Personal Situation

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alexinchains109

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Quick sum up. I have only recently joined the catholic church in the last 8 months, before that II was an atheist for a good 5 years of my life and before that, I was a baptist before that. I am 19 years old also. Here’s my problem.

I want to be a good catholic man but I have many vices that I cant seem to break. I have some carryover problems that are stuck to me like leaches from my old atheist days, notably, a problem with addictions to certain things. I only ask for some sort of advice in getting rid of addictions. I have attempted fasting, reading the bible, but still, i cant break through. Sometimes I pray, but I dont feel it most of the time. It is affecting my spirituality because I feel that these vices are preventing me from fully being with God. Thank you for listening.

-Alex
 
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alexinchains109:
Quick sum up. I have only recently joined the catholic church in the last 8 months, before that II was an atheist for a good 5 years of my life and before that, I was a baptist before that. I am 19 years old also. Here’s my problem.

I want to be a good catholic man but I have many vices that I cant seem to break. I have some carryover problems that are stuck to me like leaches from my old atheist days, notably, a problem with addictions to certain things. I only ask for some sort of advice in getting rid of addictions. I have attempted fasting, reading the bible, but still, i cant break through. Sometimes I pray, but I dont feel it most of the time. It is affecting my spirituality because I feel that these vices are preventing me from fully being with God. Thank you for listening.

-Alex
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Don’t be afraid! Addictions in many cases don’t disappear instantly. (Bear in mind that it sometimes does happen.) You did not mention whether you are going to frequent confession. This is very important because this sacrament is more powerful than any exorcism for driving out demons. I would say go at least once a month, or even once a week if need be. Find a good catechesis about how to get the most out of confession. The St. Joseph Baltimore Catechism vol. 2 is an old, 2-color book with really cheesy illustrations, but it cuts like a laser beam as far as teaching (especially on confession).

Other advice:
  1. Continue fasting
  2. Flee from occasions of sin-- by now you know what leads you to trouble. Anticipate and avoid.
  3. Ask for Our Lady’s intercession. Contemplate her virtues
  4. Examination of concience every night.
  5. Morning offering every morning and specifically ask God and your guardian angel to help you keep from falling into any sin.
And I will certainly pray for you.

Scott
 
Welcome to the church. Do not be afraid! Go to confession, listen to the priest’s advice carefully, and follow it. Pray the rosary daily. Also, look into twelve step programs. There are probably a lot of other people in your area combatting these same vices.
 
Hello! I too am an ex athiest, and I understand exactly what you are going through…it’s especially hard when you still live with athiest parents (happened to me). I had an extremely hard time waking up and getting to church on Sun. morning, when all my training throughout my life had been to make sunday MY day of rest. I also smoked at an early age, because my mother had no qualms with that, and drank without hesitation or knowledge that it could be sinful if overdone.

What you are doing now is trying to teach yourself morals. That is so commendable! I suggest that you surround yourself with people who already have good morals…this may mean, if you haven’t already, breaking away from old friends…it is tough! I didn’t do such a great job myself, I was 16…It’s hard to break away from your parents when you live with them, and my parents are practicing athiests.

It sounds like to me you are doing a great job. I asked God for faith everyday, and he took away the craving to drink excessively…but something addictive, and I thank God I wasn’t an alchoholic, you may need help with…see a doctor.

You have been choosen! I think a christian coming from athiest family is a miracle in itself! Congratulations!

God Bless You
Lillith
 
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alexinchains109:
Quick sum up. I have only recently joined the catholic church in the last 8 months, before that II was an atheist for a good 5 years of my life and before that, I was a baptist before that. I am 19 years old also. Here’s my problem.

I want to be a good catholic man but I have many vices that I cant seem to break. I have some carryover problems that are stuck to me like leaches from my old atheist days, notably, a problem with addictions to certain things. I only ask for some sort of advice in getting rid of addictions. I have attempted fasting, reading the bible, but still, i cant break through. Sometimes I pray, but I dont feel it most of the time. It is affecting my spirituality because I feel that these vices are preventing me from fully being with God. Thank you for listening.

-Alex
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I can relate to this and struggle with addictions and bad habits too. Even the ones that do not seem that bad (like being online playing games too much) take time and effort away from better things I could be doing. This for example, staying online for so long, I am too tired to go to Mass. Spending hours in a row online but not saying any prayers (other than quick blessings, but just not putting the effort in to keep in touch with God).

Add gluttony, sloth and music and literature (on and offline) that can be near occasions of sin at best, and I expose myself to a major recipe for disaster. Even with internet abuse as one of my problems, I did visit this website and see that I need to get on track again. My prayers are with you.:gopray:
 
Welcome to the family! I agree with everything that has been stated here already, so I will just add a few things.

Ask God everyday to give you the ability to get farther away from these things each day. Like in anger or frustration, I would ask God to hepl me to take longer to reach my boiling point each day.

Ask Micheal the Archangel to help you fight these demons. Remember you are never alone! Satan and his fallen angels will pull harder if they think they have a shot at getting you back. The less of a chance, the less they will bombard you and look for other prey. These addictions are like false gods if they are taking your focus away from God.

Check with your local diocese to see if they have a retreat facility or program that would be of interest to you. I am a product of 12 years of Catholic schooling and in high school we would take a retreat once a year. It is like a break from the reality of the society. On a retreat you have no internet, tv, etc to distract you from connecting with God. The one my school used was on the grounds of a local monastary. The grounds were beautiful and peaceful, the chapel was small but the spiritual presence was there. The monks would also hear confessions after dinner. It was a wonderful place to get away and think with out the pressures of society. I even went back to lead a retreat after I graduated so I could have this special time again.

You are on the right path, keep you focus clear! Do not be afraid to ask for help and forgiveness!
 
Based on my limited experience in the field of addiction-kicking, I’d say you’ve already made a good first step. You’ve realized you’re addicted and you’ve realized it’s something you need to kick.

Quitting cold turkey is not what I’d advise. Try going for the allotment principle. For instance, a smoking example. Resolve to smoke one cigarette less than you usually do per day. Do this for a while and then go for one still less. Eventually you’ll be free of the addiction. The trick is NOT to consider an extra cigarette a reward. “I was good yesterday and barely smoked at all so I get to have an extra today” is a very bad way to get rid of it. If you barely smoked at all yesterday, go out and grab an ice cream to reward yourself.

And above all, pray. But try to remember that God helps those who help themselves; He won’t do all the work. He may do most of it, but kicking an addiction is not easy and YOU have to take the first steps - most of which you’ve already done.

Congratulations and applause on your decisions! :clapping:
 
First I would like to say, “Welcome Home!”

I learned this from Fr. John Corapi: Take everything to Mary,
she is your “broker”. Pray for her intersession and she will help you.
I highly recommend Fr. Corpai to you. You should listen to his
conversion story, it is incredible.
Here is his website: WWW.FATHERCORAPI.COM

God bless and I will pray for you!
 
Thank you everyone for your outpouring of support. I really do appreciate all of this advice.

I have been analyzing the different methods of attempting to rid of my old vices or what I call “the last vestiges of my old self”. The retreat option I have been attempting to do because I really do want to go to a retreat. Concerning a confession, I have never been to confession in my life. It seems somehow difficult for me, but I will try. I will pray, and I will pray along with the other suggestions that have been given me. Thank you everybody, and god bless.

-Alex
 
Alex,

Go to confession! If you have never been, then you do not know the uplifting feeling you get from asking God for forgivness and receiving it! It does seem scarey to a new comer, but how light you will feel when you unload your burdens. The priest is not there to judge you, only to be there on Christ’s behalf and council you.

I was taken back by a comment from Joan of Arcadia in reference to confession, “What a wonderful gift God has given us! A place to get rid of the guilt we hold on to for the things we have done.” Guilt can consume you, and it can keep you from God. If you are nervous, one that is good because you are apporaching this in a humble state, you can find a church that uses the confessionals with the screens. However, since this is your first time, you might want to make an appointment with a local priest so you do not feel rushed and have a more personal, face to face, penance. 😉
 
Venerable Matthew Talbot was an Irishman who had similar addiction problems. He spent his whole life fighting his addiction, and dedicated his sufferings to those less fortunate and to the Lord.

matt-talbot.com/

catholic-forum.com/saints/saintm8j.htm

circleofprayer.com/matt-talbot.html

revolutionoflove.com/lessons/triumphant/ven_matt_talbot.htm

clairval.com/lettres/lettre_1.php?id=2180804

The last link is a beautiful and lengthy piece on his life.

There are many who ask for the Venerable Matt Talbot to intercede for them and their own addiction problems.

May Matt Talbot’s triumph over addiction, brings hope to our community and strength to our hearts, may he intercede for alexinchains109 who struggles with his/her addiction.
Through Christ Our Lord.
Amen
 
Ask for St. Augustine to intercede for you as well as our Blessed Virgin Mother. I too have struggled with addictions. I am an alcoholic addict. While I have through the grace of God quit abusing/using alcohol and drugs if given the occasion to sin I will. Case in point prescription painkillers. I have to be very careful with them. I try my best not to even get them. I have also struggled with porn. I still do sin on occasion with that. I will go to confession and discuss this. I want you to know that while a struggle it does get better and easier with time and the grace of our Lord and saviour. You are in my prayers.

May the peace of the Lord be with you!
 
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kp1:
Alex,
Go to confession! If you have never been, then you do not know the uplifting feeling you get from asking God for forgivness and receiving it! It does seem scarey to a new comer, but how light you will feel when you unload your burdens.
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Alex, I totally agree with what kp1 writes. Confession is scary, but such a relief! Even if you have to go back and confess the same thing next week or next month, each time it gets easier to avoid the sin.
You might consider changing your internet name (I forget what that’s called.) You’re not alex in chains anymore, you’ve been set free by Christ.
Praying for you.
 
Alex,

Just out of curiosity, how did you join the Catholic Church without going to confession? I joined the Church a year ago and had to go to confession before receiving Holy Communion for the first time. By “join” do you mean that you are attending mass and going through RCIA?

If you’re still in the process of faith formation, prayer will be of much help to you during this time. If you do not already start your day by kneeling down beside the bed in some kind of formal prayer (even an “Our Father” and a request for Jesus to help you throughout the day is a wonderful start), I hope you will do so! That has been the number one most helpful thing for me in battling temptation. Put your entire life in context–with God.

If you really are a full Catholic, meaning you had a ceremony marking your entrance into the Church and received your first communion… then you are able to take full advantage of the sacraments, which will also be of much help. Going to confession weekly or twice monthly will give you an accountability partner in Christ–and in your parish priest, too, if you can manage always to go to the same priest. I echo what the others are saying to you: don’t be afraid! You can always begin a confession by saying how little experience you have with confession and the priest should be happy to lead you through the sacrament.

It is of vital importance that you go to confession before receiving communion if you believe you have committed a mortal sin. If you do not, you will be committing a sin in taking the eucharist without being in a state of grace. Beyond the injury this does to Christ, you will hurt yourself as well. If you’re not already, get yourself in a state of grace ASAP through the Sacrament of Confession, and you will be able to receive so many more helps and graces that Jesus is longing to give to you!
 
Maybe he didn’t need to go to confession because he received the sacrement of baptism when he entered the church? Those that fell into that catagory didn’t need to go to confession in my RCIA group. (the rest of us were jealous! ;))

Seriously though… confession is a wonderful thing. It literally feels like the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders so I would highly reccomend it. Also, don’t get too down on yourself. We are all a work in progress. I may not suffer from the same temptations as you, but trust me… mine are difficult to fight off too. Satan knows our weakness but take courage… GOD IS SO MUCH STONGER! With his help you can do anything! My favovite verse:

“I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!” (and you!)

Peace be with you,
CM
 
Maybe he didn’t need to go to confession because he received the sacrement of baptism when he entered the church?
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Good point! I can’t believe that didn’t even occur to me, heh. I guess a child raised in a Baptist church might not necessarily have been baptized.
 
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Mike_Olson:
I have also struggled with porn. I still do sin on occasion with that. I will go to confession and discuss this.
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Sadly, this is something many Christians struggle with. It’s become so prevalant and easy to view—as well as very addictive I’m told. My friend just found her 16 year old son was caught in the grip of this very sin.

Prayer is the most powerful weapon.
 
From one Alex to another, I can sympathize, when I was going through realizing my marriage was over I was almost sick with grief but held it together for my son. I never asked God to change things but to help me deal with what I had in from of me, to help me see some light and in time things did come into focus and I saw why things happened. This clarity helped me guide my son though his losing his mother and help me be a better Father. I know you say you have vices, tempations but only you can fight them and realize why they are there. Try to divert your feeling and desires, work out until you are dog tired, read-not just the Bible but any and everything, go shopping, walk, if you have a steady job do all you can. Being a good Christian means being a great person. I think God wants us to be good to ourselves.
 
Stay strong brother.

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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