If it helps, I suffer from the same problem.
I pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit, but mostly, I feel like I’m being given a lesson in humility (I was an English major in college, and taught English for 7 years)- that here’s a book I can’t make heads or tails of.
And, as much as I know I need them, I find the footnotes to be more of a distraction than a help. They interrupt in the middle of sentences, I’m utterly unable to ignore them until I’ve finished the sentence, and then, they usually just confuse me more.
Like I said, a lesson in humility.
Last Lent, I made it my mission to read all the Gospels, which I found to be easier to read than much of the Old Testament (like Chronicles? Forget about it!)- but I am always sort of amazed by people who have “read the whole Bible many times”.
So anyway, I feel for you- I’m suffering right there with you. People keep telling me that the Bible is God’s love letter to me, but sometimes I think that it is actually a letter to someone else- MY letter got lost in the mail.
