People using "bad" language

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Kathrin

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So, I am a member of an internet forum that I have been frequenting and praticipating in the discussion. Not a faith-related forum, more a scientific kind of thing where we discuss a certain topic (don’t want to give details so as not to reveal other people’s fault, but enough to say that it is a morally neutral topic.)

I enjoy participating very much as the topic fascinates me.

Recently, not for the first time, I have noticed again that some members use “bad” language. That is, language below the belt line. Not meaning anything evil, as I get it, more like to be either funny or to underline their emotions (disappointment with something, for example).
Maybe I am more sensitive to it as most of the members are men.

Anyway, not for the first time I asked them couldn’t they leave away such comments. Due to this, an admin deleted the comment and the resulting discussion.

Tonight I read another comment where somebody used a… let’s say mildly obscene (not really very bad, but a little bit) expression.
Now I do not want to comment AGAIN becausew of every little thing, especially since now I am a bit sensitized to noticing such things.

Main question for me is, morally speaking for me now: Is it immoral for me to keep participating in the forum?
What would you do, stay or go?

Things to consider:

FOR (staiying):
  • I am very much interested in and fascinated by the topic, and don’t know if there is another good forum for it for my area. It would be a loss for me personally.
  • difficult anyway to completely avoid all people who use bad language. Even talking to some friends, etc.
  • I may be a good influence on them; they might do it LESS 😉
  • they are not that frequent, maybe not even more frequent than in everyday life ;))
AGAINST:
  • doesn’t it say in the Bible we should not have anything to do with evildoers (forget the passage)… (on the other hand, are they really evildoers in that sense?)
  • it does offend me a bit, I really do NOT like reading such comments (could try just not to pay attention to them of course)
  • it may make a point if I leave for a while, they may start asking why did I leave, and maybe it will change them more
Just wondering what other people, who are less scrupulous than me, think about this. 🙂

Kathrin
 
It comes with the territory when posting online - you will always meet people who disagree with what you post - some are not nice in their disagreement some are - all discussions should be civil unfortunately that is not reality - you can find it right here if you post something on a touchy subject.

You have to pick yourself up and let it go - its hard to do but necessary - just try to remain civil in you reply’s - we all go through this at some point - you are not alone.

I mentioned something about guns in a post hear and wow did I get blasted - not because I was wrong or that they were wrong we just had different opinions on the subject and some people have strong emotion reactions when people go against their opinion
 
I am not talking about disagreeing, I am talking of some members using langugae below the beltline to describe their feelings… as people unfortunately often do.
Suddenly got it into my head that it might be sinful for me to keep participating if I am going to “see” such expression there.
 
Kathrin said:
So, I am a member of an internet forum that I have been frequenting and praticipating in the discussion. Not a faith-related forum, more a scientific kind of thing where we discuss a certain topic (don’t want to give details so as not to reveal other people’s fault, but enough to say that it is a morally neutral topic.)

I enjoy participating very much as the topic fascinates me.

Recently, not for the first time, I have noticed again that some members use “bad” language. That is, language below the belt line. Not meaning anything evil, as I get it, more like to be either funny or to underline their emotions (disappointment with something, for example).
Maybe I am more sensitive to it as most of the members are men.

Anyway, not for the first time I asked them couldn’t they leave away such comments. Due to this, an admin deleted the comment and the resulting discussion.

Tonight I read another comment where somebody used a… let’s say mildly obscene (not really very bad, but a little bit) expression.
Now I do not want to comment AGAIN becausew of every little thing, especially since now I am a bit sensitized to noticing such things.

Main question for me is, morally speaking for me now: Is it immoral for me to keep participating in the forum?
What would you do, stay or go?

Things to consider:

FOR (staiying):
  • I am very much interested in and fascinated by the topic, and don’t know if there is another good forum for it for my area. It would be a loss for me personally.
  • difficult anyway to completely avoid all people who use bad language. Even talking to some friends, etc.
  • I may be a good influence on them; they might do it LESS 😉
  • they are not that frequent, maybe not even more frequent than in everyday life ;))
AGAINST:
  • doesn’t it say in the Bible we should not have anything to do with evildoers (forget the passage)… (on the other hand, are they really evildoers in that sense?)
  • it does offend me a bit, I really do NOT like reading such comments (could try just not to pay attention to them of course)
  • it may make a point if I leave for a while, they may start asking why did I leave, and maybe it will change them more
Just wondering what other people, who are less scrupulous than me, think about this. 🙂

Kathrin
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Kathrin,

Being scrupulous is not a bad thing. It is one thing to tolerate the behavior of others to a point, but I’ve read the rules on a lot of forums and “obscene” and “vulgar” are not uncommon limits on what people can say. Yes, being one good example by not using bad language is a good thing - online and in real life. We are to grow in holiness and not act like others when they do or talk about vulgar things and use bad language.

The Bible tells us to guard our tongues. biblehub.com/colossians/3-8.htm

Ed
 
Sorry my post does not apply to what your asking - I miss-understood - I am sure lots of good people here who know more on this subject will advise you.

God bless you and I hope you have a great day.
 
As long as you’re not the one using coarse language I don’t really see what the problem is. And is using coarse language even sinful? I think it’s more like having bad manners.
 
edwest2 said:
Kathrin,

Being scrupulous is not a bad thing. It is one thing to tolerate the behavior of others to a point, but I’ve read the rules on a lot of forums and “obscene” and “vulgar” are not uncommon limits on what people can say. Yes, being one good example by not using bad language is a good thing - online and in real life. We are to grow in holiness and not act like others when they do or talk about vulgar things and use bad language.

The Bible tells us to guard our tongues. biblehub.com/colossians/3-8.htm

Ed
Click to expand...
I did refer to the rules on the forum yesterday when mentioned it. Because the rules do forbid any kind of inappropriate language.
When I checked again the inappropriate post (as well as my comments and the short discussion arising from it) were deleted.
Unfortunately that does not mean that people will not use such language again. I know people who just do it out of a habit, or because they think it makes them cool and funny… It may be a bit too scrupulous of me to think it is sinful for me to keep reading the forum… but I am not sure. 😉
Like, just before, there was another just mildly inappropriate comment… hmmm… but now, I cannot say something evry time somebody says something just mildly inappropriate, that would probably not have the effect I want anymore.

edit: Not trying to put those people down or aything. Not even saying they are bad people.
 
tomarin said:
As long as you’re not the one using coarse language I don’t really see what the problem is. And is using coarse language even sinful? I think it’s more like having bad manners.
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Yeah, it’s only sinful if you’re using it to tear someone down or blaspheme. But just using coarse language itself isn’t wrong. It’s rude, but that’s about it.
 
You don’t have to mention religion at all; you can just say, “Hey, guys, there’s a lady in the room - please watch your language.”
 
tomarin said:
As long as you’re not the one using coarse language I don’t really see what the problem is. And is using coarse language even sinful? I think it’s more like having bad manners.
Click to expand...
I used to be quite the prude and equated coarse language with swearing. So I got offended a lot. :o

Over time, I learned the difference between the two and now simply don’t react when others use words that I still don’t think of as lady-like. And on rare occasions, I even employ a certain word or two! 😉
 
I think using any kind of rude language is a sin. It’s an assault against the listener/reader. It violates the Golden Rule.

I ride the bus and train often, and our transit system, like others, has a rule against profanity and arguing on the bus. Some operators will enforce it themselves, and I really like it when an operator speaks up and shuts down a profane conversation as it begins. However, not always. There was once a guy on the bus who began to complain loudly and rudely about a particularly smelly homeless person who had just disembarked. He was trying to get others to agree with him, and I turned around and informed him that I found it even more offensive when people used profanity. Well, he laid into me something awful. He definitely wanted to start a fight right then and there. I tried ignoring him and then argued with him and finally demanded to be let off the bus immediately. I have been somewhat intimidated from bringing up the subject of language again, because of that experience. It is unfair, because I shouldn’t hesitate to stand up for myself when (1) I’m offended and (2) there’s a clear rule against it. I usually just pray and try to rationalize that it will be over soon. Many of my bus rides are rather short and so I just look forward to my stop.

However, there are some times when some good can come from standing up for yourself or others. Once there was a young lady reading a book. A young gangsta tried to engage her in conversation. She made it clear she wasn’t going to talk to him, and he became aggressive and rude. I stepped in and told him to leave her alone. He looked at me and said I looked pretty gay. So I informed the operator what was going on and the gangsta immediately became submissive to the operator and slinked away. The young lady turned as she was disembarking and said “THANK YOU so much!” I was rather pleased with myself after that.

So it’s true that you can get some flak for standing up for what’s right, but sometimes it pays off. And remember what the Beatitudes tell us about persecution. Sometimes we will suffer for the sake of the Kingdom. You will be in my prayers.
 
Foul language and rude people are almost unavoidable on the internet sadly. Very few websites I have visited have friendly, kind users. As a matter of fact, the only three places I have ever seen only kindness and friendliness is at these three places.

catholic.com
thefedoralounge.com
melodeon.net

Of all the places on the internet I have visited, this list is far to short. :eek: I wish there was a way to make all of the internet friendly.
 
Not only the internet. 😉
Happens in real life just as much probably.
 
Maybe I had a positive effect?
of course it may be coincidentially, but… just today a new member used a “bad” word and immediately got asked to not swear, referred to the rules, etc 😉 🙂 🙂
 
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