Physical Affection

[MilesVitae]

As I’ve read various materials on the subject of chastity, I’ve become confused on the subject of physical acts of affection. I’m not referring to things like passionate kissing and the like, but simple kisses, hand-holding, hugs, etc.
The sense I have gotten from certain writers is that these acts ought not to be done unless with some more or less altruistic intention. For instance, a man shouldn’t kiss his girlfriend unless he is doing it so as to express his affection to her.
If this is so, it seems to hinder the possibility of spontaneous affection. It seems to me often people make acts of affection which are not merely reducing the other as a means to an end, nor is done with the intention of expressing to the other one’s affection. It is merely a spontaneous act of affection. Where does this fit in?

 

[MilesVitae]

I guess, basically, certain materials give me an image of chaste marital (and pre-marital) love as rather disinterested and almost Kantian in attitude - I have trouble understanding the role of desire, attraction, and (as already mentioned) spontaneous affection.

 

[loves_the_Truth]

Let’s see if this helps…

Spontaneous affection is still affection. Even if a person is not consciously thinking “I’m going to hold her hand in order to express my affection to her because I love her as a person.” That would make it cold and impersonal. Rather, spontaneous affection that stems from a love for the other person expresses that love without having to think through it completely.

It kind of reminds me of laughing. When you hear something funny, you will laugh without having to think “I am laughing because it’s funny.” If you thought that, it wouldn’t really be funny. Similarly, when a man spontaneously feels affection towards his girlfriend, he chastely kisses her because of this affection but without having to think “I will kiss her because I feel affection towards her.” It wouldn’t be the same if he had to think about it.

Hopefully that makes sense… please excuse me if it doesn’t because I’m running on little sleep. I’ll take a look at it again in the morning after a good night’s sleep

 

[Bookcat]

ewtn.com/expert/answers/dating.htm from a writer at EWTN …it will be of great help!

(One note though on this reading…I would note that when they say “as soon as he begins to enjoy…” Under pure intent… it would mean that the kind of starting to enjoy that starts to happen…before consent…)

No time to read the posts…but that should help…

Iam going to bed

 

[MilesVitae]

It kind of reminds me of laughing. When you hear something funny, you will laugh without having to think “I am laughing because it’s funny.” If you thought that, it wouldn’t really be funny.

lol (literally)