People who don't receive communion during mass

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pure_angel

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Just wondering, why do some people not want to receive communion during mass?
I’ve been told that it’s because they can talk to God on their own time (in reference in doing this instead of going to confession). But, I thought the priest was one of the closest people to God.

I’m just concerned about my dad. He participates in everything else during mass but communion (which I’m glad about). For Christmas I am planning on buying him The Meal That Heals: Enjoying Intimate, Daily Communion with God by Perry Stone to send him a message to go to confession and receive communion (that there is a reason why he should go to confession). And the next thing I should do is pray for him to go to confession and receive communion too.

Thanks!
 
You have a wonderful intention. God bless you for that.

May I gently say:
Please aim to give your Dad something else also.
The book will make him feel preached at and could hurt rather than give him pleasure.
It’s his business why he doesn’t go to Communion, and prayer for him is important of course.

That he goes to Mass is a great blessing,
and implied criticism in the form of the book could hurt your Dad.

Please also give your Dad at something that isn’t preaching but says you love him for who he is not what you think he should be.

It would be better to give him the book at another time so it isn’t a ‘loaded’ gift,
but your finances may be limited of course.
The book implies a criticism, and tells him what you think what you father should think and *should *do rather than to say, I love you Dad.

Kind regards,
Francie
 
I agree with Francie

maybe you could point out the Catholics are required to receive the Eucharist at least twice a year and that you plan on going to confess on so and so time and if he would like to join you…

don’t be too abrasive or it could make it awkard
 
pure_angel said:
Just wondering, why do some people not want to receive communion during mass?
I’ve been told that it’s because they can talk to God on their own time (in reference in doing this instead of going to confession). But, I thought the priest was one of the closest people to God.

I’m just concerned about my dad. He participates in everything else during mass but communion (which I’m glad about). For Christmas I am planning on buying him The Meal That Heals: Enjoying Intimate, Daily Communion with God by Perry Stone to send him a message to go to confession and receive communion (that there is a reason why he should go to confession). And the next thing I should do is pray for him to go to confession and receive communion too.

Thanks!
Click to expand...
Old times. You went to confession and 60 minutes later you were in mortal sin. I was educated like that. Everything was a sin, even looking to a beautiful woman. The natural state of a person was to be in mortal sin. Even I remember a mother saying to her daughter for she complained about something: “You do not obey me: you are in mortal sin you maynot go to communion!”. Nice strategy: if you do not obey me, you go to hell !!!
 
But you have to remember too that if one is in the state of mortal sin, they are not to be receiving the Eucharist. In general, those who are no longer in communion with Rome, whether they were excommunicated, or came to reject Church teaching, are also not to receive communion because they do not share the beliefs of the Church. So, they may be doing the right thing by not taking it. Remember, if one eats or drinks of the body and blood of Christ unworthily, they eat and drink judgement upon themselves.
 
There are a few reasons one may choose not to receive.

It’s ok to do a Spiritual Communion instead of receive, even if you are not in a state of mortal sin.
 
You don’t need to receive Communion when you go to Mass, in fact you’re only required, at minimum, to receive once during the entire year and that’s during the Easter Season. We don’t go to Mass in order to receive Communion, but to be present at the eternal representation of Our Lord’s Sacrifice on Calvary and to receive the Graces that flow from it.

So it’s fine if your Father doesn’t receive, even if he has gone to Confession and is in a state of grace. Many people don’t and opt to make a spiritual Communion instead. What matters is that when he does receive, that he’s in a state of grace.

Just ask him and see if he has been going to Confession.
 
If it were my dad, I don’t keep close enough tabs on him to know if he went somewhere one day and I missed it. Perhaps he went to communion one day last year at a daily mass and you didn’t notice, because it was at a different parish, etc. Unless someone told me that they were not meeting Easter Duty, I’d assume they were.

Is your father struggling with a particular doctrine or belief? If he believes he lacks the right belief, that could cause someone to avoid both sacraments out of respect.

It also depends on your relationship with your dad. Will he feel you are neglecting him if you don’t inquire curiously about why you never observe him going to communion?
 
Hi, pure_angel! It’s heartening to see the love and concern you have for your Dad, and your desire to prod him into receiving Communion.

That said, I agree with many of the posters. Were it I, I believe that instead of giving it as a gift, I’d get the book and curl up in the rooms where Dad hangs out and read the book myself. I wouldn’t read it all in one whack, like I usually do, but would stretch it out for a frew days, and frequently leave it where it would be easy for anyone in the family to pick up and peruse, and might even mention it to the family, but not pointedly at Dad, and certainly not in an accusatory fashion.-----And I’d choose a different Christmas gift.

Your dad has a close connection–or a feeling that he should have one–with Jesus, or you wouldn’t see him attending Mass regularly. One of the beauties of the Catholic faith is that we DO talk to God, to Jesus, to The Holy Spirit, and we don’t have to say anything about our sins to the entire congregation, as is done in some non-Catholic churches. We acknowledge our sins to God through our priests in the very private Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation.

Your father’s reason for not receiving Holy Communion is HIS–very personal and very private–and shouldn’t be up for conjecture by anyone outside or within the family. I can commiserate with you, wanting your father to partake in the Holy Eucharist, but I think you’d be out of line to just outright ask him why he doesn’t go to confession. His conscience is his guideline, and it’s telling him–for whatever reason–NOT to receive communion. To skewer him by putting him on the spot would infringe upon his religious right to privacy. I can imagine, though, that in an easy-going family discussion of confession and communion, especially if he has introduced the subject, you might bring it up without infringing upon that right. You’ll know that situation if it occurs: it will feel right, not awkward, nor out of place.

I agree that it could be that he has a strict idea of how clean his soul should be in order to receive communion, but that is certainly not wrong. I’m guessing, since your father is faithful in Mass attendance, that he DOES want to receive the Eucharist, but that he has a matter of conscience that he’s not yet resolved, and THAT is why he doesn’t partake in communion. Pray for him several times a day, a simple prayer: “Dear Jesus, please let Daddy receive communion again.” Best wishes and a prayer for you, your dad, and your entire family, pure_angel!
 
pure_angel said:
Just wondering, why do some people not want to receive communion during mass?
I’ve been told that it’s because they can talk to God on their own time (in reference in doing this instead of going to confession). But, I thought the priest was one of the closest people to God.

I’m just concerned about my dad. He participates in everything else during mass but communion (which I’m glad about). For Christmas** I am planning on buying him The Meal That Heals: Enjoying Intimate, Daily Communion with God by Perry Stone **to send him a message to go to confession and receive communion (that there is a reason why he should go to confession). And the next thing I should do is pray for him to go to confession and receive communion too.

Thanks!
Click to expand...
Perry Stone?? Seriously? And you believe–because you’ve been told–that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is optional? Told by whom??

Please see a Catholic priest, post haste. If in fact you are Catholic. And better yet, if you are not. I mean, seriously! How could a Catholic make so many errors in one post?
 
pure_angel said:
Just wondering, why do some people not want to receive communion during mass?
I’ve been told that it’s because they can talk to God on their own time (in reference in doing this instead of going to confession). But, I thought the priest was one of the closest people to God.

I’m just concerned about my dad. He participates in everything else during mass but communion (which I’m glad about). For Christmas I am planning on buying him The Meal That Heals: Enjoying Intimate, Daily Communion with God by Perry Stone to send him a message to go to confession and receive communion (that there is a reason why he should go to confession). And the next thing I should do is pray for him to go to confession and receive communion too.

Thanks!
Click to expand...
He might be struggling with scrupulosity. DON’T demand an explanation. Because he doesnt owe you one…yes you might be concerned. I struggle with the same thing…friends and relatives often demand a reason why and gossip behind my back.
 
My friend, I would not buy that book for your father. It has the protestant understanding of Holy Communion, which is incorrect.

“Eucharist: Presence of Christ, F.X. Durrwell”
and
“The Risen Christ and the Eucharistic World, Gustave Martelet” are two excellent books about the Eucharist.

St Augustine wrote profoundly about the Eucharist, and you should look to him too.
 
There are a lot of reasons why someone won’t go to communion.
Maybe they aren’t Catholic.
Maybe they have been eating and it is within the Communion Fast.
Maybe he has some secret other reason that he can’t.
maybe he considers himself to be Catholic but he was never able to make the sacraments of initiation.
Maybe there is another reason I can’t think of, but it sounds like it would be a good idea to pray for him.
:signofcross::signofcross::signofcross:
 
1st Corinthians 11: 27-29
*Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly.
*

I am happy your Dad takes part in almost all church activities. Attending Holy Communion is a matter of the heart and belief; so that should not be of much worry.

However, I think, depending on your closeness to your Dad - if possible - be engaging in faith dialogues with him. There will then be a time where you will come to a realization of his knowledge and perceptions on the said topic. Then you can be able to properly handle the situation for there is an adage in Africa that says, “If you patiently and carefully dissect the ant, that is when you will be able to locate its heart”.

That notwithstanding, Keep on praying for your Dad. I Will help with that too.

Stay bless!!!
 
Phaedra777 said:
Perry Stone?? Seriously? And you believe–because you’ve been told–that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is optional? Told by whom??

Please see a Catholic priest, post haste. If in fact you are Catholic. And better yet, if you are not. I mean, seriously! How could a Catholic make so many errors in one post?
Click to expand...
Phaedra, I believe you misunderstood the OP. He did not say that he believes confession is optional. In fact, if you read the last part of the post, he prays that his father will go to confession, and lists a prime reason why he should. I believe what got you so indignant was your misreading of the statement that others have told him their reasons for not going to confession is because THEY don’t believe they have to.
Angel, if I am wrong about this, please clarify.
 
Why offer a book by Perry Stone who is not Catholic and thus does not attend Mass ?
 
Sometimes people do not go to communion because they are in a state of mortal sin and have not been to confession. Whatever the reason it is probably not something that would be resolved by a book. If there is a chance that your father would discuss his reasons with you I would try that before offering a book.
 
There’s also another very simple explanation of why some people don’t receive. I have celiac disease and cannot have wheat in any form. If the Blood of Christ is not offered to the laity at Mass (as in some daily Masses) or it runs out before I can receive, I cannot receive communion. This is my cross to bear and it’s difficult, believe me.
 
returninglamb said:
There’s also another very simple explanation of why some people don’t receive. I have celiac disease and cannot have wheat in any form. If the Blood of Christ is not offered at Mass, I cannot receive communion. This is my cross to bear and it’s difficult, believe me.
Click to expand...
I am so sorry to learn this, I did not know that this might be a problem for some. Thanks for posting.
 
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