Perfect Contrition HELP

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Latinitas

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Hello, this is my first post on Catholic Answers,

I need help making an act of contrition. I don’t need help saying the actual act of contrition (O my God, I am heartily sorry…), but I need help in actually being contrite for my sins. I need help loving God, and I feel ‘stuck’, because I do not know what to do. How do I love God more? I have committed a mortal sin a number of times now and to use the best words possible, I really want to be sorry, and perfectly contrite. I know and believe that God loves me, but I don’t ‘feel’ it, in a sense (I only use feel for lack of a better word, as our feelings easily deceive us), and I personally feel that I have becoming numb to His love. How can I ‘personalize’ God’s love for me? I have come to fear hell very much, and am ‘sick’ with scrupulosity (I hope that’s how you spell it).

I need your prayers and your help.
 
Pray. Pray from the heart. Be sincere.

Contemplate Jesus in the passion, suffering for our sins. How extremely torturous that was for him. That was done out of love. God is love. God is mercy.

Ask in your prayers for guidance and knowledge and the closeness of God.

I am sure that given time you will experience what you are looking for. You need perseverance and deep faith.

Go to confession, rid yourself of that heavy load of sin on your soul and then thank Our Dear Lord for his mercy and love for you.

Remember that satan will do everything to put you off of your faith! Pray to St Michael the Archangel for protection.

God bless you
 
I know that it’s sometimes hard to “feel” God’s love. Even I don’t always feel it. 😊 But faith is more than feelings. A whole lot more. You just cannot manufacture love and faith. These come from God. Pray for his help here. Take some time to contemplate the condition of your heart.

One time, on a retreat (which I highly recommend), I looked at my heart and found it as solid as a rock. There was one small crack in it, so I asked God to slip in through that crack and break the stone away from my heart. It helped a whole lot. If you can find a place like the one I went to, it would be a great help. Some time with the nuns, and some time of solitude. It helped me get back on track. I’ll be praying for you.
 
ajecphotos said:
Pray. Pray from the heart. Be sincere.

Contemplate Jesus in the passion, suffering for our sins. How extremely torturous that was for him. That was done out of love. God is love. God is mercy.

Ask in your prayers for guidance and knowledge and the closeness of God.

I am sure that given time you will experience what you are looking for. You need perseverance and deep faith.

Go to confession, rid yourself of that heavy load of sin on your soul and then thank Our Dear Lord for his mercy and love for you.

Remember that satan will do everything to put you off of your faith! Pray to St Michael the Archangel for protection.

God bless you
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Thank you for the advice. I have tried to contemplate the Passion, but considering that it was only last year that I converted to Catholicism, and that I’m 17, and the rest of my family is Protestant, where they constantly talk about the crucifixion, I seem to have gone slightly numb on this (ora pro me). I try to think of being the best husband I possibly could and how much I would love and what I would do for my wife, but since I’m male, and God has revealed Himself as masculine makes this slightly harder for me to comprehend. Thank you so much for his advice. I want to go to confession badly, but my parish has only one priest hearing confessions on Saturdays for an hour, and my parents, not being Catholic, don’t really want to take me to other places besides this parish. Anyway, thank you very much, and I ask you to keep me in your prayers.
 
Don’t worry about the masculine side of it.

God is God. To be loved and adored by man and woman. Love for God is a special love that goes very deep. It is not superficial love like between a man and a woman. It is ‘Soul Deep’. It is eternal, everlasting and pure.

Tell Our Lord how much you love him. How much your heart beats for him. Explain how you want the relationship to be. How much you need him in your life.

I pray for the same things. I deeply love God. Has he answere me? I hope so. I have never felt as much love for God as I do now. I am sure that that is God working in me.

A lovely prayer to say is the Divine Mercy Chaplet. See my sig.

This is a prayer that Jesus told St Faustina to say.

You are so young and blessed to have found god at that age. Don’t lose him!

God bless you.
 
ajecphotos said:
Don’t worry about the masculine side of it.

God is God. To be loved and adored by man and woman. Love for God is a special love that goes very deep. It is not superficial love like between a man and a woman. It is ‘Soul Deep’. It is eternal, everlasting and pure.

Tell Our Lord how much you love him. How much your heart beats for him. Explain how you want the relationship to be. How much you need him in your life.

I pray for the same things. I deeply love God. Has he answere me? I hope so. I have never felt as much love for God as I do now. I am sure that that is God working in me.

A lovely prayer to say is the Divine Mercy Chaplet. See my sig.

This is a prayer that Jesus told St Faustina to say.

You are so young and blessed to have found god at that age. Don’t lose him!

God bless you.
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Thank you very much for your help, Dominus conservet tuum, et vivificet tuum.

I still, however, deeply fear dying in a state of mortal sin, which, as I understand is not bad, but I worry that I cannot say, I’m going to heaven when I die (correct me if I’m wrong, but the Tridentine fathers anathematized those who said they were infallibly sure of their salvation). This may be more appropriate for another thread (and if so, the moderators are free to move it). I still worry about Hell, and I need your prayers for this, as well.
 
You have made an act of contrition. You are deeply sorry for the sins. Make sure you keep saying that and go to confession as soon as possible. Don’t worry. God knows your anguish and loves you and is full of mercy.

God bless
 
As far as not feeling sufficiently contrite, I’ve gone to confession and started by confessing that I’m not really sure I’m sufficiently sorry, and the priest said it’s OK to go through the process anyway.

Instead of thinking about Jesus, why not go for personal encounter?

One great way to do that is through “contemplative prayer” which the CCC indicates in 2708 should be part of prayer life, as it reaches true union with Jesus.

Never heard of contemplative prayer? Don’t be surprised; many Catholics haven’t. Strange situation IMO since the “Expressions of Prayer” in the Catechism CCC 2700-2724 says more about contemplative prayer, than about vocal prayer and meditative prayer combined.

See if this sounds appealing to you, CCC 2709:
What is contemplative prayer? St. Teresa answers: “Contemplative prayer [oracion mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.” Contemplative prayer seeks him “whom my soul loves.” It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him, because to desire him is always the beginning of love, and we seek him in that pure faith which causes us to be born of him and to live in him. In this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself.

One “green flag” to look for would be a Lectio Divina (“Divine Reading”) prayer group, which has segments of silent contemplation.

It’s like with vocal prayer you’re talking to him. With fellowship you’re talking about him. With meditation you’re thinking about Him. With contemplative prayer, you don’t speak or think about Him; you simply relax, open your mind and heart to allow the Holy Spirit to enter and heal and renew you, as you seek Divine Union with Him.

CCC 2724
Contemplative prayer is the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love. It achieves real union with the prayer of Christ to the extent that it makes us share in his mystery.

Alan
 
I am not someone that easily “feels” love from God or anyone (I have Aspergers Syndrome). But, when I commit a mortal sin, it is not fear of hell that sends me to find a priest for confession the next day. It is that I cannot stand the idea of being separated from God. I will most likely live until Saturday night confession but, I can’t go a full 24 hours without being absolved (if I commit a mortal sin).

I am not saying that I have perfect contrition because I think it is to difficult to know with certainty. But remember, love is not a feeling it is an act of your will. Jesus did not die for us because of a feeling. Love is a verb. We can choose to love and choose to not love. 🙂
 
St. Claude de la Colombiere

Lord, I am in this world to show Your mercy to others.
Other people will glorify You
by making visible the power of Your grace
by their fidelity and constancy to You.
For my part I will glorify You
by making known how good You are to sinners,
that Your mercy is boundless
and that no sinner no matter how great his offences
should have reason to despair of pardon.
If I have grievously offended You, My Redeemer,
let me not offend You even more
by thinking that You are not kind enough to pardon Me.

Amen.

Peace
 
Zekariya said:
I am not someone that easily “feels” love from God or anyone (I have Aspergers Syndrome). But, when I commit a mortal sin, it is not fear of hell that sends me to find a priest for confession the next day. It is that I cannot stand the idea of being separated from God. I will most likely live until Saturday night confession but, I can’t go a full 24 hours without being absolved (if I commit a mortal sin).

I am not saying that I have perfect contrition because I think it is to difficult to know with certainty. But remember, love is not a feeling it is an act of your will. Jesus did not die for us because of a feeling. Love is a verb. We can choose to love and choose to not love. 🙂
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Thank you, Zekariya. I would love to go to confession daily, as I would feel safer from Hell and it would give me confidence and increase my love for God. Unfortunately, still being a minor, and in an otherwise all Protestant family, I cannot. This is why I try to make an act of perfect contrition, to truly love God completely above all else. I understand that love is not a feeling, but it helps to “feel” it. I can with much certainty say an act was of one of perfect contrition, and I can tell by simple self-examination. But I understand your point of no absolute certainty.

God Bless,
Latinitas
 
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