Playing piano for Mass again

[Cat]

Back in March, I had major surgery to repair my ankle after a broken posterior tibial tendon. I spent twelve weeks off work at home, and a lot of that time was spent on CAF.

During that time, I got into several disturbing (to me) discussions about music and Mass. At one point, I was so upset that I was considering never playing at Mass again.

You see, I was born and raised evangelical Protestant, and I play piano “gospel” style. I am a very good pianist, and if the song is classical, I will adapt and play the proper style. But I play hymns and songs with a lively style.

I got the impression from quite a few people on this Board that “lounge lizards” like me aren’t welcome in a reverent Mass.

I also had quite a few discussions about the (hiss, boo!) St. Louis Jesuits (I may as well say “creeping slime”). Haugen and Haas have been beaten up by many posters on CAF; if the beatings were physical, these men would be dead by now.

Since March, I had a perfect excuse not to play at Mass because of my ankle.

But on Thursday, I got a phone call from our music minister asking if I could substitute for him for the Saturday Vigil Mass. I agreed, in fear and trembling.

When I sat down to play, I was literally shaking, I was so scared. My heart was beating and my face was hot (I usually don’t get nervous when I play).

I pictured people in the congregation hissing at me, saying, things like, “Liberal. Protestant. Irreverent. Lounge lizard. Improper. And she’s wearing slacks instead of a skirt.”

(BTW, at this point, I can’t picture myself ever wearing a dress again. I have to wear ugly orthopedic shoes and orthotics to help hold my ankle together. I can’t imagine a skirt that would look pretty with these clodhoppers.)

We did two traditional hymns, two Haugen songs, and the Mass of Remembrance, which is a Haugen composition. The Alleluia was a Gregorian chant. The cantor was a teenaged girl with a very sweet, clear voice.

I played a contemporary contemplative P and W song for a Prelude–I would describe it as melodic, restorative, and majestic. It definitely made people hush up their chatter and pay attention.

I played a traditional hymn for a Postlude.

And then I waited for the bashing, the reprimands, the cold looks, and turned-away faces.

Instead, I was showered with love and thanks. Quite a few people, most of them elderly, came up to me and expressed their appreciation of my music and their gladness that I was back after my surgery. One lady introduced herself as the music minister from another parish, visiting our church. She complimented me for what she called “solid accompaniment” that makes it easy and pleasant for people to sing with.

One lady told me that she loved the liveliness of the music. “Mass music SHOULD have some life!” she said.

My husband even received compliments and was told to pass them on to me!

Now don’t the get the wrong idea. I know that the talent I have is a gift from God, and that all those compliments belong to HIM, not me. Like Corrie Ten Boom, I like to pretend that they are flowers, and afterward, gather them up into a bouquet and offer it up to the Lord.

But to me, these dear people were like a soothing ointment applied to a very sore place.

I’ve said it before on this Board, and I’ll say it again–I live in the BEST diocese in the U.S., and I think I am a member of one of the BEST parishes in the U.S. The Lord certainly knew where to locate me and my husband, didn’t He?

I’m sure there were people in that Mass who probably walked out with a critical spirit, wondering who invited the “happy clappy” pianist to Mass. But I got the feeling that most of the people in that Mass were there to worship “in spirit and in truth,” and were grateful for all that they received from the musicians, the lector, and the dear priest, who, bless his heart, really doesn’t speak intelligible English at all. These parishioners left with soft hearts full of Jesus, and today, are carrying Him to a very dark and needy world.

I really don’t have a point to this thread, other than to say, “I’m glad to be back playing for My Lord, My Lady, and my Christian brothers and sisters at Holy Mass again.” He has healed me and continues to heal me. Bless the Lord!

 

[chicago]

Very well put!

 

[agapewolf]

AMEN Cat!!!

I am a music director at a church too, and I have some of that same experience. The song styles you mention is what actually touches the heart…yes, we ARE emotional people, and why not let that praise God too? This is the stuff that gets me the comments of appreciation. (I too offer them up to God…it is about His praise, not mine). But those comments help me gauge what is hitting home with people. I never get positive comments on doing chant.

ANyway, welcome back,.

 

[VAC]

Praise God!!! :clapping: :clapping: You’re playing again. I also started to wonder if the crowd were going to start bringing in rotten eggs to throw at me, and if I and my guitar and children’s choir would be thrown out and a paid organist brought in after reading many of those same threads.
I beleive what we are doing is a calling. We aren’t in it for the popularity, or the money, (I’m a volunteer) sometimes it’s full of challenges… but who better to struggle and suffer for!!!:extrahappy:

 

[MusicMan]

I’m glad to hear you’re back in the proverbial saddle again. I’ve but three suggestions for you:

1.) Make sure the music you select fits the rubrics of the liturgy and the texts are in line with Catholic doctrine (as much as you are able).

2.) Lead the musical worship in your parish in a way that facilitates their musical worship. Do what is best for your parish.

3.) Don’t get worked up over what is discussed here. Learn how to better achieve #1 from here, but when what you see here begins to trouble you, always refer back to #2.

Sounds to me like you do these things. That makes you good at your vocation. Bless you!

 

[Sarabande]

I’m glad to hear you’re back in the proverbial saddle again. I’ve but three suggestions for you:

1.) Make sure the music you select fits the rubrics of the liturgy and the texts are in line with Catholic doctrine (as much as you are able).

2.) Lead the musical worship in your parish in a way that facilitates their musical worship. Do what is best for your parish.

3.) Don’t get worked up over what is discussed here. Learn how to better achieve #1 from here, but when what you see here begins to trouble you, always refer back to #2.

Sounds to me like you do these things. That makes you good at your vocation. Bless you!

I agree with all of this. On these forums, we are just having discussions on what we believe or know to be the perfect prayer for us. If someone can’t abide by the music that I perform, that’s fine with me. I’m a very emotional musician as well, but I’ve learn in the secular area of my performing and auditioning to have a thick skin and a very tender heart. And the thick skin is NOT, “Well, who cares what they think. Screw them.” It’s more, “I’m very comfortable with what I do for God and with my talent. I love what I’m doing and as long as it is my ultimate prayer to God, that is all that matters. If I’m not appreciated somewhere, then so be it. I can always find some other place where I will be appreciated.”

I think some musicians who play mostly in church venues do not develop that thick skin to even be able to have debates about music with other musicians without getting their feelings hurt and angry, and that is now understandable to me. I discovered this after being on these boards and at first couldn’t understand why some did appear to get personally offended by things. Most of my colleagues that I deal with personally work in both the Church and secular worlds, but mostly in the secular arena. So we’ve all been there, especially in the audition circuits, master classes, etc., and thus can debate our differences without getting overly emotional about it because we all know we are coming at it from different intellectual trains of thoughts. I’ve since learned on these boards at least, you can’t do that with some of the people on here.

That aside… I think it’s wonderful that you’re “back in the saddle” and that you are being appreciated where you are. And I think you are giving a good mix of everything in terms of the music liturgy. I know how horrible it is when you can’t play or sing because of an illness or other impediment. It’s like a part of your soul is dead or asleep for a while. God bless!!!

 

[Joysong]

Cat, good for you!

People can be utterly cruel, trying to refashion the world and the church according to their own minds. I like these words from St. Ignatius Loyola from Spiritual Exercises.

When the devil raises savage opposition, say to him, “I did not begin this for your sake, and I will not stop because you object to it.”

Keep up God’s work!

Carole

 

[Cat]

I don’t select the music. The music minister (a paid church staff member) selects the music, Psalm, Alleluia, the Mass parts, etc…

The only time I switch the hymns/songs is if the cantor doesn’t know them and can’t seem to learn them quickly in the five or ten minutes before Mass. Then we ask Father if we can substitute a different hymn/song.

Sometimes if we are doing Mass parts that the cantor doesn’t know, I will ask if we can switch to the good old Mass of Creation, which everyone seems to know.

But I am just the piano player. Thank God.