Please help me sleep tonight. I need someone now to answer

  • Thread starter Thread starter jjjjjthats5js
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

jjjjjthats5js

Guest
I never had a serious Girlfriend, until about 5 months ago. I told myself I would have sex until marriage, and recently became more religious again. (I always went to church every week of course).

Today, being valentines day, I bought her jewelry and flowers, like I suppose most men would give to the Women that they love so so much. I had a strange feeling, because I knew that the sex question was gonna happen. (Don’t think I’m crazy) I thought to myself, Jacob, If you do this tonight, you are going to go to hell. I felt sick to my stomach. But somehow, I felt super pressured (not her doing) and we had sex. Now I am very angry at myself and I need someone to help me feel better.
 
I never had a serious Girlfriend, until about 5 months ago. I told myself I would have sex until marriage, and recently became more religious again. (I always went to church every week of course).

Today, being valentines day, I bought her jewelry and flowers, like I suppose most men would give to the Women that they love so so much. I had a strange feeling, because I knew that the sex question was gonna happen. (Don’t think I’m crazy) I thought to myself, Jacob, If you do this tonight, you are going to go to hell. I felt sick to my stomach. But somehow, I felt super pressured (not her doing) and we had sex. Now I am very angry at myself and I need someone to help me feel better.
 
jjjjjthats5js said:
I never had a serious Girlfriend, until about 5 months ago. I told myself I would have sex until marriage, and recently became more religious again. (I always went to church every week of course).

Today, being valentines day, I bought her jewelry and flowers, like I suppose most men would give to the Women that they love so so much. I had a strange feeling, because I knew that the sex question was gonna happen. (Don’t think I’m crazy) I thought to myself, Jacob, If you do this tonight, you are going to go to hell. I felt sick to my stomach. But somehow, I felt super pressured (not her doing) and we had sex. Now I am very angry at myself and I need someone to help me feel better.
Click to expand...
Go to confession. That’s the only thing that will make you feel better - if by better you mean forgiven.
 
You sinned all right–not to make you feel even more badly, but you did. And if you hadn’t put yourselves in a place in which temptation would be overwhelming you wouldn’t have. That’s why the Church tells us to avoid the “near occasion of sin”.

Well, what next? Go on sinning because you had sex when you shouldn’t so what does it matter? NO! You go to confession and you make sure you aren’t put in that situation again.

I know in our day we’re supposed to think we can be any where and do anything without consequences, but it’s not true. The devil uses our so-called “freedom” to lure us into sinning. If you really love this young woman you won’t touch her again unless and until you marry.

You can control your actions–you’re not helpless. Satan wants you to think you are, but you aren’t. Resolve to never do this again unless and until it’s sanctioned by marriage. And take the appropriate steps to be sure you don’t.
 
Never mind being angry at yourself. Concentrate on being sorry you have offended God, Who is so good and loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die for your sins. Then get to confession as soon as you possibly can. Don’t hesitate to call a priest for an appointment.

You’ll also need to apologize to your girlfriend for leading her into sin, and tell her that sex won’t be happening again before you get married, if you do.

For tonight, make the best act of contrition you are able to and throw yourself on God’s mercy, which is endless.

Betsy
 
It is important to remember that we are Catholic, but often our bodies don’t know this. Chastity is the goal for which we all strive. Sometimes we fall in different ways, either having sex, looking at what we should not be looking at, having conversations that we should not be having, reading what we should not be reading, thinking about what we should not be thinking and so forth, you get the idea.

You do not have to give up your goal to live a chaste life. If you have fallen, you get up and you try again. As someone already said. You make a good act of contrition and go to confession as soon as you can. Do not despair that you will never be chaste. God’s mercy includes both forgiveness and the grace to try again and again and again. You get my meaning?

If I were you, I would do something for my girlfriend. That can be an hour before the Blessed Sacrament or some other act of charity. It is important that you see her in this light, so that you are less tempted the next time that you are together. You have to see her as Christ’s sister. Pray for this grace.

Whatever you do, do not despair. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He gets the greatest joy out of forgiving us when we are truly sorry.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
I know how you feel. I was there, two days before Easter three years ago. Praying for you.

This may be hard to do right now, but look back at the patterns in your relationship before this. For many people, this is a gradual thing, and/or something they could have avoided. Like you said, you knew it was going to come up. You put yourself in a situation where sex was an option. It felt right, and natural, and there wasn’t much to keep away from it.

Next time, try to change the situation. Don’t set yourself up for failure. JReducation’s suggestion about Adoration is great! I’m thinking in practical terms, too. Have dinner out, not in. Give her presents in a public place. Plan to do something else, something that takes you away from a possibly sexual situation. Think ahead.

That sick feeling you’ve got? That’s good. That means you care, you aren’t desensitized to how destructive sex in the wrong context can be. Don’t stop caring. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that because it’s done there’s no use trying anymore, or that you’re somehow damned to fail. You’re not.
 
jjjjjthats5js said:
I never had a serious Girlfriend, until about 5 months ago. I told myself I would have sex until marriage, and recently became more religious again. (I always went to church every week of course).

Today, being valentines day, I bought her jewelry and flowers, like I suppose most men would give to the Women that they love so so much. I had a strange feeling, because I knew that the sex question was gonna happen. (Don’t think I’m crazy) I thought to myself, Jacob, If you do this tonight, you are going to go to hell. I felt sick to my stomach. But somehow, I felt super pressured (not her doing) and we had sex. Now I am very angry at myself and I need someone to help me feel better.
Click to expand...
Go to confession and tell your struggles to the priest and ask him for some advice. You are not alone in this. Many of us out there struggle with impurity. The thing is that you love God and you do not want to offend him. It is good that you feel guilty about having premarital sex but remember every time you sin that God came to save sinners and don’t pity yourself and think that you are not deserving God’s forgiveness because you are. The evil one takes advantage of your weakness and seduces you into thinking that it’s not a big deal and that it is natural and will feel good and after you have fallen into temptation he seduces you into thinking you are awful and are going to hell and so why bother with confession. But it is precisely when you sin that you must have recourse to God and go to confession as promptly as possible.

You also mentioned that you felt pressured not by your girlfriend then by who? Is your girfriend a woman of faith? If yes, then suggest to her that you both pray about this and about having sex until your married. That being said, try not to put yourselves into situations where your going to want to have sex. Go out with friends and family. I pray you will find peace.
 
As soon as you wake up every morning, say a Rosary. Before you even get out of bed.

And start a Rosary just before you go to sleep at night. Let yourself drift off.

And get to confession, even if you have to call the rectory to make an appointment.

Daily Mass is also very beneficial.
 
We are all sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. Here’s what you need to do:

Hit your knees.; Slowly and prayerfully read Psalm 139. Confess your sinfulness directly to God. Ask his forgiveness and his help in redirecting your desire toward seeking his will always as you live out your life. Repentence will follow as you take these steps. It means to turn away from sin and it’s a critical element of the christian life.

God Bless.
 
FiberZilla said:
We are all sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. Here’s what you need to do:

Hit your knees.; Slowly and prayerfully read Psalm 139. Confess your sinfulness directly to God. Ask his forgiveness and his help in redirecting your desire toward seeking his will always as you live out your life. Repentence will follow as you take these steps. It means to turn away from sin and it’s a critical element of the christian life.

God Bless.
Click to expand...
That is an act of contrition.

He still must go to the Sacrament of Confession.

The poster can ask his Priest after Mass today to hear his confession.
 
Whenever you ask a question like this, you’re bound to get an answer of “the rosary”. Why? Because it works. I’ve found that, by praying the rosary, I can resist temptations I wouldn’t have been able to before.
 
You have gotten great advice already, and there is nothing that I can add, except that I will pray for you for strength to overcome this temptation in the future. Don’t beat yourself up, go to confession-- God will erase your sin and it will be such a relief!

Michelle
 
While premarital sex is a sin, U R NOT going 2 Hell! Go 2 Church, make ur Confession and attempt 2 live better… we ALL sin, and all God asks is that we be truly sorry and try 2 do better. We all slip up in some way or another, don’t beat urself up… u r good and God loves u.
 
LittleBits said:
While premarital sex is a sin, U R NOT going 2 Hell! Go 2 Church, make ur Confession and attempt 2 live better… we ALL sin, and all God asks is that we be truly sorry and try 2 do better. We all slip up in some way or another, don’t beat urself up… u r good and God loves u.
Click to expand...
We cannot tell someone that they are or are not destined for hell.

We can know that those who die with unrepentant mortal sin are promised hell.
 
kage_ar said:
We cannot tell someone that they are or are not destined for hell.

We can know that those who die with unrepentant mortal sin are promised hell.
Click to expand...
True, but the OP is remorseful and contrite not stubbornly refusing to acknowledge his sin, and isn’t that what constitutes a perfect act of contrition? He should go to confession ASAP, of course and not presume upon God’s mercy, but if he were hit by a bus and died on his way to confession I don’t believe he’d go to hell.
 
kage_ar said:
We cannot tell someone that they are or are not destined for hell.

We can know that those who die with unrepentant mortal sin are promised hell.
Click to expand...
**I’m sorry, this post was totally out of line. Bad taste, bad form. He wants forgiveness. Saying this was in terrible taste at best, downright thoughtless at worst. **

My friend-

Go to confession and bask in the glory of God’s forgiveness. He wants you on his side again.

We all commit sin-He knows this. He wants you back in His graces.

Don’t beat yourself up over this.
 
Timbothefiveth said:
Whenever you ask a question like this, you’re bound to get an answer of “the rosary”. Why? Because it works. I’ve found that, by praying the rosary, I can resist temptations I wouldn’t have been able to before.
Click to expand...
Works for some, not for others.

I can’t honestly say I get much from praying the Rosary. I get much more from the Liturgy of the Hours.

We’re all different and that’s the beauty of the Church: there’s room for everyone and everyone’s particular charism.
 
kage_ar said:
We cannot tell someone that they are or are not destined for hell.

We can know that those who die with unrepentant mortal sin are promised hell.
Click to expand...
If someone expresses sorrow for their sin, even if they have not had a chance to go to confession, there is forgiveness. Therefore, it can be safely said to someone.

We cannot say this to someone when we do not know their disposition. Maybe that’s what you’re talking about.

For example, in spiritual direction we tell people when they should worry and when they should not. Spiritual direction is not confession. They are two very different ministries. But we (the spiritual director) knows the disposition of the individual. If an individual is telling me that they are sorry for their sin. I can safely say to them, “you are not going to hell. Just get to confession as soon as you can.” If the person willfully does not go to confession at the first opportunity, then it is pretty obvious that they are not sorry. It’s in the hands of the penitent.

Our holy Father Francis alwasy told his brothers to be merciful and kind to the contrite sinner, even if we were not the Father Confessor. We were always to encourage the contrite sinner to trust the mercy of God. All this being said, only the person knows for sure if he is truly sorry. We are only responding to what he tells us.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top