Physically handicapped Catholics

[lwest]

I’ve written to bishops, posted question on the EWTN forum and tried to speak to priests individually about it. I’ve yet to find someone who will discuss this topic with me so I’m trying here: Why is the Church so against the physically handicapped? Catholic schools want nothing to do with them, they can’t marry and they can’t join religious orders. Will someone please explain the logic behind this? Thank you.

 

[st_lucy]

I am not sure what you mean by the church wants nothing to do with the physically handicapped. I know of some schools who have students who are physically handicapped, but some don’t my guess for those that don’t is simply the economical reason of not having the means to properly care for the physically handicapped ie; blind, deaf. But I do know of schools who have the wheelchair bond etc. As for the religious life, I know of both priest and nuns who are physically handicapped and the church loves them just fine. As far as not being able to marry I have never heard of such a thing can you give some examples.

 

[iamrefreshed]

What is that method of fishing called when you cast a lure behind the boat and drive the boat slowly?

 

[lizaanne]

In every single parish I’ve ever attended we have had physically disabled parishoners. Not sure what you are getting at - is it something specific you have experienced that leads you to this assumption?

~Liza

 

[lwest]

marriage of handicapped adults
Question from linda on 04-18-2007:
On another forum, the priest answered that he would discourage a man from marrying a woman with schizoprenia because ‘not everyone is called to marriage.’ Would this same logic apply to those with physical disabilities and, if so, is there a Canon Law that can back up the logic? Thank you for your insight.
Answer by Fr. Robert J. Levis on 04-24-2007:
Linda, If the physical disability would prevent one from fulfilling the ordinary duties of husband or wife, I would not recommend such enter the marriage state. No Canon Law prevents it though. Fr. Bob levis

the above post was from an EWTN forum. Personally, I’ve experienced or have heard of the following:

-was told that there’s a diocesan-wide policy that it’s up to the individual teacher if any accommodations would be made for a handicapped student (accommodations such as allowing the student to sit in front of the class, giving extra time to get from class to class or to do assignments because of hospital stays…). these accommodations would take no extra money, just a little compassion from the teachers. These exact same accommodations were made for a child who had the same disability as my daughter and when questioned why they wouldn’t make them for my daughter, their response was, “We’re Catholic and we can pick and choose who we’re nice to.”

-an accessible bathroom in the basement of a monastery that didn’t have an elevator

-an accessible entrance door at the top of a flight of stairs that had no ramp

-a ‘healing pool’ that was at the bottom of a steep incline that no wheelchair could maneuver.

-a principal who refused a handicapped student, citing insurance concerns.

-promsiing that a ramp would be built to allow my daughter to participate with her CCD class…but there was no ramp, no apology, no explanation, just a shrug of the shoulders and a walking away.

-I attempted to start a support group for the physically disabled but the parish counsel ‘wanted nothing to do with it’. When I obtained permission from the priest, a promise was made to announce it in the newsletter but, of course, no announcement was made and nobody showed up for it.

I’m grateful that this is not the case everywhere and I’ve never been more delighted in being wrong.

 

[fnz2thrght]

Truthfully, my son cannot attend our parish school because they cannot and will not provide accommodations for him. He simply needs a nurse present for insulin and blood sugar checks during the day.

 

[lwest]

…and, what I’m getting at is simply to express the sadness the situations I’ve outlined have caused me and my family and I wonder how many people have left the Church because of poor examples. I’ve heard comments like, “The kids at the Catholic schools were the meanest and the teachers did nothing to protect me.” (from a handicapped adult). As Catholics, shouldn’t we be MORE compassionate, MORE understanding, MORE willing to make everyone willing to live by the True Teachings feel welcome? What saddens me most is that my daughter loves Jesus so much and has expressed a possible interest in joining a religious order. I haven’t told her that it would be an impossibility. It would crush her, perhaps drive her away. That’s all I’m ‘getting at’. Thank you and God Bless.

 

[manualman]

Clearly your anger comes from pain and I can see why.

Unfortunately, I think the causes are many, some legitimate, some base. People have a fallen nature that is often uncomfortable in the presence of suffering or glaring difference. That isn’t a feature of catholicism itself, it is a feature of the flawed humans that make up the membership of the church.

Accessible facilities are often a matter of money, resources and legacy. It is for anybody a tough choice to decide how much limited resources to devote away from the many for the few.

Psychological issues are complex and involve BOTH physical and spiritual matters. I don’t think it is discrimination to counsel people to beware coupling with someone unstable. That surely is tough on those suffering the ailment, but marriage isn’t like blood relations; it is to be chosen carefully!

I wouldn’t tell your child she can’t be a nun. Tell her she needs to grow up first and struggle to become all she can be FIRST. Then watch what can happen.

You’ve got a tough situation and I hope things turn around for you. Don’t let the failures of us puny humans discourage you about the love of God.

 

[blossom02]

I’m sorry about your situation. We have a similar problem with a friend that goes to a nondenomenational church. The family has had to do fund raisers to help the church meet some of the needs of their daughter.

Maybe you could do some of that for your parish so others with handicaps can enjoy the benefits as well. turn your situation into a possitive one.

When my mother had a stroke many years ago she was young and not ready to give up living in the world so she did some of the same things to get the town we lived in more accessible to others in similar need. It is alot of work but you will find that many are really willing to do what they can when they know what is the problem. Many people don’t know that things are difficult or an impossibility until it is pointed out to them.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’ve written to bishops, posted question on the EWTN forum and tried to speak to priests individually about it. I’ve yet to find someone who will discuss this topic with me so I’m trying here: Why is the Church so against the physically handicapped? Catholic schools want nothing to do with them, they can’t marry and they can’t join religious orders. Will someone please explain the logic behind this? Thank you.

I don’t know that any of this is true. Have been involved in various capacities with several Catholic schools, elementary, HS and college all of whom make provision for students with handicaps of all kinds. In our parish school and CCD we have children in wheelchairs, blind, deaf, autistic, CP, and a wide range of learning disabilities and developmental delays. There is no inherent reason a person who is physically handicapped cannot marry, as long as they can perform the marriage act. There are some religious orders that cannot accommodate some handicaps due to the nature of their work, but many more who do accept candidates with disabilities. Far from being “against handicapped persons” The US bishops have addressed your issues in special letters and bulletins available on their website, and canon law insists that every possible effort must be made to bring all Catholics to the sacraments and make provision for those with special needs in preparing for them.

Do you have some factual evidence to support your claim? yes there may very well be some Catholic schools that cannot afford special facilities to properly educate a child with certain handicaps, and some people who cannot marry under canon or natural law for a variety of reasons, only some of which relate to a physical handicap. Other than that, your blanket generalization hardly holds water.

complaints about one parish, one school, one monastery hardly add up to THE CATHOLIC CHURCH hates the handicapped.

 

[lwest]

I’m glad that you’ve been witness to an entirely different attitude toward the handicapped and, as I’ve said in a a previous post, I’ve very delighted to have been incorrect. However, let me stress that I am not a liar and don’t appreciate being accused of being one. For factual evidence, would you like the names of the parishes and monastery I am referring to? I’d be happy to list them here for all to see and check out themselves. Let me know if that will suffice as ‘factual evidence’ for you.

 

[puzzleannie]

I did not call you a liar, I said to point out an example of one parish or one school and use it to label the entire Catholic Church is a huge stretch. Why not ask why you and your family were subject to such inconsideration and lack of Christian charity in your experience, and explore ways to educate other Catholics especially those in your area who are guilty of these slights, rather than asking the global question in the way OP does? when you wrote to the bishops (you don’t say which bishops) did they send you a copy of their pastoral letter on this topic, which as I note you can obtain from their website? I don’t see an instance in your OP regarding marriage for handicapped or any evidence of discrimination.

 

[lwest]

I wrote a letter to the Bishop at the Joliet, IL, diocese and I also called his office. I was told at that time (when I called the Bishop’s office) about each teacher being able to decide if they’re willing to make any accommodations. I never received a response to my letter. I gave a copy of the letter to the local priest along with a statement by the Holy Father about the disabled (or handicapped as my daughter prefers to call it). His response was to roll his eyes and yell at me about all my documentation being ‘overkill’ (when he was the one who said I should write everything down). So we started homeschooling and we’re happy with it. I think that was just God’s will for us. Maybe I shouldn’t have made such a generalization but when I consistently encounter shabby experiences and hear of other kids going through similar things, it’s easy to do so. We’ve tried ‘educating’ people but what I’ve learned is that alot of people (not ALL) disregard such efforts. And, for the record, you didn’t come out and call me a liar but you did say (and I quote) “I don’t know if any of this is true”…then you asked for factual evidence thus implying that I am making it all up. I’ve also heard of similar complaints in the Chicago Archdiocese. One such story is when researching CCD programs, a parish in the Chicago Archdiocese said that a child would automatically flunk CCD if he/she misses more then 3 days of CCD for the entire year. No exceptions. Since my kid’s in the hospital so much, that parish’s program wasn’t an option. It’s all true, every bit of it. If you really want to see how accepting a place is for the handicapped, rent a wheelchair and spend the day in one. I guarantee your eyes will be open. But it is refreshing to hear that there are different experiences out there.

 

[lwest]

I’m sorry about your situation. We have a similar problem with a friend that goes to a nondenomenational church. The family has had to do fund raisers to help the church meet some of the needs of their daughter.

Maybe you could do some of that for your parish so others with handicaps can enjoy the benefits as well. turn your situation into a possitive one.

When my mother had a stroke many years ago she was young and not ready to give up living in the world so she did some of the same things to get the town we lived in more accessible to others in similar need. It is alot of work but you will find that many are really willing to do what they can when they know what is the problem. Many people don’t know that things are difficult or an impossibility until it is pointed out to them.

 

[lwest]

That’s a good idea for maybe the future. Any fundraisers at the moment would have to be for a ramp or wheelchair life to our front door. My daughter can walk a little with crutches but when she’s sick, a ramp or lift is going to be necessary because we can’t carry her much longer (I can’t carry her at all anymore). But it’s a good thought. Thanks.

 

[Sheeniac]

I just sent you a PM. I live in the Joliet diocese. Pls let me know if I can help you because I know some of the people at my parish office pretty well.

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding of some sort.

As you know, we have a new Bishop now - perhaps things got shuffled about with Bishop Sartain coming in.

 

[lwest]

I just sent you a PM. I live in the Joliet diocese. Pls let me know if I can help you because I know some of the people at my parish office pretty well.

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding of some sort.

As you know, we have a new Bishop now - perhaps things got shuffled about with Bishop Sartain coming in.

I responded privately…thanks. I love your quote by Archbishop Fulton Sheen!

 

[lizaanne]

Truthfully, my son cannot attend our parish school because they cannot and will not provide accommodations for him. He simply needs a nurse present for insulin and blood sugar checks during the day.

I’m sorry for the struggles you must have to live with daily.

I’m trying to understand though - would you expect the school/parish to pay the cost of having a nurse there for your son? I can’t imagine too many schools anywhere that could afford that for one child.

~Liza

 

[lwest]

I’m kind of jumping in here, hope that’s ok…and I agree that it’s unreasonable to expect every single parish school to employ a full-time nurse. But could there be one nurse that travels between 4 or 5 schools? Some public school districts do this. It seems that would be a worthwhile cost because otherwise, Catholic schools can easily give the impression that unless you’re physically fit, you don’t ‘deserve’ a Catholic education. And I also realize that some medical conditions would need too specialized a care that could be offered in CatholicLand but I know there can be more acceptance and accommodations than are done now.

 

[drafdog]

We’'re real good at getting the policy statement right, but not so good at implementation.

Matthew