Permission for divorce

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OP, you can DNA test your kids at any time. I know and can tell this is shocking to you. I urge you to move forward with compassion and caring no matter what you decide.
 
I wouldn’t judge the OP’s wife too harshly for not disclosing the rape before marriage. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for her. And she’s been carrying it since she was 13. I don’t condone her cheating but I don’t think she should be criticised for not telling him about it sooner.
 
One can separate because of infidelity as the Gospel says, but one cannot divorce because of infidelity according to the Council of Trent. Seeing a Catholic counselor is a good first step.
 
All the stuff you say about rape is good but spouses need to be open and 100% honest with each other, even about the hardest things. It effects their whole family. I am not taking what I said back. The OP should be compassionate but it should be said, “why didnt you tell me, I love you and want to support you in all things.” Seems like you are putting labels on men, I would never think of a woman being damaged goods for being raped.
 
LumineDiei said:
Not to mention that seemingly “good Catholic men” have viewed a rape victim as “damaged goods” for being a potential spouse. I’ve read that on this forum from several members in the past…they themselves being the “good Catholic man” who state they would never marry someone who had been a victim of a sexual crime.
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I would consider avoiding those men a plus of telling.
 
Cmc1 said:
is this enough for permission from bishop to split
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I haven’t read the other responses. But no, barring other extenuating circumstances, my guess is that you will most likely not get permission for a divorce.

I have some audacious questions: How is your marriage otherwise? Do you love her? Cherish her? Do you get along? Is another woman or other desire turning your head?

Be honest with yourself. Did you want the divorce, anyway, so you’re reaching to find an excuse?
 
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