Perplexing question regarding sexual arrousal

[The_Otaku]

Hi.

It crossed my mind to think about it, since I’ve found myself in this situation before. How should you confess to your priest that you experienced sexual arousal by/with yourself when it had nothing to do with lust for an object, person, it wasn’t a fantasy, and there was no masturbation, pornography or anything outside of yourself? What if you just thought about how it feels to have an erection and it causes one, or you had one via natural course (ie- just woke up, took a shower, the genitals moved around in your pants in such a way that it caused it, etc) and enjoyed it? How do you explain this to the priest without making it sound like you’re making excuses rather than just trying to understand exactly what you did and didn’t do?

It would be one thing if you envisioned a beautiful woman, or if you had a fetish and imagined the object of your fetish and lusted after these things, but what about when you’re not thinking of any of those things and your mind is blank? Can you honestly confess it as an “impure thought” when there really was no thought? To my understanding, an impure thought would require there to be some sort of subject matter and…well…thought (ie- mental images, flashes, memories, etc). I call this perplexing because of the ability to gain an erection without thinking and without images. It’s as if I can just “will” it to happen and it does through some sort of subconscious prompt. When I’ve done this, it’s been when I’ve been absent minded, tired, withdrawn, etc. I feel guilty enough to mention it in my next confession, but how should I address it?

I’ve even sometimes willed an erection just for the biological curiosity- to watch it happen, understand why it’s happening, feeling it happening (when what chemical is being released, when blood accumulates), etc, but NOT doing anything during or after- just letting nature run it’s course in giving me the erection and then taking it away with me as an observer. These particular instances only happened a few times in the past and I had confessed them as masturbation to be safe, even if it wasn’t (and if it was masturbation, I was ignorant at the time and didn’t know any better so I’m reasoning my culpability was lessened).

So, any ideas for how you go about confessing these things or is it just better to be less specific and just generalize your sins for the benefit of the priest? How would you generalize this? My worry with generalizing, however, is that some where down the line I’ll confess a sin or start confessing sins that either A- are not sins, or B- are misclassified sins and I wouldn’t want this to become a bad habit.

Also note that I tend towards scrupulosity, so I’m intentionally looking for fault here…

 

[Alpha_One]

Getting sexually aroused is a perfectly normal biological response and is, in and of itself, not a sin. Just like, say, sweating or getting an itch.

What makes it a sin is when you’re looking for stimulation to get or maintain an aroused state, say through imagination, sensory stimuli (pictures, sounds, etc.), touching yourself, etc. I’m sure that many people get aroused at least once a day inadvertently and without having to entertain impure temptations.

With regards to “thinking” about getting an erection, I would think that it’s not a sin per se but can be an occasion of sin especially for those who have sex related addictions or compulsions.

In your case, if you thought of getting aroused, did get aroused and just let it pass without doing anything, it’s not masturbation and is not sinful. However it would be prudent to avoid such occasions because they may lead to sinful acts.

If in doubt, consult with your confessor or spiritual director. If you don’t have one I highly suggest you find a trustworthy person who can be your spiritual director who may keep your scrupulosity in check. In any case I’d recommend anybody a spiritual director anyway, scrupules or no scrupules.

 

[The_Otaku]

Getting sexually aroused is a perfectly normal biological response and is, in and of itself, not a sin. Just like, say, sweating or getting an itch.

What makes it a sin is when you’re looking for stimulation to get or maintain an aroused state, say through imagination, sensory stimuli (pictures, sounds, etc.), touching yourself, etc. I’m sure that many people get aroused at least once a day inadvertently and without having to entertain impure temptations.

With regards to “thinking” about getting an erection, I would think that it’s not a sin per se but can be an occasion of sin especially for those who have sex related addictions or compulsions.

In your case, if you thought of getting aroused, did get aroused and just let it pass without doing anything, it’s not masturbation and is not sinful. However it would be prudent to avoid such occasions because they may lead to sinful acts.

If in doubt, consult with your confessor or spiritual director. If you don’t have one I highly suggest you find a trustworthy person who can be your spiritual director who may keep your scrupulosity in check. In any case I’d recommend anybody a spiritual director anyway, scrupules or no scrupules.

Thank you for the quick response. I was hoping to have at least one before I go to bed.

Thank you for being specific with me and breaking it down also. It helps me to digest what you’re saying easier.

Based on what you’re saying, and in retrospect of what I did, I honestly just had the erection for the sake of having it and mentally stopped it before I achieved the full state of arrousal (by that time I was questioning whether what I was doing was a mortal sin, presumed it was, and stopped it cold). I didn’t plan or design or wish or intend anything else to happen other than the erection. To be honest, I know this happened because I’ve been having alot of stress in my life lately and find myself more distracted and introverted. I know the stress will pass so this shouldn’t be a problem.

I’m well aware of the difference between this and masturbation and lust, which is why I felt the need to single it out for a topic. I feel alot better now. Thank you for your help and God bless you and yours.

 

[George14]

I consider sexual arousal a perfectly natural human function, as said above, that in my own case has me “praising God” for the wonderful gift that sex is, but without indulging any pleasure deliberately because OF the arousal. IOW, it is good, but not to be exploited for its own sake. To experience arousal is, then, a reminder to me of some of the incredible creation of an unbelievably imaginatative God. And it gives rise to me to meditations about our humanity, and that of our Savior’s truly human body and human life, AND of the reality of “the resurrection of the body, for ever and ever, world without end!”

It is exciting to consider many things–to want, to feel, to be aroused to things “in this world.” Desire for any good thing is part of our humanity, and one of my favorite themes is “the glory of God is a man fully alive!” Thirst, desire for a tasty drink, or hunger for a sweet–these are parallel appetites which when “indulged” in due order and in moderation are intended for our good–in excess they are also sinful. INDULGENCE of the sexual appetite requires marriage, but the instinct for it is, IMO, in the same category as other appetites-all gifts not given to angels/purely spirit beings.

It was a huge step for me spiritually to distinguish between what I FEEL and what I DO about things - many things. My daughter would resist going to bed at bedtime: “Honey, it’s ok not to want to go to bed; but it’s time to go to bed anyway!” So this is of the same genre: it’s ok to FEEL hungry, aroused, thirsty, etc. but what you DO is to be in keeping with the right behaviors associated with those arousals… I.e., there is a very important distinction between temptation–what you feel, which refers to what is natural instinct–and sin–what you DO about most anything. It is very easy to confuse these especially in the area of sexual arousals.

 

[Irish_Becca]

If you were not intentionally lusting after something, and just happened to get aroused, then that’s nothing to confess.

Like, if I think about having an itchy eye and then my eyes start to itch. Same thing. LOL

I’d say you’re in the clear.

 

[teachccd]

If you were not intentionally lusting after something, and just happened to get aroused, then that’s nothing to confess.

Like, if I think about having an itchy eye and then my eyes start to itch. Same thing. LOL

I’d say you’re in the clear.

Only difference is if you then have that itchy eye you will tend to scratch it. So, if you will an erection even without all of the lustful attachments, there can be a near occasion of sin unless one practices extreme discipline… teachccd