Personal safety vs charity

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If someone comes to my door in need of help, am I bound to help them out of charity even though it means risking my safety and the safety of my family?

Take it a step further… say there has been a rash of home invasions in my area and the police are looking for a person matching X description with a blue toyota corolla, and I can see that all of this information matches the person ringing my doorbell… am I still bound to open it and offer help because I cannot judge with 100% certainty that this is the person that the police are looking for, and even if it is, he may be in genuine need of aid this time? Does the answer depend on whether I’m a muscular single man with a loaded rifle within arm’s reach, or a woman home alone with her two young children, or in either case should charity be expressed even though it might lead to assault or lives lost?
 
Melancholic said:
If someone comes to my door in need of help, am I bound to help them out of charity even though it means risking my safety and the safety of my family?

Take it a step further… say there has been a rash of home invasions in my area and the police are looking for a person matching X description with a blue toyota corolla, and I can see that all of this information matches the person ringing my doorbell… am I still bound to open it and offer help because I cannot judge with 100% certainty that this is the person that the police are looking for, and even if it is, he may be in genuine need of aid this time? Does the answer depend on whether I’m a muscular single man with a loaded rifle within arm’s reach, or a woman home alone with her two young children, or in either case should charity be expressed even though it might lead to assault or lives lost?
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In the scenario you have given you could possibly communicate with the person through a closed door. If he wants to use your phone, you could tell him to give you the number and you will place the call for him. If he decalres some other emergency, you could offer to call 911.
 
Melancholic said:
If someone comes to my door in need of help, am I bound to help them out of charity even though it means risking my safety and the safety of my family?

Take it a step further… say there has been a rash of home invasions in my area and the police are looking for a person matching X description with a blue toyota corolla, and I can see that all of this information matches the person ringing my doorbell… am I still bound to open it and offer help because I cannot judge with 100% certainty that this is the person that the police are looking for, and even if it is, he may be in genuine need of aid this time? Does the answer depend on whether I’m a muscular single man with a loaded rifle within arm’s reach, or a woman home alone with her two young children, or in either case should charity be expressed even though it might lead to assault or lives lost?
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You are never bound to expose yourself to danger.

You can talk to them through the window. If someone comes to your door asking for emergency help, offer to call the police for them. If they are looking for food or shelter, offer to find the nearest shelter or food kitchen.

God Bless
 
This is a very hypothetical example, and the probabilities of that happening are almost nonexistent.

I notice that I, sometimes, use safety as an excuse for not helping the needy. I say to myself why if I start talking to him/her and he/she attacks me. We have been raised with the motto: “Do not talk to strangers”, and while that motto protects the kids, when applied in adult life it actually means: “Do not care about your neighbor, if you want to help, write a check for charity, but do not talk or approach the poor, sick or any kind of stranger” It is very sad, but very true. I struggle with this, because I am not loving my neighbor as Jesus taught us.
 
FK04US said:
This is a very hypothetical example, and the probabilities of that happening are almost nonexistent.

I notice that I, sometimes, use safety as an excuse for not helping the needy. I say to myself why if I start talking to him/her and he/she attacks me. We have been raised with the motto: “Do not talk to strangers”, and while that motto protects the kids, when applied in adult life it actually means: “Do not care about your neighbor, if you want to help, write a check for charity, but do not talk or approach the poor, sick or any kind of stranger” It is very sad, but very true. I struggle with this, because I am not loving my neighbor as Jesus taught us.
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There is another side to all of this, however; there are those who feel they are demanded by the Gospels to give to every beggar in the street; and all too often they are simply feeding a drug and/or alcohol habit - an therefore bringing that person to a state of greater self harm. Their come-back is all to often “Well, I can’t judge” as if the issue of judgement in the Gospels was a demand to avoid all common sense.
 
banjo and bilop,

Is it charity to leave a person outside in the cold or rain waiting for the police (who probably have higher priorities) to show, or telling them to walk miles to a shelter when I could offer transportation and have them there within minutes? At the very least it seems inhospitable to keep my door shut in their faces. What about the hitchhiker on the highway… is it charity to give him a map to the shelter, which will take him half a day to walk to? I think that it is more Christlike to take him there in my car with the family in tow, dangerous or no…
and it is an ideal where I fail miserably.
 
Last summer a very nice young man came to our door to talk to us about Jesus. I’m not sure if he was Mormon or another denomination, but it was a very hot day out and my first inclination was to invite him in for a cold drink. I mean, he’s out there doing Jesus’s work, the least I could do was show him some hospitality! My father, however, yelled at me and let our HUGE chocolate Lab into the living room (which is a “no fur” zone in our house, only room where the pets are absolutely not allowed) to scare him off! I was really mad at him, but he gave me a long lecture that my inclination to do good was going to get us all killed or worse. 😦

I haven’t invited anyone into the house since then, but I try to do my part to help. I won’t approach a man if I’m out alone, for safety reasons, unless I see it’s a dire situation. When my father is with me, as he is often because my parents believe even a 26 year old female can get into ALOT of trouble out alone, I do reach out and help anyone who seems to need it. So I hope I’m doing the right thing.

One more brief story… Two or so years ago in Novemeber it was bitterly cold with freezing rain. A young man about my age was standing on the corner with his dog. I insisted on stopping and gave him a $10 bill so he could get something to eat at the Subway right behind him. My friend couldn’t believe I did that! His rationale? He’s just going to buy booze with it anyways. Are people really so jaded they won’t take a risk to help their brothers and sisters? Stuff like that really gets me down about the human race. 😦
 
Wow… is this a city folk thing or something? Where I live, I am fairly confident if I knocked on somebody’s door and asked for help they would at least make a phone call for me.

I never give cash but instead opt to go to the store and buy groceries for a hungry person. One time I saw a guy with a sign that said, “Will work for food” so I stopped at the grocery store and bought him carrots, peanutbutter, crackers, fruit, nuts or trail mix and some cheese and milk and a pair of gloves… then drove back by, stopped the car in the intersection and had my ds unroll the window and hand the man the bag. The man acted very grateful. A little while later I saw him leaving the intersection so I followed to see where he was going… he had the bag in hand and went under a bridge out of the wind and sat down to eat. He didn’t return to that intersection… he wasn’t looking for money to get drunk he WAS HUNGRY… think of the lesson I taught my kids that day… We took the time to go buy him healthy food that wouldn’t spoil and went back and gave it to him… no I don’t give cash but that won’t stop me from helping others.

This coming weekend my dd is volunteering to clean at BirthRite… my ds1 volunteers his services all the time to people who can’t afford to pay for home repairs and my ds2 is always there to shovel snow and help elderly clean or carry groceries… and often works with his brother. I think lessons like this go a long long way…
 
I can answer for where I am - if someone came to the house and I was alone (DH not home), I’d offer to call the Sherrif. A deputy would be here in just a couple of minutes to assist them. The person would be welcome to stand in my carport, out of the rain. It rarely gets in the danger zone as far as cold goes here…

I have a list of social service agnecies, emergency relief groups, etc. where I can refer if I cannot personally help.
 
Melancholic said:
If someone comes to my door in need of help, am I bound to help them out of charity even though it means risking my safety and the safety of my family?

Take it a step further… say there has been a rash of home invasions in my area and the police are looking for a person matching X description with a blue toyota corolla, and I can see that all of this information matches the person ringing my doorbell… am I still bound to open it and offer help because I cannot judge with 100% certainty that this is the person that the police are looking for, and even if it is, he may be in genuine need of aid this time? Does the answer depend on whether I’m a muscular single man with a loaded rifle within arm’s reach, or a woman home alone with her two young children, or in either case should charity be expressed even though it might lead to assault or lives lost?
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The single most important thing to do for the individual is prayer. After sincere prayer we may act. NEVER place yourself in danger. As many have said, the police will normally be glad to help. My favorite thing to do with “hungry” people is go to Mc Donalds / Wendys / any fast food establishment and buy them food. I’ve even given my groceries to a beggar as I was leaving a grocery, and yes he was VERY grateful. He also asked for money which I denied him. I’ve given clothes to people during cold weather. BTW I always keep extra clothes with me when I’m in the car, a matter of necessity in my profession, so I’m always prepared. I gave a woman who was stranded on the highway a ride to town and my jacket, only after I could see fluid leaking from her car, she surprised me about a month later, I got a letter from her, she was the tax accessor for my parish.
My point in all of this is we can do a lot without placing ourselves in danger.
 
As a side note, several years ago a State Representative from Slidell, a town just east of New Orleans, stopped in East New Orleans to help a woman who was stranded on the side of the road. He was shot in the face with a shotgun. He died leaving a wife and children. Should he have called a tow truck for her instead? Would that have been enough, maybe even pay for the tow if she needed? Call the police? If it’s a real emergency the police don’t mind. Nowhere does God say to risk your life.
 
Tom said:
Nowhere does God say to risk your life.
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I don’t know… would the martyrs agree?

See, I already struggle so much with the thought of martyrdom, should I ever be in a situation where that choice is thrust upon me (affirm God and die, or deny Him and live). But I’m supposed to choose loving God over all else. I’m not sure how the “persecution-to-death” situation differs from the “charity” situation I’ve posed. There’s still a choice… preserve myself and my family, or love God. Will God be pleased with compromise, when I help halfway, with half of the available resources I could be offering? I tend to think that I should extend as much charity as I can even though it might mean death, because that’s what obedience demands of me.
 
FK04US said:
This is a very hypothetical example, and the probabilities of that happening are almost nonexistent.

I notice that I, sometimes, use safety as an excuse for not helping the needy. I say to myself why if I start talking to him/her and he/she attacks me. We have been raised with the motto: “Do not talk to strangers”, and while that motto protects the kids, when applied in adult life it actually means: “Do not care about your neighbor, if you want to help, write a check for charity, but do not talk or approach the poor, sick or any kind of stranger” It is very sad, but very true. I struggle with this, because I am not loving my neighbor as Jesus taught us.
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i totally understand this dilemma, because most kids are taught these things, and its hard to overwrite ingrained teachings like that. and while yes, the hypothetical is far fetched, dont let an unreasonable fear outweigh your human decency, but on the other hand, dont just throw away your intuition, either. remember, growing up, we were also taught “the policeman is your friend”…
 
Melancholic said:
I don’t know… would the martyrs agree?

See, I already struggle so much with the thought of martyrdom, should I ever be in a situation where that choice is thrust upon me (affirm God and die, or deny Him and live). But I’m supposed to choose loving God over all else. I’m not sure how the “persecution-to-death” situation differs from the “charity” situation I’ve posed. There’s still a choice… preserve myself and my family, or love God. Will God be pleased with compromise, when I help halfway, with half of the available resources I could be offering? I tend to think that I should extend as much charity as I can even though it might mean death, because that’s what obedience demands of me.
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You might want to review what the term martyr means in the Church. I don’t recall anyone being considered a martyr for being killed by a crazy or a criminal while “assisting” them.

Part of the problem here is that there are a large number of people who don’t exhibit common sense. But then, the constant problem with common sense is that it is not common… People make decisions to “help” the “poor” based on emotion, not logic. Christ commanded us to help the poor - I really don’t think that included helping them feed a drug habit or an alcohol habit. Catholic Charities is able to help the poor because they are set up to help identify those who have drug and alcohol addictions and get them into programs. Most people are not able to identify problems that may exist, and rarely ever have the ability to get someone with a problem into a program.

Your dichotomy is a false dichotomy - it is not “preserve myself or love God”. Loving God does not mean that you have no right - or for that matter, duty - to protect yourself. Loving God is not exhibited by getting a large caliber round inserted into your body mass at 900 fps, or having a knife inserted into your abdomen. That is called stupidity.

Surveys have been done of those standing by stop signs with notes. The average cash flow was in the range of $35 per hour. why would someone go to a charitable organization when they could; make that kind of money if a couple of hours of work, tax free? The answer is that a goodly number of them won’t beg on the corner, and they do go to a church or other institution for assistance. And some truly do need the cash because of a temporary issue. Others simply choose to live that way. Naivety reigns among those who operate on emotions for a response.

There are numerous charities which are designed to answer the problems of need for food, clothing and shelter. They are also designed to assist those who have fallen to addictions. Support of those charities is an act of love, a way of loving God and responding effectively.
 
I am sure there have been thousands of unrecognized martyrs.

Dying while performing an act of kindness in Jesus’ name may not get recognition as a martyr here on Earth, but I am sure it does in Heaven.
 
One of the best examples to cite concerning such matters is that of St. Maximilian Kolbe. What this Polish Preist made happen in the hell hole of Auschwitz is awe inspiring. St. Kolbe could have stayed in his row of prisioners. Instead this man who dared to love God completely walked out of line, against all protocols and went up to the German soldier in charge. By all rights he should have been shot or beaten at least. St. Kolbe offered to exchange places with a prisioner named Francis. Francis had a wife and children and had cried out that he would never see them again. St. Kolbe spent 2 weeks in a starvation room, without food or water; or enough room for all 10 men to lay down. He lead this group in prayer and hymns. He changed the spirit of the men in that place by his example. One of the most prominent moments of evil on this earth saw the light of Christ emerge from within it.

St. Kolbe’s life ended on August 14, 1941 with an injection of cabolic acid. He understood though that it was not truly his life, but God’s gift to him. So he used it to show his love for God in so many ways through his years on earth.

Oh, by the way the man, Francis Gajowniczek, lived to a ripe old age (late 80s or 90s). Francis spent the rest of his life repaying the debt he felt towards St. Kolbe for the sacrifice he had made for Francis.

St. Gianna Molla and St. Maria Goretti are two more examples of loving God more than compromising their faith.

God bless
 
The question seems to be whether one is compromising one’s faith by not offering charity to someone who could be dangerous.

My brain is foggy today, so I’ll just leave it at that.

God bless us all,

Ruthie
 
bilop said:
You are never bound to expose yourself to danger.

You can talk to them through the window. If someone comes to your door asking for emergency help, offer to call the police for them. If they are looking for food or shelter, offer to find the nearest shelter or food kitchen.

God Bless
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No exceptions to the rule!
 
Ruthie said:
The question seems to be whether one is compromising one’s faith by not offering charity to someone who could be dangerous.

My brain is foggy today, so I’ll just leave it at that.

God bless us all,

Ruthie
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You are not foggy; that is the essence of the question.

There are very few who are called to radical charity such as was Dorothy Day. Many call her a saint; others question her sanity and still others impugn her charity by questioning her political views. That she lived a life of radical charity is factually not really open to much challenge though.

But to presume that one’s faith is not being lived out because one does not live a Dorothy did is not a presumption supported by what the Church teaches. The assumption that one is not living a life of charity because one does not give assistance to every person who appear needy is not one supported by Church teaching on charity nor any moral code taught by the Magisterium. We have a duty of charity and that is clearly set forth in the Church’s teaching; but how one goes about it is not dictated in any way that would indicate that one should violate common sense safety, or that one would be violating the moral dictum of charity by giving to a charitable institution as opposed to the next perceived poor person on the street.
 
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