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pumpkinbeast
Guest
I have a dilema that I’d like your advice on. I don’t normally frequent this section of CAF, but it seemed the appropriate place to post it.
There is a particular computer game I like to play. For the purposes of the discussion, it doesn’t matter which one it is, but two aspects of it are important: 1) you pay for it on a monthly basis (pay a fee, and you get to play as much as you want for 30 days) and 2) it’s online and multi-player, so I play it with my friends. I played it all last summer, but I don’t pay for it during my school terms, because I know I need to concentrate on my classes and my work.
The problem: I played it too much last summer, and over Christmas break. Now, I do have a broken leg, and it was broken all last summer (though I didn’t know it then x.o) and I was on crutches because of this injury during Christmas break, so I was fairly immobile and homebound (first because of pain walking and then because of the crutches). So this gave me a perfectly legitimate reason to be fairly sedentary, and play this game. But, during the summer at least, I would go to work, come back, and immediately start playing. Sometimes (not always), I would have a fairly meager supper because I didn’t want to cook anything, because I had gotten immersed in the game and forgot to start making something until it was fairly late. I would stay up later than I should have, playing. I ignored all the other things I like to do (read, write, embroider, etc.) to play the game. I would delay doing chores and the like as well.
I enjoyed playing the game, but at the same time, I felt a bit ‘trapped’, like I ‘had’ to play it, rather than just playing it because I wanted to. So that was one of the things that alerted me to the problem.
So, I have some solutions:
I’m sorry this is such a complicated and multi-faceted question, but it’s something I’ve been pondering (and praying about) for awhile. Thanks in advance to anyone who attempts to answer it.
There is a particular computer game I like to play. For the purposes of the discussion, it doesn’t matter which one it is, but two aspects of it are important: 1) you pay for it on a monthly basis (pay a fee, and you get to play as much as you want for 30 days) and 2) it’s online and multi-player, so I play it with my friends. I played it all last summer, but I don’t pay for it during my school terms, because I know I need to concentrate on my classes and my work.
The problem: I played it too much last summer, and over Christmas break. Now, I do have a broken leg, and it was broken all last summer (though I didn’t know it then x.o) and I was on crutches because of this injury during Christmas break, so I was fairly immobile and homebound (first because of pain walking and then because of the crutches). So this gave me a perfectly legitimate reason to be fairly sedentary, and play this game. But, during the summer at least, I would go to work, come back, and immediately start playing. Sometimes (not always), I would have a fairly meager supper because I didn’t want to cook anything, because I had gotten immersed in the game and forgot to start making something until it was fairly late. I would stay up later than I should have, playing. I ignored all the other things I like to do (read, write, embroider, etc.) to play the game. I would delay doing chores and the like as well.
I enjoyed playing the game, but at the same time, I felt a bit ‘trapped’, like I ‘had’ to play it, rather than just playing it because I wanted to. So that was one of the things that alerted me to the problem.
So, I have some solutions:
- Stop playing all together. I won’t buy any more time for the game, ever again. This is the easiest in terms of carrying out. Trouble is, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to do something like this. Doesn’t matter what other activity it was, but I did become addicted to something else in a very similar manner, and decided to quit it entirely as well. So, as my boyfriend pointed out, this could be a personality fault that I’ll have to combat at some point, the ability to regulate the time spent on things I enjoy a lot.
- The game has ‘parental controls’ that can be activated, restricting game play to particular hours of the day. I could ask my boyfriend to place these restrictions on my account. 2 difficulties with this solution: I will still have to exercise self-control, because I know if I ask him, he’ll extend the time allotted. He plays the game himself, and likes to play it with me, so he wouldn’t be adverse to me spending more time on it. An neither would the other people who play with me. So, I would have effectively no support for playing less, and a lot for playing more. Also, how much is enough? Some would say anything more than an hour is completely and utterly ridiculous, and others would see no problem with 3 hours or more.
I’m sorry this is such a complicated and multi-faceted question, but it’s something I’ve been pondering (and praying about) for awhile. Thanks in advance to anyone who attempts to answer it.
The more time I spend on the computer, the more time my teenage sons spend on computer games. (What one family member does affects the *whole *family.) Parental controls are a nice thing and I use them on my children, but eventually we need to learn to control ourselves. I think your boyfriend is right suggesting that this may be an aspect of you that is inclined toward addiction and excesses. (Three plus hours without breaks for meals is excessive.) So, I’d suggest giving it up completely for a while, then when you feel you have better control, try it again with moderation. If it crosses back over from moderation to excess, cut it out again. Repeat as needed.