Please help! Marriage issues!

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Camtho

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I ended up eloping at the courthouse and without knowledge learned it was a mortal sin. I had a priest tell me I can be excommunicated. I wish I could go back in time I change my situation, I had no idea that it would be this serious. I just wanted to get the legal stuff out of the way first.

My fiance was wanting to be catholic amd was even filing for annulment wolith the church. I cant get ahold of any priest, im so scared.
Is there a way to undo this or some sorta way out of this?? Help!!!
 
Camtho said:
I ended up eloping at the courthouse and without knowledge learned it was a mortal sin
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…That what was a mortal sin? I´m sorry, but it´s a bit hard to understand what happened in your post.
 
Although it’s inappropriate and you should have known better, how is that a mortal sin that leads to your potential excommunication, if you genuinely did not know that it was wrong and a sin, of which you also repent at the moment?

Please let somebody with good knowledge of the Canon Law explain it.
 
A mortal sin to be mortal require knowledge of being a mortal sin and that if you knew, then that you would have done it anyway. I doubt the excommunication bit considering your circumstance.

As far as I know, this can be easily rectified by getting the Church to bless the marriage, but my guess is you’ll have to do the engage encounter, etc.
 
Camtho said:
I ended up eloping at the courthouse and without knowledge learned it was a mortal sin. I had a priest tell me I can be excommunicated. I wish I could go back in time I change my situation, I had no idea that it would be this serious. I just wanted to get the legal stuff out of the way first.

My fiance was wanting to be catholic amd was even filing for annulment wolith the church. I cant get ahold of any priest, im so scared.
Is there a way to undo this or some sorta way out of this?? Help!!!
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Catholics have the responsibility to keep themselves educated on matters of faith and morals. So if this is not done, it is a attitude of indifference to what is morally correct, which is sinful. When a civil marriage is obtained by a Catholic, then there is no sacrament of marriage. It is necessary to obtain a convalidation, which makes it a valid marriage. Canon law (CIC):
SIMPLE CONVALIDATION
Can. 1156 §1. To convalidate a marriage which is invalid because of a diriment impediment, it is required that the impediment ceases or is dispensed and that at least the party conscious of the impediment renews consent.
§2. Ecclesiastical law requires this renewal for the validity of the convalidation even if each party gave consent at the beginning and did not revoke it afterwards.
…
Can. 1160 A marriage which is null because of defect of form must be contracted anew in canonical form in order to become valid, without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 1127, §2.
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It sounds like you were interested in marrying a divorced person with a living spouse. This person was interested in obtaining a decree of nullity and converting to Catholicism. Instead, you contracted a civil marriage. Is this correct?

The civil marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church. Consult your pastor. What you need to do is go back to step one. File for the decree of nullity; and then, if successful, marry in the Church.
 
Camtho said:
I had a priest tell me I can be excommunicated
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A priest told you that?
Marriage outside the church is not an excommunicate-able offense.
Why can’t you both just get the marriage blessed?
 
It was wrong of you to try to circumvent the annulment process.

Your civil marriage is not valid. In the eye of the church your fiancé is still married. Since you are not in the “marriage state” (so to speak) any sexual relations between the two of you is not permissible. And it would be adulterous since your fiancé is still married (in the eye of the church). This would be mortally sinful.

You have to wait until the annulment process is complete. Then you’ll need to convalidate your marriage. No sex before this.
 
This is actually quite simple to deal with. It’s essentially a three-step process. But first, we need to clarify some terms.

“Excommunication” is a specific term. It’s often times thrown around rather loosely. But, rest assured, marrying outside of the Church Is NOT excommunicable. What was probably said is that you should “refrain from receiving Communion until this situation is rectified,” or something along those lines. “Excommunication” is not the same as “not being able to receive the sacraments.”

When someone says “have your marriage blessed,” what he or she means is to have what’s known as a convalidation. They’re quite common. I do them all the time. We’ll get there in a minute.

Ok…here are the steps.
  1. Your wife needs to get her first marriage annulled. The only way she can do this is to go to a Catholic Church and speak with someone. This will probably be a priest, but could be a deacon or even a lay person, depending on the parish. This process could be rather easy, or could be more involved. The only way you’ll know is to speak with someone.
After step one is done, your wife will be free to enter into marriage with you. Right now, the Church assumes her first marriage is her valid (read “real”) marriage. Until that is proven otherwise through the annulment process, she is not free to enter into marriage in the Catholic Church.
  1. Step two is to go through the marriage preparation process at your local parish. Different parishes and dioceses will have different requirements for the two of you. Speak with your local priest or deacon.
  2. Third and finally, you will be married in the Catholic Church. Again, the technical term for this is “convalidation.” Most people colloquially say “have your marriage blessed.”
Until then, follow the wise advice of others and refrain from sexual relations, as you are not married to this woman. I’ve been using the word “wife” for the sake of simplicity. But, in truth, she’s not your wife. If the two of you abstain from sex, and live “as brother and sister,” there is no reason you could not receive the sacraments. I know and have worked with many couples in this exact boat who live a vibrant sacramental life while things are getting sorted out.
 
First take a deep breath.
Pray to God.
Contact your parish priest.
Explain what happened.
Everything can be made correct.
We in this message board support you with our prayers!
 
Camtho said:
I ended up eloping at the courthouse and without knowledge learned it was a mortal sin
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Catholics need to marry in Catholic form or have a dispensation from form to marry elsewhere. Catholics also need to go through premarital preparation with their pastor. Eloping is never a good idea, if by eloping you mean married in haste.

As to being “mortal sin”. It is grave matter. Mortal sin requires that you know it’s grave matter and do it anyway. You did not.
Camtho said:
I had a priest tell me I can be excommunicated.
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Not sure why a priest would tell you that as it is not true.
Camtho said:
My fiance was wanting to be catholic amd was even filing for annulment wolith the church
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If your fiancé was married previously, she was NOT free to marry you. She does need to continue down the path of having her first marriage addressed if you want to marry validly in the Church.
Camtho said:
I cant get ahold of any priest, im so scared.
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I am not sure why you are scared. It will take time, but these things can be rectified. The biggest impediment is that she has a prior marriage.
Camtho said:
Is there a way to undo this or some sorta way out of this?? Help!!!
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Make an appointment with your pastor. He will guide you.
 
The process is actually called “Convalidation”.

Each Diocese has a process for Convalidation, in the US googling the name of your Diocese should give you their website. For example, if you live in the Diocese of Dallas, you can begin here: Marriage Preparation
 
I’m going to venture that the priest said “you cannot receive communion”. Yes, living in an irregular marriage does put one in a state of “excommunication”, simply that you have to rectify some things to be in a state of grace.
 
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Is it that you simply started living with a married women and now you want some solution?
The simple solution is to leave her and confess for the mortal sin for having sex with her.But if you both want to marry, wait for the long and tedious procedure of divorce of the earlier marriage and till such time live as a Christian man and women not yet married.
Any how ,don’t expect the church to offer you some quick fix solution for the irresponsible and sinful action you committed.
 
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