Please, a caring Catholic read this and give help me...i dont know where else to turn

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hi, first off i’d like to tell a little about myself before i discuss the problem at hand; and how I was led into it…

I’m and 16-yearold male and ive always been a faithful catholic…but with my weaknesses and times of failure…

I was raised a Roman Catholic and for the most part…up until recently… i think… ive led a morally correct life.

Charity, Responsibility, ect… all accept one which I have the hardest time conquering this time around.

About four months ago i think i gave into the temptation of ‘impurities with myself’ as i prefer to call it…I knew it was wrong and immediate remorse came and i felt worse than i ever have felt in all my life.

After praying and crying to God for forgiveness I had not confessed it because i had not the chance to…or i didnt try hard enough to get that chance…i cannot drive and i would never have the heart to tell my mom…“mom I may have a mortal sin on my soul and I need to get rid of it”

My mom has been a devout catholic all her life and she is probably one of the most holy people i know…anyway continuing on…I couldn’t get to confession but i said my act of contrition with the guilt in my throat and knowing i needed to go to confession i finally convinced myself it doesnt matter and that i would get around to it…

So I staying in the state of sin trying my hardest…after having once experienced it to stop…but i grew weak again and fell into sin thinking in my head, “Stop! dont do this!” but then there’s another voice telling trying to convince me, “it doesnt matter, why should God care if you are doing this…”, “why is it evil anyway…just because the church says so?”, “i see nothing wrong with it…” and so i fell into a longer period…still feeling remorse and crying numerous times and making what i thought to be a solid resolution.

Anyway it continued on and i finally got to confession…i confessed my sins before father right before mass…but i hadnt remembered to confess the sin of sacrilidge which it to recieve communion in the state of mortal sin…and although some preists consider it venial i have to go with what i was taught in catechism…anyway after a while i did it again and the same cycle happened i managed to put it to the minimum ive ever had…getting it down to almost once a week…but I still knew it was wrong and no matter what i try i fall into sin again…

I know its wrong, and i feel the guilt all the time…

So i made a plan recently…something that worked very well up until resently…almost made it through two weeks…

I’m a very sensative person and you could call me very unique but not many people know that much about me.

I developed a chart to sort of…measure my impurites and purity days…every day i resisted temptation i filled in 1% for purity, expecting not to have to fill in any impurities because i am overly confident that my will is stronger than it really is.

i avoided television…and the computer and it seemed to be working… to fall into temptation again would require some more explaining but lets see what people have to say about my situation so far.

Please i need someone out there to help me…I feel as if God has forgiven me too many times and i keep letting him down and it hurts me to know that I could ever do that to Him
 
well first off my father and mother have a firewall up blocking a lot of things…which i am greatful for…just another barrier between me and hell…that link is blocked.
 
Go to the Moral Theology forum (this one you are posting in). At the top is that same thread. You should be able to access it from there.
 
You need to get yourself a good spiritual director…stay close to the sacrament of confession…and TRUST that God is stronger than the sin.
He told us that some demons are cast out only with prayer and fasting…so pray and fast.
Try to cultivate a devotion to Mary, St. Philomena or some other saint to help you on your spiritual journey.
My mom always told me that idle hands are the devils work shop…when you wake up…get up. This is the advice of saints.
Try to stay busy with the Lord…He WILL help you…
My personal favorite is St. Philomena…she is awesome!

You are in my prayers…
 
Please i need someone out there to help me…I feel as if God has forgiven me too many times and i keep letting him down and it hurts me to know that I could ever do that to Him
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Dear heart, it’s not possible to tire God out! How many times must we forgive? 70 times 7! Our Lord said this. There is no limit to His forgiveness. You are only 16. Imagine those of us who are in our 50’s! Imagine how many times we have sinned and begged forgiveness. I have never felt the Lord would run out of mercy.

You sound very remorseful and earnest. God knows this and is very pleased. Your desire to overcome this is what He sees.

Might I suggest you not obsess too much with the charts and keeping track. Perhaps distracting yourself with other activities (especially physical activity) would be more helpful. God bless you!
 
You are by far not the only person who struggles with this. You’re not alone. It’s especially difficult for males at your age. I would suggest praying to the Blessed Mother and St. Agnes of Rome for strength in purity. Pray to the Holy Spirit for strength, and when you feel tempted, replace the act with something else, go outside for a walk, or pray a rosary. Many people see nothing wrong with this sin these days - it’s clear that you love God just by the remorse you feel. I’ll pray for you.
 
Hello,

You sound so sincere; and to bare your soul, as you have, took much courage, I’m sure. Feel good about your strong desire to follow God so clearly. You will be rewarded. You are recognizing this as a sin, while so many in society do not. So God is pleased with the clarity of your conscience and your many efforts. God also understands, more than any of us, how difficult this sin can be for some.

The suggestions posted by others are all good ideas. Distraction and an immediate decision to get up and do something else is very important. Choose things that can get it out of your mind, at least for a while. Go to the bathroom. Pray the rosary as you are falling asleep. Use a simple plastic rosary that you can fall asleep with, not worrying that it’ll break as you keep it in your hands. Do go to confession frequently. Do confess that you went to communion - you’ll feel better and then start fresh again.

If you do choose to have a spiritual advisor, they absolutely understand this sin. And, your parents only need to know that you want to meet regularly with him(I would suggest a man, priest or deacon, for you) in order to strengthen your faith and relationship with God. Perhaps your parents would be very willing to drive you to those meetings. If the spiritual advisor is a priest, each meeting could include confession.

I remember, before I could drive, and actually even after I could drive but someone else was using the kids’ shared car, I rode my bike to confession on Saturday afternoons. That may be possible, depending on how close your parish is. Or, you could walk, or for those who are runners, they can jog to the church for their daily run.

Another thought, if this occurs while you are asleep or partially asleep, you are not as fully responsible or able to clearly choose whether to do this or not. This factor can affect the degree of the sin. And, it will not be a sin at all if you are absolutely asleep and really have no control over it.

Keep active, busy, exercise, leave little time as to when this could occur. Be around other family members, don’t spend too much time alone.

God bless you. I will keep you in my prayers. You are to be commended for seeking the truth. This can be a struggle for some, for many years. So do not feel that you are alone in this. I say this only so that you don’t feel too discouraged if it is not overcome quickly. Don’t give up. God honors people’s efforts. St. Augustine struggled for many years with living an impure life. His mother, St. Monica, prayed for years for him. He finally was able to change and as you know, he is an amazing saint. David, in the Old Testament, committed adultery and yet he sought God’s forgiveness and God still chose him to be a wonderful leader.

Mother Teresa once said that God doesn’t ask us to be successful, He asks that we try. So, we all work hard for the truth, we don’t always succeed all the time. Be proud of your small successes.

God bless you and your family.
 
Based on what you said about her I recommend that you do not underestimate your mother. All adolescents go through such trials, and in today’s day and age it is much harder than when I was growing up.
You do not need to tell her exactly what you’ve done, but you can let her know you’re struggling. She will be more than happy to bring you to the sacraments to help you.
One of my daughters was quite young when she discovered you-know-what. She had no idea it was a problem, but when she told me I explained the sin to her, as much as her age could understand. I also told her that whenever she felt tempted to do that again that she could come to me and we would snuggle on the couch and pray together. You could ask one of your parents the same thing and I’m sure they would help.
God keep you.
 
In the interest of full disclosure, let me tell you that when I converted to Catholicism, this was one of the hardest hurdles for me (and by “this” I assume we’re talking about self-gratification, as it were). And this admission coming from a 30 year old wife and mother! I was raised in a climate where this wasn’t a sin, it was a normal, healthy expression of one’s God-given sexuality, and anyone who said differently was obviously an idiot.

So from personal experience, I can tell you that it was this area where the Enemy knew I was weakest. All the thoughts that you wrote about, I had too. All the guilt and self-loathing, I had too! Then I realized that Satan knew my heart was trying to move towards God, and so he put those feelings of self-hatred and dispair into my heart to try and make me fall. His grip on me in that area was being attacked, and he stepped up the pressure.

This is not a battle of the physical. This is a spiritual battle, and you need to have spiritual weapons. I second the poster who suggested falling asleep with a rosary. I also suggest putting a holy card or some image of Our Lady by your bed. If you have access to blessed salt or holy water, use them! Bless yourself before bed and put the salt in the corners of your room. It may seem that this is just something that you’re struggling with because you’re “weak”, but this is, at it’s heart, a spiritual battle. Just look at today’s society. Most of us would agree that there is a shocking amount of sexualization in today’s culture. By rooting out your own participation in this mentality, you’re making the Devil mad. Good!

With the unending grace of God and the prayers of Our Lady, I overcame my addiction. I will pray for you, that you’re strengthened in your spiritual battle.

Cheers,
Cari
 
I recall many years ago reading a book by one of the men who was a POW in Hanoi (I believe it was “When Hell Was in Session” by Jeremia Denton). In it he recalled the situation that faced the men when they failed to live up to the military Code of Conduct, succumbed to enemy torture, and gave away details about their missions, themselves, or others.

To men who prized honor as highly as they did, this personal failure was terribly depressing to the point that some even attempted suicide. What they finally realized was that the proper response to this failure was not to automatically submit the next time but to require the enemy to break them again. They realized that perfection was not required of them, that if they resisted as long as they could each time, they could live with themselves. Eventually, when the torture stopped, they still had their dignity.

Ender
 
Hello and Welcome!

From Pure Love Club.com (in case you the site is blocked by your firewall);):
Q. I have formed a real habit of masturbation and don’t know how to stop. What’s the best way to overcome this?
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A. Prayer and patient perseverance. As you begin the battle, know that God is pleased with your desire for holiness and that his grace is working in your life. He will complete the good work he has begun in you (Phil. 1:6). Come to him in prayer and ask him often for the grace to be pure, and specifically to overcome this habit. The number one prayer you can offer is the holy sacrifice of the Mass. There is enough grace in one Communion to make you a saint. Tap into that fountain of purity!
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Spend an increased amount of time in personal prayer as well, and speak openly to Jesus about your struggles. Also, pray the Hail Mary three times each day for purity of mind, body, and heart; frequent the sacrament of reconciliation; read Scripture; pray the rosary; make the Stations of the Cross; and develop a devotion to St. Joseph. These form an arsenal of weapons against any sin. Use them often, and you will eventually be able to overcome any vice.
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If you need to confess the same sin repeatedly, do so. The devil will try to discourage you, saying, “Hey, you’ve been back in the confessional so many times with this sin. Why don’t you give up? You can’t win.” Recognize these thoughts as a temptation and turn immediately to prayer. Know that the patient is healed who shows his wound to the physician. The confessional is the medicine box, Christ in the priest is the doctor, and that is the last place the devil wants you to be. You are on the winning team, and the Lord will not let you be snatched from his hand. You can not do it alone, but you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Phil. 4:13).
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Certainly, if you own any pornography, swimsuit posters, vulgar music, and such, get rid of them immediately. For the sake of love, guard yourself against such contamination. Replace these things with good Christian music and put holy images in your room, especially where you usually fall into the sin. If you have a habit of watching a lot of television, find something else to do, such as exercise. This helps release tension and makes the body easier to master. Television is idleness filled with temptation, and that is kindling for the fires of lust.
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To help you grow in discipline, set reachable goals. For example, make a commitment not to masturbate for three days, a week, a month, or whatever you feel is a reasonable time. When you have made it to that point, you will have an increased sense of confidence that you do have control over your body. Then, bump up the time and abstain for a longer period. Keep this up until the vice is overcome, and it ceases to be an option.
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During this time of discipline, give up tiny things. For example, skip salt on your fries, or skip seconds at a meal. These small sacrifices will help you grow in self-mastery, so that you gain self-control. After all, we are slaves to whatever rules us. The difference is like that between a jockey who has no control over his horse which gallops wildly through gardens and living rooms, and a jockey who has control and can win races and stop on a dime. That is a person fully alive. This kind of self-control is impossible alone, but with the grace of God, all things are possible. If you ask for purity, not one grace will be lacking. Be patient with yourself and do not give in to discouragement. The prize of true love awaits those that are truly free, because they are the ones capable of giving and receiving.
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God bless you!

Kelly:thumbsup:
 
Amen to all the advice you’ve obtained already from others. All I can do is add my strong endorsement to the use of prayer, especially the Rosary. I have found it to be such a strong weapon against temptation! I’ve had much struggle myself with this particular sin. All the good intentions you have to avoid temptation are holy, indeed, but these days it’s hard to even walk down the street, especially in a large city such as where I live, without seeing immodest clothing and having those impure thoughts sneak back into my head. And the way some people dress for Mass is also very disturbing. But ultimately it’s up to us to control ourselves, no matter what the temptation may be.

So, keep a Rosary handy at all times! Whenever the idea of engaging in the sin starts to work on you, reach for your Rosary and ask Mary and Jesus to help you. In the end you will prevail.
 
Kelly
St Joesph, mother Mary or anyother dead saint cannot help you confession to a priest cannot help these are not what it takes it takes a heart knowledge of Jesus and nothing else especially Hail Mary is not the answer she is dead and cannot help anyone
 
preacherman said:
Kelly
St Joesph, mother Mary or anyother dead saint cannot help you confession to a priest cannot help these are not what it takes it takes a heart knowledge of Jesus and nothing else especially Hail Mary is not the answer she is dead and cannot help anyone
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Do you have any constructive advice, or just this drivel?
 
Constructive advise coming Kelly Lean on the God and his son not dead people who cannot help you
 
AnonymousPrayer said:
Please i need someone out there to help me…I feel as if God has forgiven me too many times and i keep letting him down and it hurts me to know that I could ever do that to Him.
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Be assured that God loves you very, very much, and is ready to forgive you as many times as you need it. Not to give you a license to sin, but so that whenever you fail, you can always feel free to return to Him.

As to the situation itself - you are a young man and this is a normal temptation that comes to all young men. There is no doubt that your mother is already aware of this fact, so you need not be embarrassed simply to let her know that you want to go to Confession at the next available opportunity. (If she asks what for, just tell her, “Because I did something that I need to be sorry for,” and leave it at that.)

(This is also an incentive for you to learn how to drive the car yourself, because then all you have to say is, “Mom, I need to borrow the car for half an hour to go down to the Church,” and you can get yourself to Confession whenever you need to go.)
 
Check out True Knights and head to the forum there. You will find people that are going through the same things you are and who can help you and who are also faithful to the Church. I will pray for you my brother.
 
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