Please help a new Catholic out: Was my confession valid?

[kenna]

Hi everyone, I need some advice as I was recently confirmed at the Easter Vigil so I’m still new. I went to confession face-to-face with my priest before confirmation and I felt that it was a good experience doing it that way because my priest and I had a nice chat and he walked me through it since it was my first time. That was about a month ago and I recently became aware of sins that I need to confess so today I went to confession before mass. It was the behind the curtain kind (not sure what that’s called). Anyway, I was unsure of what exactly to say or if I was going through the steps correctly. I said my sins and the priest honestly seemed unwilling to give me any guidance even when I told him I had only been to confession once. I only had a couple of things That I was aware I needed to confess and he was asking for more…I guess he expected more sins over the past month. Of course I stumbled through it (didn’t even say the act of contrition although afterwards he assigned me that as penance). He gave me absolution and that was that. My question is: should I make an appointment to do face to face confession with my usual priest since I feel like I didn’t do it right this time? Or am I just being too worried? I’m worried that my confession didn’t count since maybe I didn’t follow all of the usual steps. It bothered me so much that I didn’t go up to receive communion during mass afterwards.
I think in the future I will try to just do face-to-face confession since today honestly felt so rushed like a drive-thru…

 

[Entwhistler]

Confessions can sometimes feel dissatisfying. But the only things that are necessary are you saying your sins, your sorrow for those sins, the priest reciting the absolution and you saying your penance. Finished. You are all good.

 

[kenna]

Okay, thank you. I don’t even think I said the part about being sorry for my sins during the confession but I did confess them as sins so does that count? Am I thinking about this too much?

 

[HomeschoolDad]

You did just fine, do not worry about it. It was the priest’s responsibility to help you make a good confession. It will get easier as you go along and make more confessions. Once a month is not too often.

I prefer behind the curtain (or screen, or whatever) personally, but if you prefer face to face, that is fine too. One is just as good as the other.

Sounds like you’re in good shape. Your confession was valid. You did nothing to keep you from being able to receive communion.

 

[Entwhistler]

You don’t have to physically say you are sorry. It is something from the heart just as it was, no doubt when you pronounced your sins to the priest. I would worry about it.

 

[Dlee]

I still take my pamphlet in with me - I want to make sure I get the prayer of contrition correct!

 

[Peeps]

I always say my own prayer of contrition.

 

[nightshade]

The pamphlet of Examination of Conscience for Adults and Teens by the Fathers of Mercy is really good. It has a very thorough examination and the steps and prayers associated with confession and the act of contrition.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

The pamphlet of Examination of Conscience for Adults and Teens by the Fathers of Mercy

I use this one too. It is excellent. I’ve also used the EWTN guide as well, but I don’t like it as much.

 

[Edmundus1581]

Confessions can sometimes feel dissatisfying. But the only things that are necessary are you saying your sins, your sorrow for those sins, the priest reciting the absolution and you saying your penance. Finished. You are all good.

Yes.

Just nitpicking, even the last, ie. saying your penance, is not required for the confession. When the absolution is said the confession is finished. The priest has accepted your confession, ruled it valid (that is part of his duty in the confessional) and completed it with the absolution. One is in a state of grace and can receive communion. From there, one is obliged to complete the penance, but failure to do so does not invalidate that confession. If the failure is deliberate or negligent then one has incurred a new sin to be confessed next time.

The confessional is more God’s mercy reaching to us, through the instrument of the priest, than us carefully completing a “process” to merit it.

 

[awesomecatholic]

It’s perfectly OK to stumble through my confession, I was a complete mess during some of my previous ones and it was quite humiliating. Since the priest absolved you, you said your penance and you were sorry, your confession was valid. Confession can feel dissatisfying, I’ve felt that myself. It is the priests responsibility to help you and he didn’t, so don’t beat yourself up over it. If you feel like you need advice, you might want to talk to your parish priest.

 

[Anne1964]

When I first returned to the Church I took an index card with me to confession on which I had written the parts I needed to say:

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned it has been xxx (how long) since my last confession. These are my sins:…”

When I finish with my confession I say “I’m sorry for these sins and any I may have forgotten.”

Act of Contrition…

I carried this card with me for years. To this day, some 13 years later I still occasionally forget half of the Act of Contrition.

It is ok and you are fine. As long as the priest gave you absolution your sins are forgiven.

 

[Joe_5859]

I think in the future I will try to just do face-to-face confession since today honestly felt so rushed like a drive-thru…

As others have said, your Confession still “counts” even if it was a flustering experience for you.

I am guessing that when you made your 1st Confession, it was at a special time set aside for those being Confirmed at Easter, is that correct? If so, that is likely why the mood was much more relaxed and less rushed.

On a typical Saturday afternoon, many priests will move through Confessions more quickly just in the interest of being able to hear everyone’s Confession. If everyone takes 5 minutes, they can only hear 12 Confessions in an hour. At my parish, there are always more than 12 people.

If you feel you would benefit from going face-to-face in a more relaxed atmosphere (which I can totally understand seeing as how this is new for you), I would encourage you to try making an appointment with the priest for Confession at some other time during the week. Then you won’t have to worry about time constraints.

God bless!