Hi Kate(name removed by moderator),
Wishing you profound peace of mind and heart. I too struggled with this shortly after high school. I had great anxiety with questions in this philosophical vein. It made my life difficult for a few years, but I have for the most part gotten through it. It pushed me greatly into looking at some great catholic philosophers and gaining a fuller understanding and appreciation for the reasonableness of our faith.
Some thoughts on solipsism: we are casually dependant beings, it is as self-evident as knowing we exist, because we are limited: we exist as beings ever in a state of change and we quite clearly do not know everything. We do not cause ourselves, if we did, we would exist as God does: all at once with no change. Only God can be the casual existence of anything. In other words, you are quite simply philosohpically too limited, by your very nature, to be the solipsist cause of everything. All that exists is not due to us, if you don’t believe this try as hard as you may to consciously create something. No matter how hard you try it will not manifest in objective reality. This is how we know the difference between what happens interiorly (in our imaginations for example) and what happens externally. If this distinction did not exist, the notion of observor and observed, subject and object would not exist. In other words, you couldn’t even ask the question because you would have no reference point as to what reality entailed. The fact that the distinction exists make solipsism absurd.
We can spend so much time driving ourselves anxious with these philosophical ruminations: maybe I’m a brain in a vat, maybe i’m in a matrix, maybe everyone is a robot…it can go on and on. What one has to come to differentiate is what is plausible and what is possible. Many things can be logically possible: the moon is made of cheese for example. Because that statement contains no inherant contradiction. But as to the plausibility of the notion: there are many vast reasons and evidences to suppose it is not so. And thus we have what is known as “good reasoning.” Good reasoning is relying on good reason that your house isn’t about to collapse because the builders made it well, etc. The same good reasoning compels us to believe that there is an external reality, that there are other minds, that God exists, etc. Contrary to some people’s notion, we as Catholics are not fideists (accepting a proposition based entirely on faith). The Catechism quite rightly suggests that we believe in God in both faith and reason. To me faith is related to mystery. A mystery is something we may have some idea of, but not understand entirely. We may not be able to wrap our minds around something entirely, but good reason compels us to make a faithful leaping trust, not a blind one.
Moreover what helped me a lot was focusing on why such things were false, instead of running circles around my head trying to “magically” make an excuse for why any old thing could be true. For example, I could run cirlces in my head all day battling with myself with questions like “I’m not a brain in a vat” BUT maybe I am because of “blah blah blah.” Focus on the reasons why it is silly and less rational and try to leave it at that.
In lieu of all of this, I suggest also a Pascals Wager sort of thinking. You may not be able to have perfect certitude on everything (else you would be God) but you can have good reason to believe solipsism is false and inadequate, that there are other minds, that there is an external reality, etc. If this is the most rational and plausible way to think, and to think otherwise results in a tormented limited life, then choose to act in a way that is most reasonable and results in a more enjoyable life. Trust in your reason and in good reason and give yourself some peace. You will never be God and have perfect certitude of everything, you have to accept that. This does not however mean, that our rational faculties are worthless: they are just limited.
Also, recognize that your way of thinking is anxiety inducing: namely that it works like a vicious cycle: one scary thought produces an anxious feelings which heightens the effect of this thinking and makes for a miserable affair. Try some thought stopping acts. Tell yourself “STOP I’ve already thought this out and I want to live a peaceful reasonable life trusting in good reason and good faith” and do your best to live that way.
Hope this helps,
C
