for). But would asking others to promise to pray for those who lack faith whenever they choose to pray for me be, at all, out of line?
TL;DR:
People are praying for me, I think their prayers should have a different focus.
) by granting me the fortitude to bear more in his name and to do so joyfully.
Apparently, I just needed some prayers, to write all of this out, and to spend some time with our Lord.