PLEASE help me overcome sexual impurity

[anonemoussinner]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

 

[agangbern]

Are you sure what you are doing is “sexual impurity?” I guess you are in the age of a great biological and emotional upheaval. Many of us go through this seemingly confusing period of our life. But let us not add to our confusion this anxiety, feeling of shame and hate within. It is prudent that we keep this uncontrollable effect within the walls of our room and not show express approval of it to our neighbor. But let us not despair. Let us continue coming to Jesus specially through the Holy Mass, in the Eucharist. Rest assured, Jesus knows and understands fully what we are going through. The time will come, when you reach the age that the internal upheaval calms down, you will have the peace that you dream for.

 

[Joyousguard]

First of all, your not alone in your temptations. Every human on the face of the planet, even the clergy and all the saints had such temptations. All of us know how difficult they can be to overcome and deal with. Temptation is not something you beat and then cast aside as a defeated foe but rather something that we must continualy battle day after day and as all us sinners know, we don’t always win. However, look at a baseball player. If a ball player gets a hit 1 out 3 times he is considered a great player. I think in the realm of morality many of us are batting well beyond that statistic.

First and foremost accept the fact that we are human and do not alway succeed in living a pure life no matter what it may be. For me, somedays are worse then others for various reasons such as stress or difficult people to work with to say nothing of home life. Your going to faulter and this is a reality you must accept. That is why we have redemption and confession. Sometimes I feel there should be drive up confession for those of us who are less than Christian many days in a row, eaither that or I might need to carry a priest around with me. I think I know how Martin Luthur felt.

You must learn to forgive yourself and your moments of weakness for God already has done so after your confession and I’m sure He understands the trials and temptations you go through each day. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry and above all do not hate. It is good that you dislike what you do but do not hate yourself for it.

Okay, now for the very practical aspects of how to control your urges and deal with your temptations.

First and foremost, prayer, confession, prayer, more sacraments, prayer, followed by prayer. This is the most important thing by far and ask God or Mary to help strengthen your will to overcome temptation. They will grant you the grace but it still will be diffcult at times. When you have the desire or urge, pick up the rosary and start to pray.

Second, I would recommend wearing a holy medal at all times, they see what you see. God’s eyes are everywhere but sometimes it is a nice reminder when the virgin Mary is around our necks with her eyes outward and inward to our hearts, to get our minds back on the right track.

Third, excercies is an important factor in reducing hormones and in general using up sexual energies. Running, swimming, martial arts etc. It should help reduce your urges to a certain extent.

Fourth, part of your desire and needs to be fullfilled are a result of your bodies natural response to procreate. Essentially your body is telling you its time to start considering some sort of relationship with the opposite sex. Not to say that you need to get married right away or start having sex but to merely state that your body is pushing you in that direction. Although it could be many, many years off perhaps male companionship (platonic) would help alleviate some of this sexual tension.

Five, with such a temptation, it is not necessarily a good idea to go “cold turkey” as it were. It’s alot like trying to quite smoking or swearing. Although with smoking, your bodies additction to nicotine can be broken with patches or gums. While your goal should be to stop immediately, doing so might be more difficult then it appears and thus you may feel even worse when you return to old habits. Instead, try to set goals and time periods. Set a certain number of weeks or days and a maximum number of times and then gradual increase weeks and decrease the number of times. This is by no means and endoresement but merely a suggestion if you have difficulty stopping immediately. After awhile you may be able to reduce your bodies dependence on it or simply find that in conjuction with everything else you do, you simply no longer have the desire.

Six, try not to watch anything that might cause you to have impure thoughts. In this day of age with the internet and tv it is extremely difficult but none the less something that should be attempted as best you can.

Seven, many people might be trying to tell you that this type of thing is natural and normal. Well it is natural and normal to sin but that does not necessarily make things right. Masturbation reduces yourself to a source of pleasure, almost a thing. Sex is a good thing but only in the context of marriage, when the person you are sharing it with is a person and not a “thing” or a means to an end.

Unfourtunately this is something that you are going to have to deal with for awhile. You must accept the fact that you are not a bad person nor should you hate yourself for this. It can take us quite a long time to be able to eventually conquering these vices. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry but continue to fight this constantly asking for God’s help.

 

[guanophore]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

Sexual sins and compulsions are no different than any other kinds of sin. There are many things you can do to fight them, and what works for one person may not work for someone else. Here are some ideas:

Remember that the battle is not yours, but God’s. Of ourselves, we are not able to overcome sin, because sin is more powerful than we are. Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalties and powers in the heavenly places. We can only overcome sin by the Power of the Blood.

Go to confession EACH and EVERY time! this can get very wearisome, and for some intractible sins, knowing it has to be confessed is enough to help in times of weakness. There are also graces poured out in the Sacrament that will help you to resist sin. Go to Mass daily. If you cannot, listen on EWTN or radio.

Avoid “near occassions”. Identify things that trigger the desire. For many, this is pornography, but it could also be at certain places and times, under the influence of alcohol, etc. Once you identify those events or circumstances that lead up to sin, you can interrupt them early.

Find substitutes. Make sure you are living an otherwise healthy lifestyle by getting plenty of exercise, eating right, and living a balanced life. Some people get caught in intractible sins as a way to cope with anxiety. To get out of it, one must have other coping skills.

Pray in the spirit at all times. Personally, I find tongues the most helpful, but for others, different prayers. A significant portion of behavior is in the thinking and intention of the heart. If one has one’s mind on the Blessed Mother, it is hard to persist in sin. The Rosary is also a powerful prayer tool.

Your guardian angel stands by you to guard and guide you. Your angel will see everything you do. Do not make your angel look the other way!

Pray to patron saints who have struggled the same struggle you have. Ask for their help, and the grace to overcome as they have done.

Memorize scripture. The more scripture you can commit to memory, the more power you give to the HS to bring it to mind when you need it. It is also important to speak scripture aloud, as well as prayers. Hearing yourself say the words will strengthen the mind

Listen to good teaching and scripture by audio. It is hard to commit sin when the Bible is being read in your hearing.

These are some of the things that I have found helpful in my own struggles with various intractible sins.

 

[Teeliumtrozzle]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

IDK what masterbation is but whatever your tempted with,always pray the rosary! It is a tool to use against the devil.And never be afraid to go to confession because the priest forgives every sin as long as you are very sorry.

 

[StCsDavid]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

First of all, God loves you. Never forget that. Second, if this is a habitual thing, you may not be putting yourself into a state of mortal sin as you may believe. Talk to your priest about this. Third, you cannot do anything without grace; so stay close to the sacraments, especially Eucharist. If you have an adoration chapel near by, consider spending some time there each week. Finally, the fact that you hate your sin is a gift. It may not seem like it, but how many people do you know who commit the same or similar sin and think it is no big deal?

You’re breaking a habit. Set small achievable goals. Take things day by day…even hour by hour. A mantra to consider might be, “I want to masturbate, but I choose not to, right now.” This gives you the freedom to experience the desire, but also frees you to choose if and when you do it. It’s hard work and you will fail from time to time. It might even feel like you fail more than you succeed for awhile. Don’t beat yourself up when you stumble. Christ already took the scourging for your sins. He wants you to pick yourself up and keep trying. Persevere. And don’t forget the number of times that you were tempted and chose not to give in. Often I think we focus on the failure when we’ve had a dozen successes that preceded it. I’ll bet you say no to this sin more than you say yes. That’s a good thing.

 

[ChangingHeart]

Five, with such a temptation, it is not necessarily a good idea to go “cold turkey” as it were.

You have been given a lot of great advice on this thread, but this is NOT among it. Lust says, “I want…I want…I want…” It always demands more. Lust never satisfies. No matter how erotic the pornography you see may be, you’ll always want something more, something new. Lust is a bottomless pit. Like Hell, it is a fire that keeps on burning and burning, without any relief or satisfaction, just always leaving us ultimately unfulfilled, under the illusion that more will satisfy us, but it NEVER does. You MUST go cold turkey, if you expect to overcome this. Slowing down your pace in the wrong direction is still going to bring you in the wrong direction. You need to make a total 180, U-Turn, leaving lust behind, and not looking back. (I know, I know, easier said than done.) You can NOT, however, allow your self just a little lust here and there, as a little is NEVER enough, since a lot is NEVER enough. Make no compromises.

I would recommend daily reading the Bible. I know that sounds Protestant, but I also know that the times of my slip-ups tend to coincide with when I slack off on reading the Bible. Granted, that’s me, and may not be you, but it is additional advice that hasn’t been provided yet.

As for, do you need to go to confession, a question that strangely no one else has seemed to adequately answer, yet, the answer is an absolute YES. There’s no, “I’m just going to confess this to Jesus because I’m too embarassed to mention it to a priest,” not among Catholics, anyway. Keep in mind that priests are sinful people just like you and I. God knows everything about you, and is without sin. Do you fear judgment from a sinful priest moreso than you fear judgment from God? That would be an attitude that would need to be changed, if that is the case. Just in general, when you have to chose between pleasing a person or God, no matter how close a family member that person may be, we are called to ALWAYS put God first. If you aren’t yet able to do that even in the presence of a priest who doesn’t even know you, then how are you going to avoid peer pressure from close family members and friends? As a Catholic, you need to be a leader, a positive influence among your friends. If you fear human judgment moreso than God’s judgment, how are you going to be that leader? I realize that lust was the topic of this thread, but I see this issue as something that you need to resolve, too. Sorry if I overstepped my boundaries in advice, but going to confession, in addition to the absolution of your sins, can also help with your sanctification, in that it will help break down the walls of fear of human judgment that you seem to have built up around you. Just my advice.

 

[Penitus]

My advise is to seek out a counselor if you can afford it.

The bottom line is that you can use spiritual means to take this away, but the book of Sirach teaches us that God sometimes does His work through physicians.

Therefore, hit it from a multi-pronged approach: secular methods AND spiritual methods. It’s not an either/or, it’s a both/and.

Finally, it IS an addiction. When you masturbate, your body releases a series of chemicals that you become addicted to.

-A Professional Counselor.

 

[chrislky]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

Much advised had been given here but I just want to share how I manage with temptations.

1.Short prayers, like, In the Name of Jesus, I Command this desire of, or you spirit of lust…etc … to depart.

1. Ask Mary’s assistance, say slowly, very slowly, word by word, the Hail Mary prayer, reflecting on every word that you pronounce, imagine youself in Mary’s place and that you are praising God, in front of you until the desire subsides. ( Nowdays I prefer to use the Latin Hail Mary )
2. When you line up for Holy Communion or after receiving Holy Communion, tell Jesus that you really want to change that He give you the grace and strength to make this change.
3. Offer up this temptation in union with the Immaculate Heart of Mary for the conversion of souls, souls in Purgatory, the priest, for a certain person,…etc

God will never send us temptations but the devil may ask for His permission to tempt you. And if God give him the permission to tempt you, God will give you the extra grace and strength to overcome it. Trust in God. Remind yourself always, I have received Holy Communion and Jesus is in me, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, God’s house, so, do not be afraid.

Don’t waste the temptation, offer it for the salvation of souls. If you use them to save souls, the devil will be at a loss.
What will he say, " I give you problem to make you fall, make you sin and loose grace with God but you use that as and instrument to save souls, next time don’t give you temptation anymore. But be alert, once in a while, he’ll be back. Pray that the Holy Spirit guide you to recognise his evil tricks.

Remember Jesus, the devil want Him dead, Jesus offer up His suffering and death to become our salvation and Eternal Life. Use this method always to defeat his attacks and give glory to God. Padre Pio once said, " the devil is just like a dog and he is in chained." Don’t go near him, don’t play with him.

May The Peace of the Lord be with you, and may Mary’s Immaculate Heart be your Refuge and your Strength.

 

[Safe_Eagle]

First of all my heart goes out to you and you’re in my prayers.

One of the things that help is to first of all go to confession and share your struggles with God’s minister that’s first and most important.

Secondly, there seems to be precipitating factors that tend to lead to this behavior. For example, certain tv programs, even certain friends. It’s good to really take stock of things and see what might be aggravating things.

Thirdly, get to regular prayer and sacraments. Daily communion if you can or at least as often a possible.

Another thing that sounds silly but it does help. That is to keep your house/enviornment cool.

God bless:thumbsup:

 

[CindiA]

IDK what masterbation is but whatever your tempted with,always pray the rosary! It is a tool to use against the devil.And never be afraid to go to confession because the priest forgives every sin as long as you are very sorry.

I keep seeing the same thing over and over again about going to the priest for confession. However, I am still in RCIA and have not been granted the gift of confession. One time I called my priest about the same sin of impurity and while he listened to my “confession” he also made it clear that it was not a confession. What do I do in the case of my mortal sins that I am not able yet to confess because I am going thru the RCIA program? Help. I, too, am in a quandry about this whole confession thing. What do I do now? How do I receive absolution?

 

[StCsDavid]

I keep seeing the same thing over and over again about going to the priest for confession. However, I am still in RCIA and have not been granted the gift of confession. One time I called my priest about the same sin of impurity and while he listened to my “confession” he also made it clear that it was not a confession. What do I do in the case of my mortal sins that I am not able yet to confess because I am going thru the RCIA program? Help. I, too, am in a quandry about this whole confession thing. What do I do now? How do I receive absolution?

First of all, as you may have not yet learned, confession gets you back into a state of grace with Christ and back into full communion with His church. Since you can’t get back to something you never had, the sacrament is not efficacious for you at this time. This doesn’t mean the chips are stacked against you. Christ’s mercy is way bigger than anyone can imagine, which is why we may all discover some day that there are people who weren’t Catholic in this life rejoicing in Heaven. If you are to be baptized at the Easter Vigil, then you will wait to go to confession until after your baptism as all of your sins are washed away at the moment of baptism. Should you get run over by a bus between now and then, you might experience a baptism by desire and your sins taken care of that way. So what do you do. Repent. Pray. Persevere. Trust in God’s mercy.

 

[Brian_Murphy]

Here is a prayer that God answers 100% of the time: Every time that you feel tempted, stop what you are doing, even if you are half sleeping in bed, fall on your knees and picture the crucified Jesus in your mind. Hold that image in your mind for at least five minutes. Picture his blood dropping from the cross and falling onto every part of your body. Stay in that mode until the passion totally passes. This is your way of expressing your free will and saying that you love the Lord more than you love your passion. He will let you keep your passion, under your control, to be expressed solely within the confines of the mutual consent of marriage.

 

[kentuckyliz]

I don’t know how old you are, but trust me, aging helps. Your hormones start declining in your thirties and that relieves a lot of the biological compulsion.

 

[Joyousguard]

You have been given a lot of great advice on this thread, but this is NOT among it. Lust says, “I want…I want…I want…” It always demands more. Lust never satisfies. No matter how erotic the pornography you see may be, you’ll always want something more, something new. Lust is a bottomless pit. Like Hell, it is a fire that keeps on burning and burning, without any relief or satisfaction, just always leaving us ultimately unfulfilled, under the illusion that more will satisfy us, but it NEVER does. You MUST go cold turkey, if you expect to overcome this. Slowing down your pace in the wrong direction is still going to bring you in the wrong direction. You need to make a total 180, U-Turn, leaving lust behind, and not looking back. (I know, I know, easier said than done.) You can NOT, however, allow your self just a little lust here and there, as a little is NEVER enough, since a lot is NEVER enough. Make no compromises.

Saint Augustine once said “Give me constancy and give me chastity, but do not give it yet”. It was his prayer to God asking him for the grace to end his pleasure seeking. As many know, Augustine in his youth was not the model of Christain virture he would later embody and I will leave any further description out for various reasons.

Augustine was a man who knew temptation and a man who often gave into those temptations. He was also wise enough to understand that he must continue to pray even as he sinned. He was also wise enough to understand that his body was not ready to give up what his heart already accepted that he must. “Give me constancy and give me chastity but do not give it yet” is a prayer to God asking him for the grace to stop his lust in the future when he was truly ready to accept it. Even the great theologian Augustine knew that man has a difficult time stopping themselves from seeking what their bodies desire. He understood that man often comes to realize that what we desire is wrong, sinful and ahrmful but that it takes awhile before we are truly ready to stop these acts and move on to a much more pure life.

Augustine was not able to stop immediatly even though he knew it to be wrong. He realized that living a moral life is a process that takes a long time and is not achieved overnight. Succumbing to temptation is inevitable part of th ehuman experience. But through the grace of God this temptations become less and less as we become more and more his. Little by little we must chisel out all our imperfections and faults until all that remains is the good.

If a Saint is so forgiving and understanding of human nature should we not be so as well?

 

[ClaireS]

A book called The Courage to be Chaste by Fr. Benedict Groeshell had a small section about masturbation that really helped me. It was definite that it is objectively really sinful which I needed to hear. The other point that helped me is that he said it can be overcome which I was doubting because it had gone on for years.

One thing he said was that it’s a habit and habits can be broken. The first three weeks are the hardest. But after that time it becomes easier. That gave me hope that with God’s help I could do it. It turned out to be true! Also there is something that happens in your life and your relationship with God after you break this habit that is wonderful.

Even after it’s no longer a habit, you might sometimes have a temptation and give in but just repent right away and don’t get back into it being a habit and with God’s grace those times get farther apart and you resist temptation easier. Keep close to Jesus and Mary.

I felt so helpless about this, I went to the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe and asked her to let me dedicate this part of my life, my sexuality, to her because I had failed so much I knew I couldn’t do it myself.

Like the other posters say, go to confession.

For CindiA, just turn to God each time in repentance and trust and ask for His grace to be chaste.

One insight I got from this fight against temptation is that I’m not disgusting, sexual pleasure isn’t disgusting, but experiencing it outside of God’s plan makes it seem that way. This is such a great gift God has given us and He asks that it be used in marriage. So if we’re not married, or not married yet, we are respecting God’s goodness by not using this gift against His will.

I hope this helps.

“How good is the good God!” …St. Julie Billiart

 

[ChangingHeart]

Augustine was a man who knew temptation and a man who often gave into those temptations. He was also wise enough to understand that he must continue to pray even as he sinned. He was also wise enough to understand that his body was not ready to give up what his heart already accepted that he must. “Give me constancy and give me chastity but do not give it yet” is a prayer to God asking him for the grace to stop his lust in the future when he was truly ready to accept it. Even the great theologian Augustine knew that man has a difficult time stopping themselves from seeking what their bodies desire. He understood that man often comes to realize that what we desire is wrong, sinful and ahrmful but that it takes awhile before we are truly ready to stop these acts and move on to a much more pure life.

St. Augustine was a very significant and influential member of the Catholic Church. He is a positive example and role model for us. That particular, prayer, however, in my opinion, is NOT a positive role model of the attitude that we should take while praying. We need to desire to give ourselves FULLY to God, RIGHT NOW, not after we indulge in ADDICTIVE sin a little more. We need to pray for deliverance, trusting in God’s sanctifying and sacramental grace. Yes, in all probability we will stumble and fall on the road to overcoming lust, but that doesn’t mean that we should desire anything less than instant total and permanent sanctification, since seeking total deliverance would be in accordance with loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we fall, we need to let God pick us right back up, confess, and move forward on that road to recovery. When we see our failures as failures, we’'ll cherish and appreciate the victory even more when it comes. If we see our failures as personal dispensations that we granted ourselves in our prayer lives, then well, that’s just flat out the wrong attitude to have.

Slowing down our pace on the broad road that leads to death is NOT what God desires of us,(as any compromise that we make between God and the devil is really just a 100% surrender to the devil) but instead, we need to walk on the narrow road that leads to life, trusting in God’s grace. God wants obedience. Yes, He is merciful and understands our failures. Nevertheless, I would find it hard to believe that God would want us to pray in a manner of essentially saying, “God, please grant me the freedom to sin until my body is ready to catch up to my heart. Yes, I’m struggling in deadly sin. Deliver me eventually, but not right now. My body is enjoying it, too much.”

I know how difficult the road to overcoming lust is. It is the biggest battle many of us will face our entire lives. We will only make the battle more difficult for ourselves if we take the attitude that it is perfectly acceptable to commit mortal sins along the way, as long as we reduce the frequency by which we commit them. Again, we will likely stumble and fall, but it is better to fall down while on the right path, than to stand strong(from the perspective that you’ve allowed yourself compromise) on the wrong path.

 

[Joyousguard]

St. Augustine was a very significant and influential member of the Catholic Church. He is a positive example and role model for us. That particular, prayer, however, in my opinion, is NOT a positive role model of the attitude that we should take while praying. We need to desire to give ourselves FULLY to God, RIGHT NOW, not after we indulge in ADDICTIVE sin a little more. We need to pray for deliverance, trusting in God’s sanctifying and sacramental grace. Yes, in all probability we will stumble and fall on the road to overcoming lust, but that doesn’t mean that we should desire anything less than instant total and permanent sanctification, since seeking total deliverance would be in accordance with loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When we fall, we need to let God pick us right back up, confess, and move forward on that road to recovery. When we see our failures as failures, we’'ll cherish and appreciate the victory even more when it comes. If we see our failures as personal dispensations that we granted ourselves in our prayer lives, then well, that’s just flat out the wrong attitude to have.

Slowing down our pace on the broad road that leads to death is NOT what God desires of us,(as any compromise that we make between God and the devil is really just a 100% surrender to the devil) but instead, we need to walk on the narrow road that leads to life, trusting in God’s grace. God wants obedience. Yes, He is merciful and understands our failures. Nevertheless, I would find it hard to believe that God would want us to pray in a manner of essentially saying, “God, please grant me the freedom to sin until my body is ready to catch up to my heart. Yes, I’m struggling in deadly sin. Deliver me eventually, but not right now. My body is enjoying it, too much.”

I know how difficult the road to overcoming lust is. It is the biggest battle many of us will face our entire lives. We will only make the battle more difficult for ourselves if we take the attitude that it is perfectly acceptable to commit mortal sins along the way, as long as we reduce the frequency by which we commit them. Again, we will likely stumble and fall, but it is better to fall down while on the right path, than to stand strong(from the perspective that you’ve allowed yourself compromise) on the wrong path.

As I have suggested before, the ideal is to always try and live a good and pure life. However, one can not always run a marathon on their first day and must be willing to accept that the road ahead will be plagued with setbacks and temptations.

Agustine’s words of “constancy and chastity” accurately reflect the lives in a which we all live. We ask the Lord for strength to overcome this temptation that entices us to sin but at the same time we ask for this strength as one of endurance rather than just for the immediate situation. However, Augustine knew that in order for us to to truly give ourselves to God and conquer our fondness towards sin, that all of our being must be in unision towards that goal.

Augustine understood that although his heart and soul craved God and thus sought him, that his body still had wordly desires most likely other than just sins of the flesh. Augustine asked for “constancy and chastity” but not necessarily towards the sins of the flesh but rather all sins. He knew that while his heart and soul belonged to God that he had to work towards his mind and body coming to the same level. Only when all our being works towards the desire to be completly God’s could we ever hope to conquer our sins.

We all know what the ideal life is and we all know what we must do to reach it. However, sometimes it takes a while until we are ready to truly accept this into our lives. Like Augustine, we too desire God. We try to work for the day when sin an dtemptation are just a memory. “Give me constancy and give me chastity, but do not give it yet” translates into “give me strength to stop sinning continually and consistently for it is you I desire and towards you I am working, my body desires earthly pleasures and causes me to look away from you. I am coming to you Lord but I’m not quite there yet. Pour out your grace upon me little by little until I am able to break free from my worldy desires and then help keep me there with You”

Perhaps Augustine understood human nature better then any of us do. He understood that we all desire God and a life without sin but that we must understand that it does take awhile before our bodies and minds are ready to accept what our hearts and souls already know. We must understand that while we aim for perfection the only thing we are is perfectly imperfect. We know only God fullfills, we know only God suffices but we ask Him to pour out his graces upon us as we try to break from the desires of this world. And when all our being is in union of purpose and desire may God keep us there.

 

[gtdannemiller]

You have been given a lot of great advice on this thread, but this is NOT among it. Lust says, “I want…I want…I want…” It always demands more. Lust never satisfies. No matter how erotic the pornography you see may be, you’ll always want something more, something new. Lust is a bottomless pit. Like Hell, it is a fire that keeps on burning and burning, without any relief or satisfaction, just always leaving us ultimately unfulfilled, under the illusion that more will satisfy us, but it NEVER does. You MUST go cold turkey, if you expect to overcome this. Slowing down your pace in the wrong direction is still going to bring you in the wrong direction. You need to make a total 180, U-Turn, leaving lust behind, and not looking back. (I know, I know, easier said than done.) You can NOT, however, allow your self just a little lust here and there, as a little is NEVER enough, since a lot is NEVER enough. Make no compromises.

This is 100% true. Been there, done that. Doesn’t work. The only way I have found to succeed is: cold turkey, relying on God’s grace and strength, and prayer.

 

[jssaxon]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

You really expect people on an internet forum to help you stop masturbating???

This site is rather interesting, I must say!