Planning Trip to Parents' House in a Few Months - and avoiding Minefields

[Xantippe]

Yup. That’s my dad. He loves the idea of being a doting, loving father and grandfather, but he’s never really been able to put it together.

I know two of that kind of grandpa.

Grandpa #1 is actually very doting, but he’s also got a lot of issues (sensory, etc.) so there’s only so many kids and so long that he’s able to cope with. Theoretically, he likes the idea of large families, but we once had to rearrange a visit because Grandma #1 figured (correctly) that he wouldn’t be able to deal with all three of our kids in the house at the same time. He can just barely deal with two school age kids in the house at the same time, but he’s really very good with one at a time.

Grandpa #2 loves the idea of being a grandpa and loves hearing about his grandkids’ achievements on the phone, loves talking about academics, and is pretty good on road trips (which has only happened twice), but when he’s home, his default is to crash on the sofa after work and watch FOX until he’s semi-comatose. Grandpa #2 has recently gotten better with a local grandson after a lot of drama, but for many years, Grandpa #2 believed that he could just be handed a relationship with his grandkids on a silver platter, rather than understanding that you get in roughly what you put in.

Best wishes!

 

[kosull2]

Sounds like we share parents haha. I agree completely with the hotel suggestion. That way you can take your family out to do stuff and not feel guilty/bad that your parents/siblings are staying behind.

I hate to admit it, but the condition of their house and obsession with the tv is why I don’t visit as often as I would like nor do I stay long unless we are outside then I will stay for several hours. I recently moved so instead of being 25 minutes away I am an hour away so short visits feel like a waste of time but with my mother’s hearing and mental health situation it is better than trying to call and visit that way.