Aussie Ann,
Welcome to the forums!
I just wanted to let you know that I can entirely commiserate with you, having recently been in nearly the exact same situation myself.
Our priest is relatively young (I would guess in his 40s), and I am 26, married, mother of two, and somewhat attractive (minus the baby pounds, that is). We joined our parish less than a year ago and even had Father come over to bless our new home. He was so cheerful and friendly and outgoing at first. My husband and I were so relieved to have, finally, a very orthodox priest, and a younger one who cares about being a part of the lives of his parishoners.
It took very little time for me to connect with what we call the “core group” in our parish – those who serve, attend daily Mass, and participate in Adoration and other regular activities. I was (and still am) so thrilled to be a part of something God is doing at this parish. And I had high hopes of our family, myself included, developing a relationship with our wonderful priest.
So you can imagine my dismay when last September I called to invite him to dinner at our house (with the whole family, of course), and he didn’t return my call. Ever. A month later we saw him at our Family Life Apostolate gathering, and he apologized for not getting back to me, explaining that he had been incredibly busy visiting the sick and the elderly, and with other needs at the church. I find this entirely plausible, given there is one priest here to serve 2,500 families! But I was confused, since he had only recently said he would be glad to come, if only we’d call the office to schedule. Nevertheless, I made up my mind to assume the very best, and I waited for other opportunities to get to know him better, during regular events at the church.
But events came and went, and Father seemed to be avoiding us, never saying more than a single-word hello when we greeted him. Never “how is your daughter?” (who is severely disabled). Never “how are you?” Never even much of a response to inquiry as to how he was doing. Once I went to greet him after Mass so that he could give our daughter a special blessing, and he looked up, saw us standing there, and turned around to interrupt some other folks who were talking and say hello to them! I was dumbfounded, literally. Why in the world would a priest behave so oddly?
After weeks, and then months of this behavior, I came to realize that during the times we were together – particularly in the confesssional – there was indeed something I could only describe as tension between us. Not once did either of us act or speak inappropriately. ** If anything, we acted downright Victorian in our politeness! Something was off. We were both too stilted, too uncomfortable**. It was then that I knew of a certainty that, for whatever strange reason, what had once begun with a strong conversational bond and likemindedness had developed into something other. It was as though a silent communication passed, something too dangerous to risk putting into words, that we were fond of one another. This seems on the one hand like an oddity, because our priest is about five foot even, twenty years older, and a bit pudgy himself! But on the other, it was only natural, given our passion for the current issues facing our Church and the battle we are fighting against modern heresies and cultural evils.
Upon this realization, though it was, and still is, very difficult for me to do, I began to back off from communicating with our priest, whom I hold in the highest esteem. If I am correct about his end of this problem (I know that I am about mine), then it would be a mistake to place myself, and thereby place him, into harm’s way. I don’t like it. It isn’t fun, and it’s certainly not what I hoped for, but I can see no other option. Perhaps over the months and years the tension between us will ease, and we will be able to relate as good friends, but I am prepared to sacrifice that permanently if that is what is necessary.
You and I both know how rare an orthodox priest is these days. One who follows our Holy Father with abandon. One who loves Christ and the Blessed Mother enough to die for them. I believe our priest is just such a man. Because of this, I believe there are few men on earth Satan would like more to destroy, and he will use any means possible. If I think there is a hint, a possibility of a chance that I could be used as a weapon of undoing the holiness of our priest, however much it pains me, I will remove myself from him to protect him.
