Petty Parent-Child Issue

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I should be grateful. Working part time and applying for credentials. I applied but haven’t been able to find full time jobs. I never considered retail. I thought since I’m done with my degree I should look for jobs closer to my future occupation. It’s not within my culture for parents to charge rent. It is expected I live at home until married. It’s a cultural difference
 
Jump4Joy said:
I should be grateful. Working part time and applying for credentials. I applied but haven’t been able to find full time jobs. I never considered retail. I thought since I’m done with my degree I should look for jobs closer to my future occupation. It’s not within my culture for parents to charge rent. It is expected I live at home until married. It’s a cultural difference
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If what you want is to live at home until marriage, and your parents don’t charge you any rent, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for your parents to expect you to give them a little money now and then, without paying you back for it. That’s a pretty good deal, provided that you’re okay with the cultural expectations!

If you do wish you made more money, you can always consider a full time job not closely related to your major until you do find one. Many people do this. If your major was not very specialized (like Engineering or Nursing) you may find it difficult to find a full time job directly related to your major without a more advanced degree. I worked for about a year in various positions not really related to my major until I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere I wanted to be without a graduate degree.
 
But, then, this father shouldn’t use the word ‘borrow’ if it’s part of his rules for grown kids living with him. It’s just dishonest! He should say, at the beginning of a week, month, or so, that ‘I expect you to pay such-and-such amount’, and the kids should pay him. He shouldn’t be using his kids as a free checking account! If he finds he needs or wants more, he should either raise the amount, or pay them back. That’s just common courtesy.
And, on a different note: in a culture where an adult child stays home until marriage, shouldn’t some of the young adult’s money be put aside for them, so they’ll have enough to start life upon with their spouse? Whether the parent, child, or a third party or trust handles the money should depend on who’s the best and most honest money manager. Also, on the size of the amount.
In short, courtesy, honesty, and common sense should prevail. It would make things much simpler!
 
OP,
Looking back at your older posts…you said that you live in California, and you lived on your own during college. Now, you say that ‘culturally’ you can’t move out until marriage. Nor can your parents charge you rent!
Why your ethnic background may discourage this, you did it before. Your parents did not disown you, and you’re living in their home.

No, I’m not saying that you’re lying. I’m guessing that you got away from a culture that put a lot of restrictions on you. Obviously, lack of money, and the opportunity to earn enough to support yourself brought you back. If I was in your place, I’d be trying my hardest to get back to the life I led in college. Have you tried living on less? As to the rest of the posters here…we’re obviously not getting the full story.
OP, I’m not trying to get you to say anything you’re uncomfortable sharing. I may have made unfair assumptions in my last post. But, on the chance that what I assumed is true, for yourself and anyone else reading this thread, my advice stands. You seem to be backtracking. I’ve done it myself, and it was a mistake. You had a problem, and people tried to help. They (we?) may have assumed too much. It is obvious that you were bothered by your dad taking advantage of your brother.
So, If I made a mistake, I’m sorry, and, if you choose not to answer, consider any further posts from me as generalizations…to be applied to situations as posted, and not directed at you, personally. God Bless!
 
I live on my own through student housing and the help of financial aid. I live mostly frugally honestly but the cost of living here in high. Where I went to college, the cost of living was significantly less.
 
My current job pays a little more than minimum wage and only offered up to 30hrs a week. It’s a stretch. If I could help more without it drastically affecting my paycheck I would. If I contribute that much I won’t have money to move out. I need a better paying job
 
Trust me this wouldn’t be an issue if I was working more than minimum wage and more than at most 30hrs a week. I need a full time job.
 
I apologize deeply. My father isn’t a monster. I’m just annoyed by borrowing sometimes.
 
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