Please help me figure this out?

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Struggling1

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I’m really struggling. I have been trying so hard to believe in God. I have read and watched countless documenteries, I have read so many forums and personal testaments, I’ve read about praying and being more, I’ve tried to read scripture, I have begged for the intercession of saints, I have sought the advice of priests and I so struggle. I hear stories about people getting the signs they need that God exists and I can’t have even one sign when I ask for it. I know the standard response is God answers in his own time and way and the answer is no sometimes but just once couldn’t he meet me halfway? I’m sorry for asking so many questions and making so many posts but I’m struggling. Is it just I need to pray more? I know we are supposed to believe on faith but I am really struggling. Every miracle seems disproveable by science and it’s so frightening to me. I want God to exist so drastically!
 
It probably isn’t that you need to pray more. Sounds to me like you’re doing everything you can think of, praying, seeing priests, documentaries, forums, saints…I bet you’ve read countless accounts of miracles, too.

I can’t make you believe, no one can. Even God wouldn’t force you to believe in Him. Faith is a choice.

My advice to you…you’re probably going to hate this, but it’s persevere. Don’t give up. And give yourself a break from trying to prove the existence of God to yourself. Get up in the morning, and say to yourself “For today at least, I will believe in Him. Today, He loves me and is interested in all I do.” Then talk to Him like an old friend, all day. Such a practice works best over time. It can be sooo frustrating, waiting to feel, wanting to believe! But it takes time.

One more thing that might help. This worked for someone else, maybe it’ll help you too. When you go to do your prayers tomorrow, just say one Our Father. Slowly. Meditate on one line at a time. It should take quite a while. I find it beautiful and it changed the life of the one who suggested it to me. Anyway, give it a shot 🙂

May the dear Lord bless and keep you!
 
Didn’t you say on another thread you were pretty sure you had a sign just yesterday or a couple days ago?

Miracles that are approved by the Church are, trust me, not “disprovable” by science. What may be are incomplete understandings of the miracles. For instance. Trying to say St Padre Pio faked his stigmata with needles and chemicals. This ignores the fact that we was watched during his lifetime to see if he was making them, the sweet scent that came from them as opposed to the chemicals, and the bloody fact that he was a great saint, a holy soul, who also had a ton of other miracles happen around him.
 
Yes I did but I can’t stop doubt my mind immediately jumps to oh could be coincidence which is so horrible because I’m sure God is trying so hard and here I am being horrid. That’s true I didn’t think about that! I need to pray for the intercession of St. Padre Pio maybe St. Anthony and St. Jude to find faith and for lost causes.
 
We all walk a labyrinth darkened by doubt, fear, suffering and loneliness. It is the path of the cross. But the journey is the only way to move more deeply into the mystery of faith. We must learn to walk without clearly seeing, touch without fully grasping, listen without fully comprehending. For the light that guides us is at times faint. Yet, it is only in its flickering that we catch a glimpse of the path ahead. Such is the nature of faith.
 
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I don’t think you’re a lost cause!

But, you say you have no signs, you want Him to meet you half way, but He is. Most likely much more than half way.
I mean not to make you feel bad. We all can be very oblivious or do bad to God. He understands all things.
Pray to Him, “Oh God, I believe. Help my disbelief.”

But, as I have said before to you, I really think you already believe. Who would spend so much time praying to a God they don’t believe in?
But, I feel I understand. Don’t overdo yourself with prayers if you are to overdo yourself. If you can, go ahead, of course.

I have a question. Are these doubts just like intrusive thoughts? If so I think I can relate somewhat. It gets tiring beating down your thoughts with arguments all the time. Mentally draining. But, we are not our stray thoughts and doubts.

Let me ask you another question, a very important one. Define, “believe”. What does it mean to you?
 
That’s the problem I need to know God exists definitely and I think he may! But it’s not definitive and that is so hard and the fact I can’t touch him with my five senses. I’m so terrified of dying and having him not exist. I’ve been in basically a 3 week panic attack over it. The question of what I define as belief I think is skewed I have severe doubts in my heart and in mind that won’t ever stop. I could be praying and a little voice goes but what if he isn’t real. And then it goes well you haven’t used your senses and there’s no science. That’s why by all accounts he should be furious at me.
 
Struggling1 said:
I’m sure God is trying so hard
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You do believe!! 😇

Faith is a gift. You can’t take it by force. God has to give this gift to you.

Just ask him, “God, please give me the gift of Faith!”

He wants to give it to you. Just ask 😊
 
I know and that’s the problem and why I’m so frustrated at myself! I don’t know how to feel differently in this situation.
 
TheOldColonel said:
We all walk a labyrinth darkened by doubt, fear, suffering and loneliness. It is the path of the cross. But the journey is the only way to move more deeply into the mystery of faith. We must learn to walk without clearly seeing, touch without fully grasping, listen without fully comprehending. For the light that guides us is at times faint. Yet, it is only in its flickering that we catch a glimpse of the path ahead. Such is the nature of faith.
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Thank you for this post @TheOldColonel . . . an apposite reminder for me personally at this present time , and most eloquently put.

God Bless.
 
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What’s funny is I’m trying will I mean I tried to force it but my mind always goes what if. Maybe I just need to persevere and keep praying.
 
You are spot on. I forget that the same burden of proof lies with atheism and they can’t definitively prove that either. I should trust that God is the option and resign my will. I’ll pray to surrender.
 
Brittany said:
I think you need to realize that we will always ask “what if,” and that question shouldn’t keep us from believing. There is always a “what if.” Even in atheism, there are “what ifs.”. . .
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Amen. If we didn’t have “what if” to a certain extent , we would probably become complacent.

And even when we are sure of God’s existence, the "what if’"s do not necessarily end, as biblically evidenced when Abraham engaged in some of the best what if 's ever:

Genesis 18:22-33
 
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Thank you for all the help these past few days I’m sorry to burden everyone please know I take this all to heart and am trying. I’ll say prays for everyone!
 
Please read this: http://www.stgemmagalgani.com/2008/11/diary-of-st-gemma-july-1900.html?m=1

If you find it interesting you can buy the kindle version for 99 cents. Best book I’ve ever read and helped me tremendously. Make sure to look carefully into St. Gemma’s personality, her humility and obedience. That is an example of faith. It was also said by her confessor that she reached the last stage of the spiritual life before her death.
 
But you don’t need 100% certainty to give Him a chance.

You do believe, you just have this idea you need to be 100% sure that it’s right. But are you really 100% sure on anything you take for granted? You are not sure you will wake up tomorrow, or that you’re talking to another person. The latter is pretty sure to be true, but not 100%. I could be a machine automated secretly on the website. I am not, of course, but you see my point?

Speak with your pastor about this, including your reception of the Sacraments. I think you should be taking them, personally, but I am not your pastor.

When the voice comes, double down on your prayer. The same thoughts can come to me, but I usually just shake it off or think of how ridiculous denying Him really is from all I have gathered.
 
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