Please help me, I am lost right now

[tinkerbell81]

Please help me.

I have lost my way over the years.

Recently, a loved one had a very close call. I have not been able to pick up the pieces and move on from the shock. I have found myself questioning and fearing death. Fearing it to the point of total consumption. This person is my grandfather, a devout Catholic of whom I have always looked up to and admired. My heart aches with sorrow at the very thought of losing him or my grandmother. I feel very lost, and the only thing I keep feeling is that I need to speak to a priest about this. I’m scared for him, what if when life ends it just ends…what if I never get to see him again? These worries have disabled my ability to live. I spend every waking moment with him and my grandmother. I return home only to sleep. I’m even questioning what home really is if its not with them… I truly am lost.

 

[laszlo]

When I was in your age (may be younger, my grandfather was still alive) I started a spiritual exercise, what I keep even now 50 years later. Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself: what would I do, if I would knew that I die today? The answer is always to schedule my to do list for the day.

After a while one understand: The death is a beautiful termination of the test period, the transition to the eternal life.

 

[tinkerbell81]

Thank you for responding Laszlo.

I am 30 years old. I have been fortunate in my life to have never lost a loved one. But the reality of it all is starting to sink in. I will lose these people. No matter how hard I try to prevent it, they will be taken.

All of my memories, will fade with time. And so will they.

I am so scared right now.

 

[wisdomseeker]

Please help me.

I have lost my way over the years.

Recently, a loved one had a very close call. I have not been able to pick up the pieces and move on from the shock. I have found myself questioning and fearing death. Fearing it to the point of total consumption. This person is my grandfather, a devout Catholic of whom I have always looked up to and admired. My heart aches with sorrow at the very thought of losing him or my grandmother. I feel very lost, and the only thing I keep feeling is that I need to speak to a priest about this. I’m scared for him, what if when life ends it just ends…what if I never get to see him again? These worries have disabled my ability to live. I spend every waking moment with him and my grandmother. I return home only to sleep. I’m even questioning what home really is if its not with them… I truly am lost.

When I am afraid of something, I go alone and tell our Lord how afraid I am if this happens. I telll Him all my fears. it is not so easy to do that because when we are in fear it seems that we loose our way to God and dont even realize. I mean, it seems that God is far away from us. It is hard to trust God when we have fears. It works everytime when we confess to him that we are afraid.

 

[Mumbles140]

Thank you for responding Laszlo.

I am 30 years old. I have been fortunate in my life to have never lost a loved one. But the reality of it all is starting to sink in. I will lose these people. No matter how hard I try to prevent it, they will be taken.

All of my memories, will fade with time. And so will they.

I am so scared right now.

I am 26 years old, and as I prepare for a wedding in less than 3 months, I’ve been forced to confront the fact that I have one living grandparent remaining, while my fiancee has all 4 in relatively good health.

Now, I lost a grandmother and grandfather when I was 15, and another grandfather at 20. These times are very difficult, especially when you live close by. But your concern should be about making your grandparents comfortable, and helping them prepare for Christ. My grandmother had cancer, which she lived with for roughly 7-8 months before passing away. Every single night, a rosary was said at my grandparents’ house at 7pm sharp. Once a week, my family would make the hour drive up there to pray with the family, and then drive straight home afterwards. As hard as it was, it was also comforting opening our hearts up to Christ, to let Him guide our family through this.

Five years later, when my grandfather passed away, all of his children and a large majority of his grandchildren were huddled around his bedside at my aunt’s. Everyone was grief stricken, everyone in tears, and about 2 minutes of silence after his last breath, we knelt as a family and prayed the Rosary while tears stained our cheeks. Still, it was our faith in Christ and His Redemption of mankind that helped us get past. For those who have made themselves clean and prepared for the after-life, there is no fear.

Be fortunate your grandparents are still alive. The first death of a loved one is very difficult, and honestly, it never gets easier. But there is only so much you can do, so don’t lose yourself in being there for them all the time, or you truly will be lost once they are gone. Certain ‘memories’ may fade, but the love you felt for them will keep them alive in your heart, and always continue praying for them in Purgatory.

Do not be afraid of death. Let Christ shepherd them in when their time has come so they may be waiting for you to join them in the Eternal Feast in Heaven.

 

[Windmill]

tinkerbell,

I understand what you are talking about. Death is the unknown, and sometimes that scares us. What you have to believe is the fact (the FACT) that God will give you, your grandparents, and everyone else enough grace to get to heaven… You may fall, but you go to Confession and get back up on your feet and keep walking in faith.

I’d also recommend that you bring these concerns up to a priest. This is not something you should deal with on your own. It will only aggravate the problem.

As far as what you can do to help your trust in God, I’d recommend reading a chapter of the Gospels every night at bedtime, and then close with a prayer to Christ. Don’t try to be a theologian, and don’t take on a slew of devotions. All that will do is complicate your life right now. Keep it simple. Reading from the Gospels will give you a glimpse into the heart of Our Lord, and as you grow in intimacy with Him, your trust in Him will grow, too.

Finally, I’d say this: Realize that you are blessed for at least recognizing your mortality. So many people run from it or push it out of their minds, and so they never take the next step, that being: turning towards the Lord. God has put this realization in your heart, not to torment you, but to draw you into a deep relationship with Him, and thereby, grow in holiness. Take that opportunity. Accept that invitation.

Start today.

 

[tinkerbell81]

Thank you all.

Windmill, perhaps this was an invitation?

I have been struggling with religion and faith for a while now. The birth of my daughter last year only confused me more.

I was born catholic, and confirmed. But never really made it there 100%
then, with this most recent event…I found myself lost

I reached out to a priest at my church and will stop in for a visit and a chat.

I guess I’m just searching for answers, or at least peace in my own mind that when we leave this place, we will be reunited with those we love.

And perhaps while I see it as losing my grandfather…somewhere his mother is getting her son back. That’s the only comfort I can get.

God bless

 

[vsedriver]

Thank you for responding Laszlo.

I am 30 years old. I have been fortunate in my life to have never lost a loved one. But the reality of it all is starting to sink in. I will lose these people. No matter how hard I try to prevent it, they will be taken.

All of my memories, will fade with time. And so will they.

I am so scared right now.

We all lose loved ones, but you will not lose all of your memories. The love you have for your grandparents will never fade.

Your fears are normal and human but remember if you live in Christ you will live forever and if they have lived their lives in Christ then they too will live forever. This is the good news of the Gospel.

 

[fhansen]

Please help me.

I have lost my way over the years.

Recently, a loved one had a very close call. I have not been able to pick up the pieces and move on from the shock. I have found myself questioning and fearing death. Fearing it to the point of total consumption. This person is my grandfather, a devout Catholic of whom I have always looked up to and admired. My heart aches with sorrow at the very thought of losing him or my grandmother. I feel very lost, and the only thing I keep feeling is that I need to speak to a priest about this. I’m scared for him, what if when life ends it just ends…what if I never get to see him again? These worries have disabled my ability to live. I spend every waking moment with him and my grandmother. I return home only to sleep. I’m even questioning what home really is if its not with them… I truly am lost.

This could be the very impetus you need to find your answer-to become “found”, which is the purpose of our faith. In order to find God-and for Him to “find” us-we must ask, seek, and knock. And He rewards this faith/hope-induced seeking with more faith-and we become increasingly capable of believing in the promises He’s made to us in the gospel-we find ourselves truly believing them, even to our own surprise. And the way we look at death then changes radically-the “sting” is removed as St Paul says. Ask, seek, and knock-God will answer-and He’s the only one who can.

 

[Gregory_I]

Perhaps this near miss was to show you that your love for your Grandparents is not a love based on the love of God, but a natural, and instinctual thing, when God has called you to supernatural love.

Perhaps this was a warning to show you the condition of your soul, not to get hung up on death, or fear your grandparents dying, but to show that your love might have a little more of the animal than the angel in it.

 

[dconklin]

Thank you for responding Laszlo.

I am 30 years old. I have been fortunate in my life to have never lost a loved one. But the reality of it all is starting to sink in. I will lose these people. No matter how hard I try to prevent it, they will be taken.

All of my memories, will fade with time. And so will they.

I am so scared right now.

I pray for you Tink.

Death is as much a part of life as birth. It happens to all of us. Sorrow and grief are all very natural, but letting them control you is not. I once was told what a priest said to a child after his grandparent passed away. It was OK to cry but not for too long. He went on to explain that Heaven is everything that is good. When people go up to Heaven and look down at us they cannot see us when we are sad.

When God “calls people home” he also gives us others to love. I know you have a child. Perhaps there my be more down the road. Love them as you love your grandparents.