Please help me, I just want to be with God

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Ricky88

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Hello, I am here to tell you about my life story and my unique situation in my search for the right path and religion. I’m really hoping that you kind folks can help me out.

Here’s my story, apologies if I bore anyone:

I am a 19 year old living in Canada. I was born to Hindu parents although never really embraced the religion as I found it silly. I have however always believed in God. I was non-religious though… I have severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. IIt wasn’t until earlier this year that something just hit me and I decided to research Christianity. But it sadly wasn’t the beautiful things Jesus did that attracted me to it, but it was an absolutely horrifying fear of Hell that brought me to Christianity. I started crying, at 19 years old like a little child because of Hell. Like I mentioned earlier, I have OCD (which is now full-blown scrupulosity) and apparently Hadephobia (a phobia of Hell). So I went to a church here (Protestant) and decided to become a Christian. Deep down I still felt immense pain in my stomach because I felt like I was only believing in Jesus out of fear and not love. Then I began to have violent and sexual thoughts (uhg, I feel like crying just writing this) about Jesus… I don’t want to get into details but they were VERY BAD. My stomach hurt all day, night and school, work… everything just went downhill. I then learned about the Catholic faith and the difference between mortal and venial sin and such… I felt like if I wasn’t a Catholic I would go to Hell so I decided to stop attending that Protestant church and go to a Catholic one. I attended mass weekly and felt better at the church seeing all the happy people but the whole time I would be thinking about something else or fighting the urge of having blasphemous thoughts. Everytime I look up at the cross I had thoughts of breaking it and destroying the church but immediately after I would say to myself “I don’t want these thoughts, I’m sorry Jesus please I don’t want to do this…” I now know this is scrupulosity… anyway, before I rant on for too long, my catholic faith was shaken but reading things online where Protestants say that Catholics commit idolatry and then by Calvinists who say only the elect go to Heaven, so again I started fearing Hell and that i wasn’t elect or that if I was a Catholic I was not elect etc.

Later on I learned about Islam and the descriptions of the Islamic Hell horrify me so much… my OCD and fear is driving me crazy, I go online and read forums where Catholics say something that makes sense, but then Protestants say something that makes just as much sense and Calvinists say something, Islam forums have muslims who make just as much sense about why the Trinity doesn’t make sense but then Christians refute it and muslims refute it back and it goes on and on and on…

I have a serious problem of doubt, its my main problem of OCD… DOUBT. No matter how much info Christians give me supporting that Jesus is God or that Muslims give me info that he isn’t, I can’t have peace of mind… I always doubt. This past week I didn’t attend mass because I was afraid of offending Allah. I was so upset the whole day because I knew I committed a mortal sin. But I felt like going to mass was not a good idea as I am in so much confusion, havent received therapy yet and to add to my dilemma of which religion to follow… I have blasphemous thoughts about Jesus. 😦

The only thing that comforts me a little is that the Catholic Church says that there are mitigating factors for mortal sins, where mental illness and emotional/behavioral disorders may exempt some mortal sins… I just pray that I fall under this category…

Anyway this is my situation. I would just like to point out that despite being so confused, I still try my best to follow the teachings of Jesus and all denominations and religions. I have stopped lusting, masturbating, watching porn, drinking, partying, lying, downloading free music, I have stopped getting angry as much as I can etc… basically I am a new person… born again you could say… but I don’t know what I believe in. I have a mental illness and apparently it prevents me from certainty, which means I can never be a Catholic and have peace of mind, or a Protestant or a Muslim or anything… I do however 100% believe in the Abrahamic God… (Bible, Torah, Koran etc) but I just don’t know what to do.

I’m only 19 and I just want to die… nothing in this life matters anymore except knowing God. I don’t do anything, I stopped calling my friends, doing almost nothing for fun, I don’t want sex or money or fancy technology… I just want to know God and for this pain in my stomach to go away, I want this fear of Hell to go away… I made a prayer to GOD… saying that all of these different religions and denominations are conflicting and are only being said my mere men… I have come to the conclusion that only God can open my heart to the truth…

Someone on this forum mentioned in another post that there may be some backdoor paths to salvation and that God may treat some people with a different kind of judgment taking into account our situation… I feel like this is my only hope that God understands me and knows I want to be with him so desperately. I know Christians say that we are all sinners but the difference here is that I know I am a sinner and i have tried to stop and I do believe and desire God but I don’t know which religion/path is right so I am asking the Lord for forgiveness myself…

It’s the only thing that has made the pain in my stomach go away. Sorry for writing so much but I am a broken man, I am crippled in fear and its not fair, I want to be with God so badly and how do I know which faith is right? I know you guys will say Catholicism and its a beautiful religion but I have OCD, scrupulosity etc. Is there any hope for me? Do you think that God understands my situation, I mean I don’t mean to be some Christian AND Muslim guy trying to “trick” God so I am saved both ways, that is not it… I just want God, not religion. 😦 I firmly believe that we humans can never know 100% how ALL people will be saved so maybe there’s hope for me… thanks for reading my story, please any words of advice is so appreciated. I pray for all of you with all my heart. 🙂

God bless
 
I have some intrusive thoughts as well, and Jesus Christ has helped me immensely. After each step I have been more healed. Baptism, confession, confirmation into the Catholic Church, and then regular prayer, confession, reading Scripture and the writings and lives of saints, aavoiding anti-Christian social situations at least sometimes, and having plenty of Christian friends, all healed me and continue to do so.
 
Ricky,
peace and blessings be upon you.
Like you i am most keen on pleasing God not men of religions. This is the right path you are on.

You are trying to get away form what you see as sinful , having a wank etc. This is the right path.

You are open to finding the truth in religion, ie prodistants, catholic, muslim. This is the right path.

You are one of the most guided people on this forum.

The closer we get to God the closer darkness comes to us, fear not for God is more powerful always.

if in doubt recite the lords prayer, call him Allah or Father they are just words the God you are seeking is the one you pray to.

If you keep your prayers only to God, keep seeking the right path it will be real kool 4 u.

Be patient it is a life long journey, if you become angry start the lords prayer to your self and sit down, if you continue to be angry keep praying and lie down. Dont be in a hurry God will find you.

May God bless you always Brother.
 
Hello, I am here to tell you about my life story and my unique situation in my search for the right path and religion. I’m really hoping that you kind folks can help me out.

Here’s my story, apologies if I bore anyone:

I am a 19 year old living in Canada. I was born to Hindu parents although never really embraced the religion as I found it silly. I have however always believed in God. I was non-religious though… I have severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. IIt wasn’t until earlier this year that something just hit me and I decided to research Christianity. But it sadly wasn’t the beautiful things Jesus did that attracted me to it, but it was an absolutely horrifying fear of Hell that brought me to Christianity. I started crying, at 19 years old like a little child because of Hell. Like I mentioned earlier, I have OCD (which is now full-blown scrupulosity) and apparently Hadephobia (a phobia of Hell). So I went to a church here (Protestant) and decided to become a Christian. Deep down I still felt immense pain in my stomach because I felt like I was only believing in Jesus out of fear and not love. Then I began to have violent and sexual thoughts (uhg, I feel like crying just writing this) about Jesus… I don’t want to get into details but they were VERY BAD. My stomach hurt all day, night and school, work… everything just went downhill. I then learned about the Catholic faith and the difference between mortal and venial sin and such… I felt like if I wasn’t a Catholic I would go to Hell so I decided to stop attending that Protestant church and go to a Catholic one. I attended mass weekly and felt better at the church seeing all the happy people but the whole time I would be thinking about something else or fighting the urge of having blasphemous thoughts. Everytime I look up at the cross I had thoughts of breaking it and destroying the church but immediately after I would say to myself “I don’t want these thoughts, I’m sorry Jesus please I don’t want to do this…” I now know this is scrupulosity… anyway, before I rant on for too long, my catholic faith was shaken but reading things online where Protestants say that Catholics commit idolatry and then by Calvinists who say only the elect go to Heaven, so again I started fearing Hell and that i wasn’t elect or that if I was a Catholic I was not elect etc.

Later on I learned about Islam and the descriptions of the Islamic Hell horrify me so much… my OCD and fear is driving me crazy, I go online and read forums where Catholics say something that makes sense, but then Protestants say something that makes just as much sense and Calvinists say something, Islam forums have muslims who make just as much sense about why the Trinity doesn’t make sense but then Christians refute it and muslims refute it back and it goes on and on and on…

I have a serious problem of doubt, its my main problem of OCD… DOUBT. No matter how much info Christians give me supporting that Jesus is God or that Muslims give me info that he isn’t, I can’t have peace of mind… I always doubt. This past week I didn’t attend mass because I was afraid of offending Allah. I was so upset the whole day because I knew I committed a mortal sin. But I felt like going to mass was not a good idea as I am in so much confusion, havent received therapy yet and to add to my dilemma of which religion to follow… I have blasphemous thoughts about Jesus. 😦

The only thing that comforts me a little is that the Catholic Church says that there are mitigating factors for mortal sins, where mental illness and emotional/behavioral disorders may exempt some mortal sins… I just pray that I fall under this category…

Anyway this is my situation. I would just like to point out that despite being so confused, I still try my best to follow the teachings of Jesus and all denominations and religions. I have stopped lusting, masturbating, watching porn, drinking, partying, lying, downloading free music, I have stopped getting angry as much as I can etc… basically I am a new person… born again you could say… but I don’t know what I believe in. I have a mental illness and apparently it prevents me from certainty, which means I can never be a Catholic and have peace of mind, or a Protestant or a Muslim or anything… I do however 100% believe in the Abrahamic God… (Bible, Torah, Koran etc) but I just don’t know what to do.

I’m only 19 and I just want to die… nothing in this life matters anymore except knowing God. I don’t do anything, I stopped calling my friends, doing almost nothing for fun, I don’t want sex or money or fancy technology… I just want to know God and for this pain in my stomach to go away, I want this fear of Hell to go away… I made a prayer to GOD… saying that all of these different religions and denominations are conflicting and are only being said my mere men… I have come to the conclusion that only God can open my heart to the truth…

Someone on this forum mentioned in another post that there may be some backdoor paths to salvation and that God may treat some people with a different kind of judgment taking into account our situation… I feel like this is my only hope that God understands me and knows I want to be with him so desperately. I know Christians say that we are all sinners but the difference here is that I know I am a sinner and i have tried to stop and I do believe and desire God but I don’t know which religion/path is right so I am asking the Lord for forgiveness myself…

It’s the only thing that has made the pain in my stomach go away. Sorry for writing so much but I am a broken man, I am crippled in fear and its not fair, I want to be with God so badly and how do I know which faith is right? I know you guys will say Catholicism and its a beautiful religion but I have OCD, scrupulosity etc. Is there any hope for me? Do you think that God understands my situation, I mean I don’t mean to be some Christian AND Muslim guy trying to “trick” God so I am saved both ways, that is not it… I just want God, not religion. 😦 I firmly believe that we humans can never know 100% how ALL people will be saved so maybe there’s hope for me… thanks for reading my story, please any words of advice is so appreciated. I pray for all of you with all my heart. 🙂

God bless
catholicforum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy1.htm
our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/
angelfire.com/ca3/rafaelmarie/ThePieta/athepieta.html
catholicbooksonline.org/item.asp?PID=294
 
Hello,

I can relate to your fears and this OCD problem that you mentionned. I was myself at your age, very obsessed with the fear of hell. I developed since I was about 9 years old, fears of the devil and demons and hell that would seriously disturb my sleeps at night and would really make me a sad person at day. This fears were so present in my mind, I would have them every day, every night, every hour of my life!

I cannot go into the details here, but I am saying this to show you that I can relate to your fear of hell.

First of all, try to find some good in these fears. One of our great preachers, Father Corapi once said starting his speech, “lets start with the subject of hell, so we don’t end up there.” A great saint of the catholic church, Saint Jean Marie Vianney said that the thoughts of hell are not necessarily bad, and the fear of it has saved many souls from going there, because it has pushed them to convert and do good. Better be preoccupied about it rather than ignoring it! You are probably more likely not to end up there than souls who are totally indifferent to it! And so far, it seems this fear is pushing you to find the truth! My friend, dont be too harsh on you, you say your intentions for seeking god are that you are scared of hell! You know, how many of us are driven to god by pure love for him? Who among us is seeking god only for innocent reasons? I ll tell you, very few of us! We all have our own interests involved, be it by fear of hell, or because we want consolations in our sufferings, or because we want to find meaning in our life, or because we want protection!

I was like you for many years. I remembered talking to many priests, that I was praying every day not by love for god but by fear of hell. I was feeling guilty of my intentions for praying and going to mass. But if you look at the bible, many sinners first came to Jesus with imperfect intentions. Look at the return of the prodigal son. This story in the bible is used by Jesus to illustrate how god joyfully accept his sons and daughters when they go back to him. The story is very clear: A man had two sons. When those sons were old enough to lead their own lives the father gave them their inheritance. One son chose to stay near his father, helping him at his farm, the other chose to leave home, and went spending all his money living a sinful life of luxury and lust!
When he finally ran out of money he had no shelther and no food, and went back to his father thinking that at least he would have those in his father’s house. His father was so happy to see him back, he welcomed him no matter his past deeds and no matter his intentions! We are for most of us prodigal sons and daughters. Our intentions for going back to god cannot be entirely pure, because we are not perfect! Another great saint, a doctor of the church, Saint Teresa of Avila was primarily converted because of her obsessions for hell! She was at a young age totally consumed by the fear of hell! It moved her closer to god and then she became one of the greatest saints we ever had! You see, God knows our intentions and having us back under his wings he will gradually but surely bring us into a more loving acceptance of him. You will only grow in love for god if you are with him. Your fear of hell may be a starting point for you to find god. Then stay with him, pray with perseverance, and act like a christian and he will do the rest, transforming your fears of hell into a love of god and mankind.

Your issue of obsession with hell may also be that you lack confidence, you may have a profound a distrust of life and incidently of god. I am saying that because it was one of the reasons for my obsessions. The fact is God may be the only one to restore this confidence that you need to feel more secure with life.

I prayed and prayed with perseverance sometimes with setbacks, I even went away from the church for a while, but I went back, I persevered. I am not that obsessed about hell anymore, and I can say that if indeed the first movement for me **to become **a catholic was motivated by the fear of hell, I am happy to say now, that the reason why **I remain **a catholic is because I feel love and gratitude for god!

A last point, it may not be totally spiritual. I also saw a psychologist to speak about my issues. It may also help you, though in my case, i would say what healed me from these obsessions was my perseverance in prayer, confession and more maturity with age. You are in need of peace, and I hope you will find it.

alexis
 
Ricky,

We all have our tests, and God never gives us a challenge without giving us the strength to get through it. We all struggle with doubt at one time or another, but there is one thing of which we can always be absolutely sure. God loves us. He loves everyone. He even loves those that reject Him, and you are far from rejecting Him.

God has a tremendous amount of mercy on those afflicted with mental illness, but for the sake of your own happiness, and that of your friends and family, I would strongly suggest that you seek treatment.

You will be in my prayers.
 
Ricky…
May I suggest that you go and see a priest in your area who has the gift of healing and exocism…
You might be disturbed by evil spirits and the closer you get to Jesus the more angry they get and a very gifted priest might be able to help you out of that situation.
Demons exist… but they cant take a person who belongs to Christ and cast him into hell. When you have thoughts of fear and darkness use the Name of Jesus. Its immensely Holy and Powerful.

Don’t worry brother… Jesus says this: “Fear not little flock for your Heavenly Father has already decided to give you the Kingdom.” 🙂 He loves you so.

I think this word is for you.
 
Demons exist… but they cant take a person who belongs to Christ and cast him into hell. When you have thoughts of fear and darkness use the Name of Jesus. Its immensely Holy and Powerful.
👍👍👍
 
Hello, I am here to tell you about my life story and my unique situation in my search for the right path and religion. I’m really hoping that you kind folks can help me out.

Here’s my story, apologies if I bore anyone:

I am a 19 year old living in Canada. I was born to Hindu parents although never really embraced the religion as I found it silly. I have however always believed in God. I was non-religious though… I have severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. IIt wasn’t until earlier this year that something just hit me and I decided to research Christianity. But it sadly wasn’t the beautiful things Jesus did that attracted me to it, but it was an absolutely horrifying fear of Hell that brought me to Christianity. I started crying, at 19 years old like a little child because of Hell. Like I mentioned earlier, I have OCD (which is now full-blown scrupulosity) and apparently Hadephobia (a phobia of Hell). So I went to a church here (Protestant) and decided to become a Christian. Deep down I still felt immense pain in my stomach because I felt like I was only believing in Jesus out of fear and not love. Then I began to have violent and sexual thoughts (uhg, I feel like crying just writing this) about Jesus… I don’t want to get into details but they were VERY BAD. My stomach hurt all day, night and school, work… everything just went downhill. I then learned about the Catholic faith and the difference between mortal and venial sin and such… I felt like if I wasn’t a Catholic I would go to Hell so I decided to stop attending that Protestant church and go to a Catholic one. I attended mass weekly and felt better at the church seeing all the happy people but the whole time I would be thinking about something else or fighting the urge of having blasphemous thoughts. Everytime I look up at the cross I had thoughts of breaking it and destroying the church but immediately after I would say to myself “I don’t want these thoughts, I’m sorry Jesus please I don’t want to do this…” I now know this is scrupulosity… anyway, before I rant on for too long, my catholic faith was shaken but reading things online where Protestants say that Catholics commit idolatry and then by Calvinists who say only the elect go to Heaven, so again I started fearing Hell and that i wasn’t elect or that if I was a Catholic I was not elect etc.

Later on I learned about Islam and the descriptions of the Islamic Hell horrify me so much… my OCD and fear is driving me crazy, I go online and read forums where Catholics say something that makes sense, but then Protestants say something that makes just as much sense and Calvinists say something, Islam forums have muslims who make just as much sense about why the Trinity doesn’t make sense but then Christians refute it and muslims refute it back and it goes on and on and on…

I have a serious problem of doubt, its my main problem of OCD… DOUBT. No matter how much info Christians give me supporting that Jesus is God or that Muslims give me info that he isn’t, I can’t have peace of mind… I always doubt. This past week I didn’t attend mass because I was afraid of offending Allah. I was so upset the whole day because I knew I committed a mortal sin. But I felt like going to mass was not a good idea as I am in so much confusion, havent received therapy yet and to add to my dilemma of which religion to follow… I have blasphemous thoughts about Jesus. 😦

The only thing that comforts me a little is that the Catholic Church says that there are mitigating factors for mortal sins, where mental illness and emotional/behavioral disorders may exempt some mortal sins… I just pray that I fall under this category…

Anyway this is my situation. I would just like to point out that despite being so confused, I still try my best to follow the teachings of Jesus and all denominations and religions. I have stopped lusting, masturbating, watching porn, drinking, partying, lying, downloading free music, I have stopped getting angry as much as I can etc… basically I am a new person… born again you could say… but I don’t know what I believe in. I have a mental illness and apparently it prevents me from certainty, which means I can never be a Catholic and have peace of mind, or a Protestant or a Muslim or anything… I do however 100% believe in the Abrahamic God… (Bible, Torah, Koran etc) but I just don’t know what to do.

I’m only 19 and I just want to die… nothing in this life matters anymore except knowing God. I don’t do anything, I stopped calling my friends, doing almost nothing for fun, I don’t want sex or money or fancy technology… I just want to know God and for this pain in my stomach to go away, I want this fear of Hell to go away… I made a prayer to GOD… saying that all of these different religions and denominations are conflicting and are only being said my mere men… I have come to the conclusion that only God can open my heart to the truth…

Someone on this forum mentioned in another post that there may be some backdoor paths to salvation and that God may treat some people with a different kind of judgment taking into account our situation… I feel like this is my only hope that God understands me and knows I want to be with him so desperately. I know Christians say that we are all sinners but the difference here is that I know I am a sinner and i have tried to stop and I do believe and desire God but I don’t know which religion/path is right so I am asking the Lord for forgiveness myself…

It’s the only thing that has made the pain in my stomach go away. Sorry for writing so much but I am a broken man, I am crippled in fear and its not fair, I want to be with God so badly and how do I know which faith is right? I know you guys will say Catholicism and its a beautiful religion but I have OCD, scrupulosity etc. Is there any hope for me? Do you think that God understands my situation, I mean I don’t mean to be some Christian AND Muslim guy trying to “trick” God so I am saved both ways, that is not it… I just want God, not religion. 😦 I firmly believe that we humans can never know 100% how ALL people will be saved so maybe there’s hope for me… thanks for reading my story, please any words of advice is so appreciated. I pray for all of you with all my heart. 🙂

God bless
Dear Rick

i suggest you seek a very spiritual priest for confession. do not be afraid to confess to him. your healing shall come. you may want to talk about discerning your calling in this life. have you ever thought of becoming a priest or a monk? you know a life of serving God in a way in which you give up all things in this earth, pick up your cross and follow Him?

also tell Jesus of your suffers and how much you want to follow Him in truth.
ask Him to open your eyes and ears for you want to see and hear the truth.
do not be afraid God is with you always, if you seek Him in truth.

ask the priest also if you can go in a retrieve. quietness and prayers are very important at this point in your life.

Peace be onto you.
 
when i was 19, i was a little… disturbed myself… actually i was half-nuts… You can blame hormones on some of it… (seriously)…

Anyway, God doesn’t condemn anyone for bad thougths. You are doing what you should in fighting them.

I haven’t read all posts here so hope i am not repeating… but have you ever tried sitting for a long spell at the Blessed Sacrament? You do know what that means, don’t you?? Just go to an “empty” Church, where the Real Presence of Christ abides 24/7… and spend time with Him… don’t say anything to him for about 1/2 hour or so… just be quiet and listen… and let your mind think whatever it wants… Whatever you think about, Jesus will take it and… well, I can only speak for myself, i suppose, but soemthing will happen…

People talk about Jesus and about religion and about this and about that… but

***there is NOTHING like being there!! ***
 
Ricky,

I pray for your relief. Are you in treatment for your OCD? Has it interfered with other aspects of your life? I understand that medication sometimes can help.

I feel for your fear of Hell. But remember, as it says in the Bible, “Perfect love casts out fear.” Christ has perfect love for YOU.

Godspeed.
 
Ricky88

I agree that you should seek the help of an exorcist. The blasphemous thoughts about Jesus and thoughts of destroying sacred images are signs of demonic influence. I have struggled with this in my past, though not to the extent that you are suffering. This trouble is almost certainly exacerbated by the OCD. Please speak with a priest. If you aren’t already, start reading the Bible daily, especially the Gospels. Spend an hour a day in prayer, preferably in Eucharistic adoration. Don’t worry about what to pray exactly, just spend some time on your knees with the Lord. Try praying like the man in Mark chapter nine, who said, “I do believe, help my unbelief!” Don’t think that you are offending God by seeking Him. He knows your questions and your doubts, and He loves you more than you can possibly imagine. There is hope. You are in my prayers.

God bless you!
 
Of course God understands, He knows every hair on your head.

Jesus healed the sick, including those who were suffering from mental illness. He didn’t judge them as going to hell. Give your fear, anxiety, and suffering to Him.

Pray. Trust God. He Loves you and wants you with Him. That is the desire of God, not that you go to hell.

And please, seek medical help.
 
Ricky,

You go to hell if you choose it, and you are choosing Jesus:) always remember how much He loves you 🙂 and remember that you can always go to confession and repent of your evil thoughts, and even ask for exorcism . Talk to Jesus, He won’t let go off you, He will help you, do not be afraid, He knows your weaknesses because He came to heal them 🙂 He is much happier with you when you trust Him and He is sad if you do not 🙂 you will be in my prayers
 
i suggest you seek a very spiritual priest for confession.
how do you find a “spiritual” priest?? do you have to go through a lot of “unspritual” ones b4 you find him?? I am not being facetious here… I have gone to confession a few times b4 and found that i felt much worse after going… one priest was impatient, didn’t listen, interrupted, and seemed very cold and uncaring… Then there are some who just give u absolution and that’s it… I think priests should talk a little with the person about how to avoid the sin in the future, or whatever…
 
how do you find a “spiritual” priest?? do you have to go through a lot of “unspritual” ones b4 you find him?? I am not being facetious here… I have gone to confession a few times b4 and found that i felt much worse after going… one priest was impatient, didn’t listen, interrupted, and seemed very cold and uncaring… Then there are some who just give u absolution and that’s it… I think priests should talk a little with the person about how to avoid the sin in the future, or whatever…
i dont know about your area, but you should ask around if any one know of a good priest that you can go and talk to. make an appointment with him.
for example my priest is a franciscan and sometimes we sit and talk for over an hour.
I pray you find one holy priest who can help you.

visit as many catholic churches you can until you find one.

the grace and peace of our Lord be with you.
 
ifor example my priest is a franciscan and sometimes we sit and talk for over an hour.
I pray you find one holy priest who can help you.

visit as many catholic churches you can until you find one.

the grace and peace of our Lord be with you.
thanks… I already know of one but he lives kind of far… and also, i wanted the OP to know that, well, not all confessors are the same… & he should look around…
 
thanks… I already know of one but he lives kind of far… and also, i wanted the OP to know that, well, not all confessors are the same… & he should look around…
i have a sense that you are a very loving person and i like you already.

yes. you are right about the confessors. but i have faith that Our Lord will bring His Church to where it suppost to be.
the main thing is that even those who we believe are not as faithfull to God as they should they still are doing some good.

Peace onto you.
 
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