Pew Pet Peeve

[OraLabora]

For many years I had an undiagnosed health condition that to get up with little or no warning. That’s why I’d sit at an end pew, or book an aisle seat on an airplane.

But for the ultimate in rude: once was on a trip back from Europe and I had paid an extra fee on my discount ticket to reserve an aisle seat just in case. A young rude passenger wanted me to give up my aisle seat and take his middle seat so he could sit next to his girlfriend. I refused and he made quite a stink about it (and made a big show of saying rude things about me in French… it was a flight from Frankfurt… little realizing that French is my mother tongue), but I did say I was willing to swap seats if the other seat was also an aisle seat. Fortunately the flight attendant pitched in and said that I did not have to move if I didn’t want to, and told the guy to return to his assigned seat immediately. Someone did end up swapping and his girlfriend moved next to him and they proceeded to grope each other for the next 7 hours. I felt like saying “what you couldn’t keep your hands off her for a mere 7 hours???” but bit my tongue.

Bottom line some people do have a valid reason for sitting at the end of the pew, whether it is a health condition, maybe a doctor on-call who may have to leave if his or her pager buzzes, someone with a fidgety child, etc. The charitable thing to do is simply assume the best, and move on. As was said, get there earlier if it’s an issue. With my issue I always made sure I got to Mass 1/2 hour early just so I could get an end pew.

In my case my health condition was diagnosed and treated and is now maybe 80% better but I tend to still worry about the remaining 20% which can still cause embarrassing flareups…

 

[CatholicZ09]

If I happen to attend Mass by myself, I usually sit on the end whenever possible. I feel really awkward being by myself and sitting in the middle of the pew. I don’t know why, but I always feel more comfortable on the end. If a person, couple, or family asks to sit with me, then I just slide down as far as possible. I don’t have any problem with it. If I happen not to be lucky enough to get an end seat, then I just say, “Can I with you?” to the person at the end, and then they make room for me to get in. It’s not that hard to do.

 

[Like]

If someone comes in early so that they can sit at the end of the pew, I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to move because you come later. OTOH, they should immediately stand and let you go past them to where there is free seating.

Amen!
And those who arrive late, don’t mind blocking your parking space.

 

[Jeanne_S]

You know what…I sit on the end of the pew…and don’t feel the need to justify it…I get there early. iI will gladly let you through to the inside…but why should I get there early only to find myself looking at the back of someone’s head because someone else got there late:shrug:

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Someone did end up swapping and his girlfriend moved next to him and they proceeded to grope each other for the next 7 hours. I felt like saying “what you couldn’t keep your hands off her for a mere 7 hours???” but bit my tongue.

That sounds like a couple I saw a couple weeks ago. At Mass. It’s the only time I’ve ever refused the sign of peace to anyone. I didn’t want to be rude, but I wasn’t about to shake his hand after seeing where it had just been. They weren’t siting on the aisle, though, so I guess they weren’t all bad.

 

[_Jenn]

My non-Catholic husband usually attends mass with me. Since he does not go up for communion he prefers sitting on one end or the other so that he has to get up only once to let others by.

Same here. It’s just easier for my husband to be on the end where he can get up, and sit right back down only once. However, if we end up in the middle, we end up in the middle and it isn’t a big deal.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

You know what…I sit on the end of the pew…and don’t feel the need to justify it…I get there early. iI will gladly let you through to the inside…but why should I get there early only to find myself looking at the back of someone’s head because someone else got there late:shrug:

:clapping::clapping::yup:

I also get an aisle seat in most airplanes. Should I get a window seat instead, even though I prefer an aisle seat?

 

[Jeanne_S]

How is this situation any different from say,sitting in a theatre? Is someone who finds an end seat being uncharitable by not moving to the center for those coming in late? Also,I don’t know how practical this would be in today’s larger parishes,however,there wasva time when parishioners’ could rent their pew space.It would then be reserved in their name forva particular service.:

 

[odile53]

I really don’t care where I sit in church. I’m going to be there for only a little over an hour. I’m of average height, and since women don’t wear huge hats anymore, it’s not that difficult to see the essentials. I can manage for the space of an hour. It isn’t as if I’m picking out new furniture!

 

[christofirst]

To be perfectly honest, I like the end seat so I can make a quick get-away after Mass. I’m not proud or happy about this, but it is my tendency. Maybe it comes from having spent my life in a very crowded city. The thought of being stuck (for only a few minutes, I know) in the parking lot while others socialize and stroll about really bothers me. Probably the real reason is that I’m not a social butterfly, and I am uncomfortable in crowds. Those without this hang-up will probably not understand. This is my problem, and I will always promptly stand to let others in, or move in to the center of the pew myself, depending on whether or not Mass has already started (I always get there early, another habit of mine).

 

[MissRose73]

It does not bother me where I sit as I normally arrive at Mass with about 10 minutes to spare as I come straight from work. I’ve sat at the ends of pews, I’ve sat in the middle parts and never worried about it. My mother prefers to sit at the end of an aisle as she sometimes is an EMHC and also she has some bladder issues.

 

[Cathryn]

Readers, ushers, and extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, prefer to be on the ends usually. People who feel they may need to use the bathroom, especially as we get older, and people with small children. Also some people who know they are not going up for Holy Communion. There are people who need or want the ends for specific reasons. Most will let late comers step over them to allow access to the empty seats. It is sort of like going to a movie theater, the ones who get there early get the seat they want, the people who come late frequently need to step over to get in.

 

[Cathryn]

Readers, ushers, and extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, prefer to be on the ends usually. People who feel they may need to use the bathroom, especially as we get older, and people with small children. Also some people who know they are not going up for Holy Communion. There are people who need or want the ends for specific reasons. Most will let late comers step over them to allow access to the empty seats. It is sort of like going to a movie theater, the ones who get there early get the seat they want, the people who come late frequently need to step over to get in.

 

[Loboto-Me]

I sit at the end of a pew because I like to sit there. I have no problem moving out of the way to let someone else come in to the pew. I cannot see why anyone would need to vent about people who sit at the end of any pew.

When the venting people come in to the church are there no pews without people sitting at each end? Can that be possible? I doubt it. If the pew you usually sit in has people in it, find another one!! If all the pews have someone sitting at each end, then, clearly you just need to say “excuse me, please” and pass them - either they will stand up and/or move into the aisle to let you pass, or you just move past them anyway. I do not know of any pew that is so narrow that it is absolutely impossible to move past the occupant - either they are sitting or they are kneeling. If they are sitting, you pass in front of them, sideways, if necessary. If they are kneeling, you pass behind them, sideways, if necessary.

What the fuss is all about, i have no idea. It is just not worth all the fussing about. People are entitled to come into the church and sit where it suits them without others griping about where they sit.

This post expresses my feelings exactly!

 

[SeekNFind]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sitting at the end of the pews. It’s my personal preference, but I have no problem getting up to allow someone in.

 

[ProVobis]

If someone is in a state of mortal sin and honoring the sanctity of the blessed sacrament by NOT taking communion then they will often sit near the isle so that they can easily stand and let people past who ARE receiving communion, also making it so much easier for those who’ve received the sacrament to re-enter the pew afterwards.

This is one of the reasons I insist on the aisle seat, if I can get it. Some pews are so configured that it’s almost impossible to sit in the middle and have people move past you.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

Hmmm.My husband likes to sit on the end because,often times he needs to use the restroom(you know that pesky prostrate issue you guys deal with) better than climbing over people.Also,the way I see,we get there twenty minutes before Mass.We should not have to move in to accommodate those who choose to arrive at the last minute.

Hey now…

Catholics with kids do not choose to arrive with seconds to spare…it just happens!
Jesus said to bring them, so we try and try and try to make it easier, but 5 people with 1 bathroom, breakfast for all ending an hour before communion, sock/shoe/pants issues, etc… and its all we can do to get there!! I’m exhausted by the time mass starts.

 

[opus101]

Hey now…

Catholics with kids do not choose to arrive with seconds to spare…it just happens!
Jesus said to bring them, so we try and try and try to make it easier, but 5 people with 1 bathroom, breakfast for all ending an hour before communion, sock/shoe/pants issues, etc… and its all we can do to get there!! I’m exhausted by the time mass starts.

But this doesn’t explain why you should expect someone on the end of the aisle to move to a different spot. I’m sure they will let you in. Like everyone has said, there are often good reasons for someone to be sitting on the end.

 

[andrewstx]

I sit on the outer end toward the back, becuase I am infirm, and I take water pills, it just would not do if I was stuck in the centre.

I don’t want an accident that would embaress everyone.

People need to keep the disabled in mind.

 

[ProVobis]

I’m sure they will let you in. Like everyone has said, there are often good reasons for someone to be sitting on the end.

Whether at a ball game, on an airplane, or in church, it is common courtesy for the aisler to get up and allow others to get into the same row if they so wish.