Please....help! I cannot take any more

[banffslovechild]

I live with my parents while I save enough money to take my cats and move out; but living with them is, for me, the worst thing in my life and has been one of the biggest issues in my life for a very long time; they ruin who I am, and who God made me to be. I find the light He has put in me, is barely but a dim glow, for I cannot be who I am with them. I try to be a good Christian, I pray and I try to do well, but in their presence I find it a direct uphill climb, and myself failing more often than succeeding, as my behaviour as a reaction to them as an example, and am constantly upset, frusterated, and disappointed more by my behaviour then by theirs. I hope that you can offer some guidance on the situation, as it has finally reached it’s highest, or lowest, however you care to look at it, point. I just cannot go further in this way. Any advice that you can give me would be great.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Knowing nothing about it other than that you live with your parents and wish you didn’t, and that perhaps you feel they are negative influences on you, one cannot really give you advice other than to move out as soon as possible.

I will pray for you, though.

 

[terrysa]

You need to pray. I know it sounds too easy, and its probably the most difficult thing for you to do in an atmosphere rife with tension, but it is the only way you will see God’s plan for you. And He has a plan for you - of this I have no doubt. It sounds like He has already brought you so far, to recognize the Light, and to recognize your weakness. Don’t focus on this weakness, however. It is easy to get discouraged when we focus on our own weakness. (I speak from experience!) We need to focus on Him who loves us. He only wants us to keep trying. He doesn’t worry about our failures, He can make all things new! He is always the Saviour, who came to heal the sick, not those already well.

I want to share with you an article that helped me, by Matthew Kelly, who is a Catholic motivational speaker. It is called “Classroom of Silence” and it is found on the website: www.catholicdestinations.com (search for Matthew Kelly in the Articles by Author section.)

I will include you in my prayers and I will especially pray to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance and all the graces you need for your faith journey.

May God continue to bless you! Rest in His Love!

 

[the_phoenix]

Praying for you from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions

Blessings to Christ Emmanuel, conceived and born of the Virgin Mary. We address our prayers to him:

• Son of the Virgin Mary, hear us.

You granted to Mary the joy of motherhood:
give all parents true joy in their children.
King and peace-bringer, your reign is justice and peace:
grant that we may work for peace.
You came to consecrate the human race as God’s holy people:
bring all peoples together in harmony.
By being born you took on the bonds of family:
let each family live in unity.
You chose to be born into time with us:
may the deceased be born into eternity with you.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

First thought was - are your expectations too high for how much money you need to have saved to move out? Assuming you have a steady income, consider if there is a way to add to that, or consider if there are ways you can cut your budget down a bit so you can move out sooner.

Second thought - I have difficulty with my parents too. I live close to them, and there are many perks to this, but they (especially my mother) push my buttons, and I can struggle with being the person I can and should be, when I feel stifled by my parents. While you are working hard as you can to move out, start taking note of the things your parents do to push your buttons. Figure out what specifically happens to make you either get upset or behave badly. Then pay attention to how you typically react to them whey they push your buttons. Once you have started to see the patterns, try to change them. React differently than the usual way. Maybe that means taking a deep breath and counting to ten before saying anything. Maybe it means praying a Hail Mary every time your button gets pushed. Maybe it means leaving the room, or finding something to do outside of the house (even just a walk around the block) to give you a little more separation.

 

[monicatholic]

banff,
why do you live with your parents? how old are you?

 

[banffslovechild]

Thank you so much to everyone who already have provided me with advice; your support (through your advice and prayers) are very much appreciated, and simply reminds me again the beauty in people, especially those who share my faith. And I will say now, thank you to those who will share advice after this post. Gid bless.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

One other suggestion. Pray first thing in the morning. Give yourself 5-20 minutes, depending on what’s possible. Do a morning offering. Spend some time reflecting on what your day holds for you, and ask God to help you do what He wants to to do that day. Reflect on the specific things you’ll need to do - like be kind to your mother instead of snapping at her, and ask God to help you with those. If you have time, pray the rosary, or read the bible. Starting your day out in prayer can make a big difference in how the entire day goes.

 

[dianaballein]

Thank you so much to everyone who already have provided me with advice; your support (through your advice and prayers) are very much appreciated, and simply reminds me again the beauty in people, especially those who share my faith. And I will say now, thank you to those who will share advice after this post. Gid bless.

I am in the process of conversion. I remember my RCIA Director telling me that I will be attacked from all sides by Satan…obstacles will appear…things will happen to try and sway me from my journey. Prayer keeps me strong as I make my way. Lower your expectations about where you want to move, and move. Blessings.

 

[Salonika]

I live with my parents while I save enough money to take my cats and move out; but living with them is, for me, the worst thing in my life and has been one of the biggest issues in my life for a very long time; they ruin who I am, and who God made me to be.

It’s hard to make suggestions without knowing a bit more about you - particularly whether you are young person who hasn’t lived away from your parents or whether you are back at home after a gap of living away from them - either on your own or with others.

Just because our parents are our parents doesn’t mean that we and they have the same personality characteristics or the same beliefs. If we are very different from them, then sometimes it’s fine to spend some time together but long-term it can get very difficult.

Also if you have moved back home your parents may be making a similar transition which complicates things even further.

I have the sneaking suspicion that the comment that is often made that (some) parents have difficulty seeing their adult children as autonomous adults until they are married with children of their own is true or partially true. We are seen in some ways as stuck in adolescence even if we are 30, 40 or 50 plus.

Maybe too a child with a spouse is in a better situation as conversations with parents then are two pairs talking to each other. One can think and the other talk.

Also some parents have more difficulty in accepting if we do not follow them in important things eg politics and religion. Living in that situation is not easy. Sometimes the best thing is to agree to differ and not talk about it. But that is easier if you are only seeing your parents for a short time not living with them.

Please take anything that’s relevant to you from my post and discard the rest!

Remember too your cats deserve a tension-free home.