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mVitus
Guest
We still need a Gospel reading. So dive into fantasy and hope they’re a David Eddings fan with The Malloreon Gospels. (A background text for one of his worlds.)
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2towers
Guest
Maybe they can have a memorial service elsewhere, and have a simple Catholic graveside service. Johnny Cash wont be able to come out for that.
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Phemie
Guest
No graveside service, they are taking the ashes back to their cabin (read, getaway in the woods) to bury them there, after the niece convinced them that the Church doesn’t allow ashes to be scattered (the original plan).
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Loud-living-dogma
Guest
Gah - - is that technically allowed? At a private home in (probably) an unmarked grave? http://www.catholicnews.com/service...-releases-instruction-on-burial-cremation.cfm
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ShowersofRoses
Guest
No, ashes are supposed to be buried on sacred ground, like at a blessed cemetery. Technically I think a priest could bless the ground at the cabin, but that’s probably not gonna happen. Also, the ashes should have a permanent marker placed with the name of the deceased so he is not forgotten.
Quoted from the article above:
Placing the ashes in a sacred place also “prevents the faithful departed from being forgotten or their remains from being shown a lack of respect,” which is more likely to happen as time goes on and the people closest to the deceased also pass way, the instruction said.
Quoted from the article above:
Placing the ashes in a sacred place also “prevents the faithful departed from being forgotten or their remains from being shown a lack of respect,” which is more likely to happen as time goes on and the people closest to the deceased also pass way, the instruction said.
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Phemie
Guest
You have to realize that they are going to do what they are going to do and there’s not much the parish can do about it. We’ve had parishioners scatter their loved ones’ ashes because that’s what the deceased wanted. They were simply asked not to publicize it since there was no way to stop it.
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
Would you prefer “The Devil Came Back To Georgia”?
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Phemie
Guest
Personally, I don’t think the material out of which the casket is made is our business. I shake my head at the thought of spending all that money on something that will be put in the ground to rot. There was something to be said about sewing the body into a shroud and burying it that way.
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OraLabora
Guest
Our schola once sang at the funeral of a former monk. He had to leave the monastery to run the family business when nobody else in the family could. He kept his monastic values. Never married, recited the Office daily, and did his duty with the family business (I forget what it was). At his funeral, the pallbearers walked in with a rough plywood casket.
I’ve told my kids, who are good with their hands, that when I die I want them to nail together some old plywood and put me into the ground in it.
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Augustinian
Guest
I can’t see how the material the coffin is made of changes the funeral at all.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I have told my family that I want a plain wooden coffin, and have found a monastery that makes them. While it still costs something, it is way less than a funeral home charges, and the money goes to the monastery. They also make wooden boxes for ashes that can be buried.
The point for me was not that it costs less, though that us a plus. I have always felt that most caskets are just too lavish. In a way, I feel undeserving of such a fancy “ending.”
The point for me was not that it costs less, though that us a plus. I have always felt that most caskets are just too lavish. In a way, I feel undeserving of such a fancy “ending.”
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Phemie
Guest
Well, it’s over and it went very well. They opted for no eulogy or slide show.
They got readings from Maccabees, Paul, John, and the 23rd Psalm.
The entrance hymn was “Be Not Afraid”, a standard in these parts, and the two women who lead the choir sang “Songs of the Angels” when the urn was incensed.
The last song was “Beyond the Rain”, which is sung at many funerals. It would probably not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s a faith filled song. It was sung by two of his friends.
All in all I think the family left the church not upset by what the liturgy that had been done. And if that’s the best I can get, I’ll be happy.
They got readings from Maccabees, Paul, John, and the 23rd Psalm.
The entrance hymn was “Be Not Afraid”, a standard in these parts, and the two women who lead the choir sang “Songs of the Angels” when the urn was incensed.
The last song was “Beyond the Rain”, which is sung at many funerals. It would probably not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s a faith filled song. It was sung by two of his friends.
All in all I think the family left the church not upset by what the liturgy that had been done. And if that’s the best I can get, I’ll be happy.
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Irishmom2
Guest
For you Phemie for all of your help in steering the family toward the right thing.
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Dlee
Guest
And I know how this has been weighing on you! Blessing on your persistence for the sake of Christ.
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oldgraymare2
Guest
The whole time I’ve been reading this thread, I’ve had the song going through my head.Pup7:
I know, right? It didn’t really hit me at first, it was just when I was telling my husband about it that it suddenly hit me that “I fell into a burning ring of fire; I went down, down, down, the flames went higher…” at a funeral might be saying what you think of the deceased. “What the hell are they thinking?” I said to my husband. “Hell is the appropriate word here,” was his reply.I’ve read the whole thread and the one thing that is really bugging me is how anyone can think that, of all the Johnny Cash songs one could choose (and he did do some hymns), one wants “Ring of Fire” as a funeral recessional.
:neutral_face:neutral_face:neutral_face:
There was a fiasco for my Dad’s funeral, due to my non-practicing sister being involved, and keeping me out of the arrangements. Long story.
Anyway, I hope that this can all be worked out, and that they’ll honor the arrangements that you and the niece are making.
I think that in situations like these, the family want to honor the deceased but at the same time, they want to honor them in their own way, because they don’t understand what it is to be a practicing Catholic, and what should be done in a Catholic funeral.
That was what it was like in my own family with my Dad and my sister and her family.
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OraLabora
Guest
Because this is the “it’s all about me” generation.
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Augustinian
Guest
Some people might think you are bluffing them, and the rules offer more flexibility than they do.
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Phemie
Guest
Most of the time they think the person meeting with them is making up the rules. In our case the family thought the niece was making things up to get her own way. It was only when they were presented with a 3 page document from the parish outlining exactly how things were to be done at a funeral that they accepted that wasn’t so.
It’s the same way with many other things in this age when adults have not been well catechized. As an example, let’s look at the couple in my parish whose first child actually has no “godparents” because the priest had assumed that Catholics would know that godparents had to be Catholic and hadn’t asked a question that 50 years ago wouldn’t have needed asking. When they presented to have their second child baptized they were offended when told that they couldn’t have two non-Catholics as godparents. They left and didn’t come back to have him baptized until 4 years later when I happened to publish the Canon on who could be godparents in the parish bulletin. They were at the door the next day asking to have him baptized because they had seen that Sr. who’d met with them originally hadn’t just pulled that rule out of thin air to be unfair to them.
It’s the same way with many other things in this age when adults have not been well catechized. As an example, let’s look at the couple in my parish whose first child actually has no “godparents” because the priest had assumed that Catholics would know that godparents had to be Catholic and hadn’t asked a question that 50 years ago wouldn’t have needed asking. When they presented to have their second child baptized they were offended when told that they couldn’t have two non-Catholics as godparents. They left and didn’t come back to have him baptized until 4 years later when I happened to publish the Canon on who could be godparents in the parish bulletin. They were at the door the next day asking to have him baptized because they had seen that Sr. who’d met with them originally hadn’t just pulled that rule out of thin air to be unfair to them.
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