Hello Monica4316,
Anything you did before you were Catholic could never result in any ecclesiastical penalty. Only Catholics can incur such a penalty.
Also, keep in mind canon 1330: “A delict which consists in a declaration or in another manifestation of will, doctrine, or knowledge must not be considered completed if no one perceives the declaration or manifestation.” So, no, heretical thoughts are not penalized. A thought to hurt the Pope is certainly not penalized.
“Accomplices” are penalized only if they were necessary in the action being performed. In other words, without that accomplice, the act would not have been done (c. 1329.2).
No, you are not excommunicated for not continually trying to bring your family into the Church.
Dan