Please help me - prayer group with school

[Saber_Mom]

I wasn’t sure of where to post this, so if this needs to be moved, please move it.

I’m on the Catholic Identity team at our Catholic school. I’m the parent representative. Last month, it was suggested that we have a morning prayer group of parents for the school, so I started that up. I was told to keep the praying short for the school so busy parents could attend, so I have limited it to about 5 minutes of prayer. We are a Catholic school, and at that last meeting, it was made aware to me that many parents don’t even know their prayers, so I have the prayers on a prayer sheet for people to follow along.

I start the prayer service with something like this: “Heavenly Father” (or Lord Jesus) “we thank you for this day. We thank you for our precious children and this beautiful school. We thank you for our priests and teachers who guide our children at our school. Please bless them all throughout their day, keep them safe and open their minds to your goodness.” (Then I add in specific requests that parents have mentioned - a sick nephew, an exhausted priest, etc). I then end it with “We ask this all in your most holy name.”

We then say an Our Father, a Hail Mary, A Glory Be, a Prayer to the Holy Spirit and then a Prayer to St. Monica. It lasts, honestly, about five minutes.

So, as I was doing the update for my job as parent for this committee, I mentioned that I thought it would be nice to say the Rosary on Fridays. The priest (our pastor) jumped on me about that - said it’s ridiculous to expect parents who do that and that we shouldn’t just recite prayers, that prayers need to come from the heart and not just be recited. Also, I need to remember that many parents who send their kids to this school aren’t Catholic. (I was told at the last meeting to help parents who WERE Catholic and to keep the prayers to a minimum - an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be. This is the Catholic Identity committee and I believe I did what I was told to do other than adding on a prayer to the Holy Spirit and to St. Monica). Plus, at the last month’s meeting, we emphasized families not knowing the Rosary and learning to pray the Rosary, so I asked the committee what they felt about me teaching parents how to pray the Rosary.

I don’t know how he jumped to that conclusion that when I pray I don’t speak from the heart by reciting prayers, but I couldn’t get a word in at all to defend myself. He yelled at me about that, and then got angry because two religion teachers weren’t there to explain to me why I was wrong. (And I didn’t argue with him at all - I honestly couldn’t get a word in at all). But then after all of that, he started yelling at teachers saying that Catholic parents don’t know anything about their faith.

I don’t know what I did wrong. I left the meeting in tears because I was so embarrassed. I tried to write down everything that happened here honestly, so if you read this, can you tell me why he may have yelled at me and what I did wrong? Thank you.

(For what it’s worth, I know more than the average Catholic about my faith, but I’m no where near an expert. But heck, what is so objectionable about praying before school daily?

(edited to clarify)

 

[Allegra]

I can imagine your frustration. It sounds like the priest in question is expecting you to make everyone happy and unfortunately, not everyone has the same vision for the group you are organizing. If you want to continue with this endevor, I would ask him for a clear directive, since apparently he is unhappy with the format you have planned. If he doesn’t like what you are doing, he needs to tell you specifically what he wants you to do. You also mention the priest “yelling” at you. I’m not sure what you mean by that, but if he is actually raising his voice at you, that is rediculous and you would be perfectly within your right to calmly and respectfully state your expectation that he will speak to you in a respectful tone.

 

[Dtmccameron]

…I thought it would be nice to say the Rosary on Fridays. The priest (our pastor) jumped on me about that - said it’s ridiculous to expect parents who do that…

Hmm…maybe a bit unrealistic in regards to the time available, but not ridiculous.

and that we shouldn’t just recite prayers…

:ehh:

…that prayers need to come from the heart and not just be recited.

ahem
It seems as though Fr. doesn’t believe that the Rosary can be prayed from the heart. That’s ridiculous.

Also, I need to remember that many parents who send their kids to this school aren’t Catholic. (I was told at the last meeting to help parents who WERE Catholic and to keep the prayers to a minimum - an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be.

You send your kids to a Catholic school, one would freaking hope they’d encounter some Catholicism there. :banghead:

But then after all of that, he started yelling at teachers saying that Catholic parents don’t know anything about their faith.

A fair enough point, really.

But heck, what is so objectionable about praying before school daily?

No, idea. It seems to me that Fr. was going against a few separate issues, and you managed to catch the condensed effects.

I hate committees. Maybe try the outreach yourself. Invite interested parties to your house or something. Or like the above poster said: as him what he wants. Best way of figuring out what he’s really on about.

 

[Saber_Mom]

Thank you so much for your response.

Yes, he raised his voice at me. So much that the two ladies across the table from me looked shocked. I was too. I don’t know what I did to deserve the anger I got, but it embarrassed the heck out of me and I started to cry.

I can’t believe I cried like that. I used to work with all men in the automotive industry and I’ve been cussed at, screamed at, called every name in the book, and I never cried, but having this priest yell at me the way he did today? Oh my word, I was so embarrassed.

 

[Saber_Mom]

Dtmccameron - whoops - I should have proofed my post. I figured that when we would say the Rosary, it would take a much longer time. It takes me about a half hour to recite the Rosary and that’s including reading/reflecting on the mysteries.

Sorry about that - there’s no way we could do the Rosary in 5 minutes.

(He was very angry before I even mentioned the Rosary. When I mentioned the Rosary, that’s when he started yelling. Oh my word, I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed).

I can understand objections to praying the Rosary, but the intentions of this parent prayer group that I was asked to lead was to bring the parents more to Catholic prayer and at the last meeting, someone suggested teaching parents the Rosary. I said I’d do it during morning prayer if people were willing to stay. Of course, I couldn’t say any of that today because I couldn’t get a word in.

But the fact that I cried in front of everyone? Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I did that. I am so embarrassed - not sure if I can look everyone in the eye tomorrow. I feel like such an idiot.

 

[pollylodges]

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

 

[SouthCatholic]

Could it be that the priest is concerned that the direction the group is taking could be exclusionary and will split the school community apart? I ask that because of this:

The priest (our pastor) jumped on me about that - said it’s ridiculous to expect parents who do that and that we shouldn’t just recite prayers, that prayers need to come from the heart and not just be recited. Also, I need to remember that many parents who send their kids to this school aren’t Catholic.

Perhaps his vision of the morning prayers was one in which all parents would be encouraged to participate–which would allow for a united community working for the best for the school–and that the focus on reciting specific Catholic prayers would be off-putting to protestant parents and cause division rather than bringing the community together?

 

[Saber_Mom]

Could it be that the priest is concerned that the direction the group is taking could be exclusionary and will split the school community apart? I ask that because of this:

Perhaps his vision of the morning prayers was one in which all parents would be encouraged to participate–which would allow for a united community working for the best for the school–and that the focus on reciting specific Catholic prayers would be off-putting to protestant parents and cause division rather than bringing the community together?

It might be. But then I’m not sure what the purpose of our Catholic Identity group is then. I think I need to ask him specifically what he wants us to do, but right now I’m so afraid to approach him.

 

[fin]

Saber Mom, sorry to hear about this. I think the priest was unreasonable. I’d like to think he just had a bad day.

Actually you can just pray a decade of the Rosary. That takes around 3 minutes. You don’t have to pray 5 decades, which takes 15 to 20 minutes.

I figured that when we would say the Rosary, it would take a much longer time. It takes me about a half hour to recite the Rosary and that’s including reading/reflecting on the mysteries.

Sorry about that - there’s no way we could do the Rosary in 5 minutes.

 

[farnhamyrl]

I would ask him for a clear directive, since apparently he is unhappy with the format you have planned.

 

[Saber_Mom]

Well, I found out this morning that I was just another victim. The trigger word was “Rosary”, and he has something against the Rosary. Before he came here, we had a group of ladies who would pray the Rosary before the weekday Masses. He stopped that and doesn’t allow them to pray the Rosary in the church anymore. The ladies do meet once a week in one of the meeting rooms to pray it, but other than that, he won’t allow the Rosary to be said.

I had mentioned praying the Rosary and even though he was angry before I said it, when he heard that we were thinking of praying the Rosary weekly, that’s when he really lost it. After I had left the meeting yesterday afternoon, a big argument happened (I don’t know the details and don’t want to know the details), but a woman who was in the meeting with us who works for the church said everyone was upset by how I was treated and several phone calls were made last night. To whom? I don’t know. I just know that phone calls were made.

So, it’s good to know that it’s not really “me.” I just happened to say the trigger word, and that’s what caused the humiliation I got yesterday. As for what he has against the Rosary, I don’t know. But I’ll be sure to pray one for him today.

Thank you everyone for your kind responses.