Please help me understand the rules

[sherilo]

Hello all,

I need a little help understanding the rules for people entering the Catholic church. I married a non-practicing Catholic in a civil ceremony. Though I was baptized Catholic, I was raised Protestant. My husband did not take the initiative to have our daughter baptized, and I, devoid of any Catholic upbring, never thought of it. Well, last year, I was led to research Catholicism, and of course, the obvious occurred–I was called home. As a result, my husband has been attending Mass again for the first time in 20 years. Now comes the problem. I have researched how to become Catholic. Catholic answers and people on these forums have said that I should not have to go through an entire RCIA program. But, that is what I keep being told I have to do. I have decided to just be obedient, and do it, even though, I am so impatient to receive the Eucharist. I want to have our 13 year old daughter baptized. She has been going to Mass on a semi regular basis with my mother-in-law since she was very small. I am told that because she is considered an adult, for her to be baptized, she must attend 2 years of classes culminating in her baptism, communion and confirmation. I realize that we must be obedient, but could someone help me to understand why a seven year old is considered able to receive confession and communion, but my daughter must take classes for two years. I really want her to be baptized and be able to receive confession, and she wants to do this as well. I do understand the need for classes and instruction, but I wish someone could explain why she must wait so long instead of being brought along. Any help understanding this will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Sherilo

 

[PJR]

I know those rules can seem harsh and I hope you don’t let them turn you away. Before the age of 7 or age of reason parents have children baptised and vow to follow through for them. After the age of reason the child is making the choice. The Church doesn’t want to rush into something without making sure your daughter knows what she is doing. She would be held accountable at that time for her soul. She needs the knowledge of the faith to follow it and so do you.

Be patient and keep following your heart to the Eucharist. It will be the greatest gift you could ever give yourself and your family.

Welcome Home. Love, Paula

 

[Catholic2003]

sherilo:

Catholic answers and people on these forums have said that I should not have to go through an entire RCIA program.

This is true in theory. You should be in a separate program that is directly targetted to people in your situation.

sherilo:

But, that is what I keep being told I have to do.

In practice, many parishes don’t have the resources to hold such separate programs, and just lump everyone together in RCIA. My RCIA class had seven people joining the Church, but only two were actually non-Christians who were to be baptized.

 

[Joan_M]

sherilo:

Hello all,

could someone help me to understand why a seven year old is considered able to receive confession and communion, but my daughter must take classes for two years. I really want her to be baptized and be able to receive confession, and she wants to do this as well.
Thanks,
Sherilo

A seven year old is not considered able to receive confession and Communion. He or she will have had classes, also. It’s not just a question of the child is seven, so he will make his first confession and receive First Holy Communion. The child is likely to have had, in a “normal” Catholic family, age appropriate instruction over the years, and will have been in First Communion class for at least one year.

Your 13 year-old, not having had the benefit of a Catholic upbringing will need to receive quite a lot of instruction. She will also be preparing for Confirmation (depending on the age at which it is conferred in your diocese).

It’s really not too different from the case of the seven year old.

 

[sherilo]

thank you all for your replies. I think that I am just angry with myself for not realizing sooner that I should have researched my Catholic heritage. I feel that I have wasted so much time. And in turn, neither one of my children have had the benefit of a Catholic upbringing. The only consolation is that everything is on God’s timetable, and I have faith that He will bring good out of this failing of mine. The bright side is that my daughter and I will be attending our classes on the same night of the week, and I look at this as something we can do together even though we will not be in the same classes. Also, she will grow to know and love God in a way that I never did as a child.

Thanks again,
Sherilo

 

[ames61]

Welcome Home, Sherilo!!

Actually there is a section of the RCIA Rite book which is explicity for baptized but uncatechized adults which is specifically for people like you. Some of the rites will be a little different than the catechumen (unbaptized) but the process of learning the faith will be very similar.

I know its frustrating not to be receiving the Eucharist yet, but honestly, you are in for a treat. If you can, try to see if your husband can go through the RCIA classes with you. I’ve seen so many nonpracticing, lukewarm or poorly catechized Catholics come alive as a result of attending RCIA as a sponsor or with their spouse. The process is not only informational intellectually, but should also be formational, spiritually, as well as building community with those on the journey with you, and the team and sponsor members of the parish. Every year we get unbelievable evaluations from our RCIA class from candidates, spouses, sponsors etc. The journey is worth it. And in the journey, the class serves to evangelize the whole parish as well.

In the meantime, supplement your class learning with the stuff you are already doing, and you will have much to bring to your fellow class members. Find a good prayer for a spiritual communion to use during mass. A good spiritual communion, worthily done, can bring more grace than actually receiving the body of Christ unworthily, unknowingly (or unconciously, it sometimes seem )

The program your 13 yearold daughter will be going through is RCIC (Rites of Christian Initiation for Children). My daughter went through it, and she knows much more than her peers who were born and raised in the Church and CCD. She will be systematically taught the faith, in a way that appropriate for her age, probably very personally, and in a way that will stick with her, hopefully for life. (Although 2 years does sound like a long time, our program is only a year, and seems to be adequate.)

An added excitement is that your whole family will be going through this together. I envy you this next year. What a fascinating faithfilled journey you are about to embark upon! Enjoy this time, treasure it, don’t wish it away, and keep yearning for the Eucharist. Imagine how great your Easter Vigil will be! God bless you all.

 

[ames61]

sherilo:

thank you all for your replies. I think that I am just angry with myself for not realizing sooner that I should have researched my Catholic heritage. I feel that I have wasted so much time. And in turn, neither one of my children have had the benefit of a Catholic upbringing. The only consolation is that everything is on God’s timetable, and I have faith that He will bring good out of this failing of mine. The bright side is that my daughter and I will be attending our classes on the same night of the week, and I look at this as something we can do together even though we will not be in the same classes. Also, she will grow to know and love God in a way that I never did as a child.

Thanks again,
Sherilo

Sherilo, Just read this reply after I posted the above. We’ve all done or failed to do things we’ve regretted. You weren’t raised in the Church, your husband wasn’t practicing, you weren’t married in the Church why would you have thought to investigate your heritage?

The upside is that you will likely never take your faith for granted again, and your children will see that in you. Often we value most what we almost lost. Yes I would love to have been raised in a devoutly Catholic household, saying the rosary every night on my knees in the living room with my family of eight brothers and sisters. (I know a family like this, they are awesome) But I wasn’t. And now I look for the fruit of God’s love in other things in my upbringing, and guess what, its every where. He’s been chasing me all my life, I just never knew it!

Like I said before, you are in for a great year. Enjoy it. Look for God’s love. You have a unique set of experiences which God will use later to bring others to Him. He will take everything you bring to Him and find a way to use it for good. Imagine your daughter evangelizing her own classmates once she is in CCD. It’ll happen. It blew my daughters classmates away that she was only Catholic for a year and knew her faith better than they did. It’ll call them to a higher standard.