PLEASE answer this question about confession

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My wife and I had a civil marriage almost 10 years ago. We are having a mass/ convalidation on the 12th of November. When I set this up with our Priest 2 months ago, I asked if I could receive communion if I went to confession and agreed to live as brother and sister until the wedding. HE said that was OK. Well on wednesday, I went to daily mass at a chapel near where I work. I asked the Priest if he had time for a confession and he said sure. I started out with my background since I didn’t know him. As soon as I said my marriage was not yet valid, he said he couldn’t hear my confession until it was valid. I didn’t even have a chance to explain the brother and sister thing, he just said I couldn’t participate in any sacrament, including confession until my marriage was valid. I thought I could always go to confession. Who is right?
 
Can. 843 §1. Sacred ministers cannot deny the sacraments to those who seek them at appropriate times, are properly disposed, and are not prohibited by law from receiving them.
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Can. 980 If the confessor has no doubt about the disposition of the penitent, and the penitent seeks absolution, absolution is to be neither refused nor deferred.
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Your Bishop would be able to explain it.

🙂
 
What about contacting the priest you had met with earlier? Perhaps he, understanding your circumstances and where you are in the process, would hear your confession.
 
I think you must receive absolution before receiving any other sacraments, e.g. matrimony.
 
I guess it didn’t occur to him that you and your wife were being so good and obedient. By accounts, not all couples manage to accept that grace.

God bless you.
I rejoice for you that your time of waiting is almost over! Less than three weeks left!:harp:
 
This priest doesn’t know you. If a penitent is insistent in their sin, he can’t be forgiven. The priest near your work was doing what he believed to be correct. Since you have already spoken with your pastor, simply arrange to have him hear your confession sometime in the next few weeks.
 
Trishie said:
I guess it didn’t occur to him that you and your wife were being so good and obedient. By accounts, not all couples manage to accept that grace.

God bless you.
I rejoice for you that your time of waiting is almost over! Less than three weeks left!:harp:
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Well, before you give me all that praise, that is why I needed to go to confession, because we slipped and were not obedient. We are being good now again despite slipping. 10 year habits are hard to break.
I guess my main question is in what circumstance, other than not being a baptized Catholic, are you not permitted to receive the sacrament of confession? I didn’t know this existed.

Mrs. Sally makes a good point, If he didn’t know I was scheduled to be married, he may think that I was just going to go home to my invalid marriage and continue on living in sin and therefore not hear my confession. I guess I was just taken aback with how quick he cut me short and rushed me out of there.
 
I think the priest should have heard you out. I think you are in the right.
 
jps23430 said:
My, he said he couldn’t hear my confession until it was valid. I didn’t even have a chance to explain the brother and sister thing, he just said I couldn’t participate in any sacrament, including confession until my marriage was valid. I thought I could always go to confession. Who is right?
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in this case it would have been better to always confess to the priest who knows your situation, and unrealistic to expect another priest to know it without an explanation. It is a rather complex matter and takes time to explain, time that is not always available.

Baptism is open to all unbaptized persons who request it (or whose parents request it in the case of an infant) and who show the disposition to live the Catholic faith. The other sacraments of initiation–confirmation and Eucharist–, as well as matrimony and holy orders, require that the candidate be in the state of sanctifying grace to receive them. That means sacramental confession and absolution of all mortal sins of which the candidate is aware, which implies a sincere effort to seek instruction on what constitutes sin and absolution.

A person who is able to confess should do so before the sacrament of anointing of the sick, but if he is unable to do so that sacrament absolves all sin. Obviously penance does not require one to be in the state of grace, but absolution must be deferred or denied if the one confessing expresses no contrition and no intention to stop the sinful state, action or condition.

One of the common situations that keeps Catholics from enjoying the state of sanctifying grace is entering into an invalid marriage, so that must be rectified before they can approach the sacraments.
 
puzzleannie said:
in this case it would have been better to always confess to the priest who knows your situation, and unrealistic to expect another priest to know it without an explanation. It is a rather complex matter and takes time to explain, time that is not always available.
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This is correct. You should be confession and receiving spiritual direction in this matter . The pastoral and logical choice is the original priest.He is the one who needs to know if you are capable of maintaining this arrangement or you need to do something different.
 
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