Pets are not the same as babies

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@Aggie414-

I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. In my case, I always wanted children; but God had other plans for my life. I’m single, and my “furbabies” are who I talk to when I walk in the door. They’re happy to see me.

Do some people take it too far? Probably. But most if not all of us have some issue that we go overboard on. And as long as what they’re doing is not illegal, immoral, or fattening, what does it really matter?

Nice posts. It says it all. Love to you and your furbabies.
 
I too am annoyed by this trend. I see many many young couples who are not married, living together and contracepting and fornicating and refer to their pets as children. I think many times it is a symptom of a society that devalues children and procreation. I think it is a symptom of a sickness. However, I do understand when people who are older, lonely, or childless refer to their pets as children or babies. And I can understand their want to do so.

But most times I have heard it it is from people who have the pets as novelties and substitutes for children.

It is honestly one of my pet peeves.
 
@Aggie414
Aggie414 said:
Exactly. I refer to my dogs as my babies – I usually do say furbabies, though.

I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. In my case, I always wanted children; but God had other plans for my life. I’m single, and my “furbabies” are who I talk to when I walk in the door. They’re happy to see me.

Do some people take it too far? Probably. But most if not all of us have some issue that we go overboard on. And as long as what they’re doing is not illegal, immoral, or fattening, what does it really matter?
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Nice post. It says it all. Blessings to you and your furbabies.
 
I think the vast majority of people who use such language are fully aware that their pets are not human children and are just being affectionate. However, I have personally encountered a few of the types who adamantly declare that their animals are their babies and just as dear to them as real parents’ babies are to them and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a judgemental animal-hater. I chalk it up to “some people just have to have special attention.”
 
First off, recognize that this answer would be nearly as obnoxious if the other person made the same comment in reference to their own literal child. It is hardly different than saying, “When I have a bad dream, I just get over it by myself.”

What I would do depends on what other social cues I got with the remark, so I’d have some idea why on earth they’d say something like that.

It could be an uncharitably snide remark coming out of frustration which means something like, “Have you forgotten that I don’t even HAVE a child? I would love a child, but so far I have a dog, instead, so I have no sympathy for your complaining.” IOW, the person could be trying to punish you for being insensitive to a problem you don’t even know this person has.

It could be a lame try at a joke, such as making a jest about how hard it is to get into the most competitive obedience schools, as if this were like trying to get your child a spot at a competitive school.

It could be this person is hostile towards children. It could be this person loves children and pets, but think they are essentially the same thing. It could be this person just doesn’t want to hear about anyone else’s problems. It could be a lot of things.

There is only one thing I know for sure: Unless this person were so close that I could bluntly ask, “You what? What’s up with that? Nobody on the planet gets up with their dog. They wouldn’t know the poor mutt had a bad dream if they did. Are you pulling my leg, or what?”

Otherwise, I would stay as far as possible from the topics of a) children, especially mine and b) pets, especially this person’s pet.
 
I know some people think of their pets as if they were humans so I would mostly ignore the comments. However, I wonder if the person is being kind of sarcastic and just doesn’t want to hear any baby comments so makes similar comments about her pets.
 
I think some people are reading too much into it. I mean, people call their spouse or significant other ‘baby’ and they certainly aren’t that, are they?
I’m not elderly, nor want to conceive (I’m not married) or lonely but I have dogs and call them my fur babies. Nothing literal about it. Calling your sweetheart ‘pumpkin’ doesn’t make them a pumpkin. To me when people call pets ‘babies’ I just imagine them bring very spoiled and happy animals. Good for them.

My parents are the ‘grandparents’ of the pups but it’s said in a silly tone. Am I supposed to say ‘go to my mom, she has a treat for you!’ Or ‘go to grandma, she has a treat for you!’ The latter, somehow, seems more appropriate. All puppies are cute! All babies…debatable. But that’s another matter. My apologies.
 
Gosh! Was my post that badly explained that many of you think that I’m annoyed by what people call their pets? It’s not about what they call them, it’s not my problem or business. It’s when they think that that babies can be treated the same way as pets.

The person I’m referring to is not infertile, elderly, lonely, etc. but the kind Hoossierdady explained. I’m not going to say more because then some of you guys would again miss the point and blast me for being judgemental and what not.

I’m also not looking to fight with this person that’s why my first option was to ignore.
I provided the other options as egs that I could think of. I also thought that maybe I had to say something else, to stand up for babies, than ignore.

I also don’t discuss such things with this person but I’m asked “how’s your baby sleeping lately?” And that’s how it starts.

Thank you Easterjoy for your kind response, for taking the time and effort into understanding the situation from a few miserably written lines. I’m happy there are people like you on this forum.
 
Et_Cetera said:
There are way more important things to worry about than what someone calls their pet. Live and let live. If it bothers you that much, then you need to find a way to chill yourself out.
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:eek: That’s quite a mean way of saying what you are saying.
 
Ejperchenough said:
Gosh! Was my post that badly explained that many of you think that I’m annoyed by what people call their pets? It’s not about what they call them, it’s not my problem or business. It’s when they think that that babies can be treated the same way as pets.

The person I’m referring to is not infertile, elderly, lonely, etc. but the kind Hoossierdady explained. I’m not going to say more because then some of you guys would again miss the point and blast me for being judgemental and what not.

I’m also not looking to fight with this person that’s why my first option was to ignore.
I provided the other options as egs that I could think of. I also thought that maybe I had to say something else, to stand up for babies, than ignore.

I also don’t discuss such things with this person but I’m asked “how’s your baby sleeping lately?” And that’s how it starts.

Thank you Easterjoy for your kind response, for taking the time and effort into understanding the situation from a few miserably written lines. I’m happy there are people like you on this forum.
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I don’t get why you feel you need to “stand up for babies”, but maybe that’s just me. Stand up for them against what?
 
CatholicSheila said:
There are very few people in this world who aren’t aware of that.
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I’m not so sure about that anymore. There are many many people who attribute human qualities to pets. And who do not have children. We live in a culture of childlessness. That is undeniable. And pets are flourishing. Many young couples who are contraception have pets. I have seen court cases where people think pets are worth human lives. And I have talked to MANY pet owners who say things about their pets that are impossible. “Fido knows this, or does this” Fido, would never do this because he knows it is wrong"

Been to a pet store lately? Looked at the toys? The foods? The OUTFITS?

I have 4 kids outside the womb and one in it. And a dog. We have had bunnies, fish, etc. And yes, when my wife and I got married and were children of the culture we used ABC and referred to that dog as our child. And we were wrong and annoying about it. We were young, we did not know. And I think that is common.

I have always wondered about the dangers of replacing a child with a pet. In the natural order of things you have kids and then you die. But when you substitute a pet in that equation, and treat or think of it like a child, you will most likely see it die, and the next and the next, (Unless you “baby” is a Giant Tortoise) So why do that to yourself?

Pets are Gods gift to us to be companions. And they are great at that. But elevating them to person hood is unhealthy and not intended. And I think many do this.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I’m not so sure about that anymore. There are many many people who attribute human qualities to pets. And who do not have children. We live in a culture of childlessness. That is undeniable. And pets are flourishing. Many young couples who are contraception have pets. I have seen court cases where people think pets are worth human lives. And I have talked to MANY pet owners who say things about their pets that are impossible. “Fido knows this, or does this” Fido, would never do this because he knows it is wrong"

Been to a pet store lately? Looked at the toys? The foods? The OUTFITS?

I have 4 kids outside the womb and one in it. And a dog. We have had bunnies, fish, etc. And yes, when my wife and I got married and were children of the culture we used ABC and referred to that dog as our child. And we were wrong and annoying about it. We were young, we did not know. And I think that is common.

I have always wondered about the dangers of replacing a child with a pet. In the natural order of things you have kids and then you die. But when you substitute a pet in that equation, and treat or think of it like a child, you will most likely see it die, and the next and the next, (Unless you “baby” is a Giant Tortoise) So why do that to yourself?

Pets are Gods gift to us to be companions. And they are great at that. But elevating them to person hood is unhealthy and not intended. And I think many do this.
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Treating a pet as a person also does disservice to the pet. Treating a dog like a baby ignores the dog’s “dogness”.

However, I think most of us, at least.in this forum, know the difference between pets and children.
 
Aggie414 said:
Exactly. I refer to my dogs as my babies – I usually do say furbabies, though.

I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. In my case, I always wanted children; but God had other plans for my life. I’m single, and my “furbabies” are who I talk to when I walk in the door. They’re happy to see me.

Do some people take it too far? Probably. But most if not all of us have some issue that we go overboard on. And as long as what they’re doing is not illegal, immoral, or fattening, what does it really matter?
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Same here. My pets are my family and I always refer to them as my furbabies. I love animals but don’t consider them more (name removed by moderator)ortant then people or replacements. I always felt a great love for animal of any kind and if GOD has gifted me with more prosperity and children I would property have more animals around. I always wanted 2 cats, 2 dogs, a few horses, maybe goats and a cow. Can you tell I spent time on a farm…lol I resign myself to the 2 cats I’m allowed as an apartment dweller…lol
 
I think there are two different issues going on here; its the fact the some people believe that people with pets should not refer to them as babies and people take that as some sort of evidence that people are replacing children with pets and then the slippery slope moves towards that those same people are fornicating and contraception etc.

The other issue that a few posters have hinted towards is that sometimes parents are so busy talking about their tale of woe with whatever parenting thing is going on that they don’t realize that they tend to hog conversation, and either silence or make uncomfortable the people who don’t have children be in because of infertility or just not having them. I can’t tell you how many jobs where that has happened to me. The baby story or anecdote comes out, the entire conversation shifts and then the people who don’t have children are left in that awkward state of not really being in the conversation but not wanting to walk away and seem rude.
 
Miss_Felicity said:
I think there are two different issues going on here; its the fact the some people believe that people with pets should not refer to them as babies and people take that as some sort of evidence that people are replacing children with pets and then the slippery slope moves towards that those same people are fornicating and contraception etc.

The other issue that a few posters have hinted towards is that sometimes parents are so busy talking about their tale of woe with whatever parenting thing is going on that they don’t realize that they tend to hog conversation, and either silence or make uncomfortable the people who don’t have children be in because of infertility or just not having them. I can’t tell you how many jobs where that has happened to me. The baby story or anecdote comes out, the entire conversation shifts and then the people who don’t have children are left in that awkward state of not really being in the conversation but not wanting to walk away and seem rude.
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You are so very right. I agree.
 
Miss_Felicity said:
I think there are two different issues going on here; its the fact the some people believe that people with pets should not refer to them as babies and people take that as some sort of evidence that people are replacing children with pets and then the slippery slope moves towards that those same people are fornicating and contraception etc.

The other issue that a few posters have hinted towards is that sometimes parents are so busy talking about their tale of woe with whatever parenting thing is going on that they don’t realize that they tend to hog conversation, and either silence or make uncomfortable the people who don’t have children be in because of infertility or just not having them. I can’t tell you how many jobs where that has happened to me. The baby story or anecdote comes out, the entire conversation shifts and then the people who don’t have children are left in that awkward state of not really being in the conversation but not wanting to walk away and seem rude.
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Yes, The OP may have mistakenly thought the other person was actually being serious, when they were no such thing. I really doubt that even the most absorbed dog owner would seriously say “I never go to my dog when he cries due to a bad dream, he usually soothes himself” and mean it. It sounds very tongue-in-cheek to me! It is possible that the other person tried to drop some hints that they were not “in” to the baby conversation by making comments about life with their dog, and dropped the final weird comment as a way of breaking through with an un-subtle comment when subtlety is something that has failed.

Having said that, this is not the polite way to deal with someone who is boring you with talk about experiences you have never had and may never have. You have to say something like “that must be very hard for you, but I have no way of knowing and nothing to suggest, because I’ve never had a child myself. Maybe another parent could give you some suggestions.” and then, “Well, as I said, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re way out of my field of knowledge” and so on. IOW, just keep trying to say, “Why are you telling ME this? I have no idea how to approach this topic.* You are talking to yourself*.”

At any rate, I think it would be best if the OP talked about something else other than her child-rearing experiences with this person. It either isn’t a happy topic for them or else they find a parent who bores them with childrearing stories as an “excuse” to bore someone with their over-the-top dog-obsession stories that none of their other friends want to listen to, either.

Find a different topic with this person. I would go so far as to say, “Oh, let’s not talk about dogs and babies–it is all we ever talk about!” You will probably both be happier. (Surely you DO HAVE a different topic, right, OP?)
 
EasterJoy said:
Yes, The OP may have mistakenly thought the other person was actually being serious, when they were no such thing. I really doubt that even the most absorbed dog owner would seriously say “I never go to my dog when he cries due to a bad dream, he usually soothes himself” and mean it. It sounds very tongue-in-cheek to me! It is possible that the other person tried to drop some hints that they were not “in” to the baby conversation by making comments about life with their dog, and dropped the final weird comment as a way of breaking through with an un-subtle comment when subtlety is something that has failed.

Having said that, this is not the polite way to deal with someone who is boring you with talk about experiences you have never had and may never have. You have to say something like “that must be very hard for you, but I have no way of knowing and nothing to suggest, because I’ve never had a child myself. Maybe another parent could give you some suggestions.” and then, “Well, as I said, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re way out of my field of knowledge” and so on. IOW, just keep trying to say, “Why are you telling ME this? I have no idea how to approach this topic.* You are talking to yourself*.”

At any rate, I think it would be best if the OP talked about something else other than her child-rearing experiences with this person. It either isn’t a happy topic for them or else they find a parent who bores them with childrearing stories as an “excuse” to bore someone with their over-the-top dog-obsession stories that none of their other friends want to listen to, either.

Find a different topic with this person. I would go so far as to say, “Oh, let’s not talk about dogs and babies–it is all we ever talk about!” You will probably both be happier. (Surely you DO HAVE a different topic, right, OP?)
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Excellent post!! I have 14 nieces and nephews and most of my friends have kids (I’m also very blessed to have a group of single friends without kids). It would be nice to have a girls’ night where the sole topic of conversation didn’t revolve around kids. I just have very little offer. Plus wouldn’t it be nice to have a conversation that everyone can participate in!! Would also be nice to have a short telephone conversation without having to listen to them carry on a conversation with their child(ren) at the same time, but that’s another topic 🙂
 
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