I don't know why you are content to take the refusal of the annulment as what God wants. From what you have posted I would question why the STAFF of the Tribunal can decide you should not get one on your statement alone. The Tribunal itself is the one that should decide that and only after they have recieved testimony from everyone. By the way your ex wife does not have to answer anything, My ex husaband didn't, they must try to contact her but she need not reply.
If you really want to go into some religous order if I were you I would resubmit. Someone else mentioned on here that you could be a Deacon or a Priest, I am pretty sure in order to be either one you cannot simply be divorced you must have an annulment .
You don’t sound judgmental and I didn’t take it that way.
This is true and perhaps you and the several other posters are correct in that I should pursue this. I will consider that and I will make an appointment to speak with the deacon who has been assisting me with this entire process. However, right at this moment. I think that I need a break. This entire thing that friends, family, and religious have told me will help me heal has done nothing but cause extreme pain and sadness. Perhaps what you said is also true to some point; that I don’t know what I want. Actually, I do know what I want… to have my wife return so that we can begin to fix the marriage. However, since that isn’t going to happen, what is the next best thing I want to come out of this??? That is the problem. In 20+ years of marriage, I never thought about life without my wife. So, now that it’s a reality, I really don’t know what I personally want. I know that I love God. I know that I have trust issues against my fellow human beings. I know that I want to be a part of something bigger than myself and help produce something good… Therefore, I concluded that perhaps I could find some peace separated from the world in a monastic community, serving God and praying for others. As I said, I used this petition as part of the discerning process by saying, “If God wants me to be a monk the declaration will be granted. If God wants me to stay married but be alone (possibly penance for a lifetime of sins), then the petition will be denied.” I left it in God’s hands and that is why I am reluctant to fight the outcome. It almost seems as though I am fighting what God has willed for me in this situation. I can certainly understand if you see it differently, and perhaps I will eventually come to that conclusion as well, but right now, today, that is how I see it.
I’ll be making an appointment with the deacon who has been helping me through this process and perhaps I’ll go forward on this once again. I don’t know for sure at this point because I still feel that had God wanted this to be granted nothing would have stopped it. I also am tired of the pain caused by this whole situation. I completed all the paperwork and simply held on to it for 6 months because of the sadness I was experiencing over the THOUGHT of turning them in. On the day I submitted it, I broke down. The divorce wasn’t even as painful for me. This whole thing has me turned completely upside down. I just want to feel peace again.Hi again,
Just thinking here, I thought I read that in an Annulment book that you could resubmit all the documents in another Tribunal if you or she live in a different area or were married in a different area? Perhaps a meeting with a priest is in order to flesh out what more you could say about the situation.
It sounds like you really have ministerial aspirations and really, you do need to know that your case was honestly and prayerfully evaluated. It isn’t that you are not accepting God’s decision, I don’ t think. If proper form wasn’t followed, then how can you think that that is a true reflection of Him?
I would try again with more counsel, and if proper form is followed and the nullity is still denied, then you know.
That’s just my thinking, tho
I believe that you are exactly right. Throughout the questionnaire that accompanied the petition, I did not presume to speak for my wife. I explained how and what I thought, but only stated facts rather than assumptions. Since true intentions can only be known by the individual who has them (and God), I would not answer for my wife. I advised, on the paperwork, that she would have to supply the answers concerning her intentions at the time of the marriage.
Yes, the marriage had it’s problems to be sure. However, since everything is based on the day of the marriage and the participants’ intentions, understandings, motivations, and mental capacities, I do not believe that there were any problems. Apparently, the staff at the tribunal do not as well.
Agreed, and I did that the first time around. I don’t know what else can be added on my part. What I submitted was everything as it related to the marriage from my point of view (thoughts, intentions, dreams, motivations, etc).
I hope so as well. However, right at this moment, I don’t know where else to explore, what else needs to be said, etc. I thought that I was very detailed, but as I said, I refused to make assumptions as to the intentions that my wife may have had. I stated the facts and what she said and/or did in certain areas, but I did not draw conclusions for them based on this as to her intentions or motivations. I believed that when they notified her, that she would (or perhaps would not) provide that. But for whatever reason, they choose to end the process rather than go that far into the investigation.