Please help me discern this

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I know this post is long, but bear with me, please.

I am a “revert”, having discovered the Faith for myself after many years in the desert. When I returned I resolved to live according to the Will of God, and to heck with what anybody thought. Even if it meant shaving my head and selling flowers at the airport.

On the one hand, I am attracted by the Traditionalist view, most of which I agree with, especially considering the area I came from with a bishop that openly supports liturgical abuse, and “alternative lifestyles”, and gets away with it. When we came to the midwest, we found a large Traditonalist movement here. The problem with this movement is that many proponents are so zealous about their POV, that anyone not part of their group is “modernist” and living for Satan. This goes right down to women wearing pants, and even to eating non-organic foods, acc. to some. (One lady remarked she was concerned she was committing a sin by buying veggies from the grocery store). They are vehement in their criticism and condemn those that go outside their rules.

On the other hand, I have experienced the charismatic movement. While some groups tend to be a bit too “liberal”, (I would call it loose), the people are loving toward others, and do not seem to harbor the seething resentment I sense in the above group. What is more, there are groups that are orthodox but carry a charismatic zeal and tone. They tend to be positive and uplifting.

My husband and I value balance. We long for the reverence and order of the Traditionalist POV, and the warmth and vibrance of the charismatic POV. We are now discerning a way to completely give our lives over to God in a radical way. I feel that both movements have merit, but both have their problems, too.

Are we on the right track, here? My husband thinks I am analyzing it too much and should just relax. But, how conservative is too conservative? Is wearing a dress all the time, and a veil to Mass overkill? Does it really matter that much in the scheme of things? Is taking Communion in the hand a sacrelige? I cannot decide. Is there anyone out there with similar feelings, and, what did you decide?
 
I would reccomend reading the catechism of the catholic church

www.vatican.va

You can search for the issues you are concerned with and it will present the official view on the topic, not too liberal or conservative.
 
I am a “revert”, having discovered the Faith for myself after many years in the desert. When I returned I resolved to live according to the Will of God, and to heck with what anybody thought. Even if it meant shaving my head and selling flowers at the airport.
I am a revert as well. Congrats on your return! I understand the zeal and hopefully it will keep you on fire for a good, long time!
On the one hand, I am attracted by the Traditionalist view, most of which I agree with, especially considering the area I came from with a bishop that openly supports liturgical abuse, and “alternative lifestyles”, and gets away with it. When we came to the midwest, we found a large Traditonalist movement here. The problem with this movement is that many proponents are so zealous about their POV, that anyone not part of their group is “modernist” and living for Satan. This goes right down to women wearing pants, and even to eating non-organic foods, acc. to some. (One lady remarked she was concerned she was committing a sin by buying veggies from the grocery store). They are vehement in their criticism and condemn those that go outside their rules.
People may hold their own opinions regarding clothing, food consumption, and grocery shopping. The important thing for you to remember is that their personal opinions are not binding and certainly not supported or opposed by Catholic teaching. The RCC has no “position” on produce or fashion. In much the same way, the Church takes no official position on hand-holding during the Our Father, hence it is not an abuse. Annoying? Yes. Abuse? No. Unless these folks are actively pressuring you and your family to conform to their somewhat fundamentalist interpretations of Catholic life, I would ignore it and partipate in the beauty of the Traditional Liturgy.
But, how conservative is too conservative? Is wearing a dress all the time, and a veil to Mass overkill? Does it really matter that much in the scheme of things? Is taking Communion in the hand a sacrelige? I cannot decide. Is there anyone out there with similar feelings, and, what did you decide?
Again, how people dress and eat are matters of personal preference and not issues of faith and morals. If the women feel compelled to dress like Quakers, more power to them! You are not obligated, as a Catholic, to follow their style counsel.

Talking Communion in the hand is most definately not a sacrilege. If they have told you this, they are wrong and for me, that would be a big, red flag. They would be spreading error.

I did have a similar experience when I returned. I attended the Latin Mass downtown the first year I came back and while I appreciated it’s sublime reverence, it did not speak to me as the NO does. I’ve spent the last three years combing this city for a faithful Parish that does not innovate, allows for the changes of VII without the embellishments, recognizes the sacredness of the Mass, adheres to all Church teaching, wears it “Catholicity” with pride, and represents all the Truth and beauty that is our Church. I did find one that meets all the criteria, so it is possible. Sad that it took so long and was such a struggle but this, unfortunately seems to be the state of the Church in America today.

God bless and good luck!
 
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