Please help me with my vocation, many, many specific questions

[John_Monaco]

I must point something out. Not all religious communities are religious orders and they do not stress the common life.

Some religious orders also do not stress the common life and are clerical in nature, the Jesuits are an example of this.

Some religious communities are congregations of secular priests, like the Paulists.

We really need to stop using the term “religious order” to speak of all religious communities.

One thing that really strikes me about John’s situation, please correct me if I am mistaken John, is this lack of funds for college. I believe that it will be hard to find a diocese that will pay for an undergraduate degree and many of the communities (or orders) you could find as a fit for you would also be hard pressed to pay for such a thing out right.

It is a sad state of affairs but this also shows you were you are called to be. I do not believe that God calls us to a place that we can not go.

We aren’t that rich with money, but I could probably cover about 60% of the cost with academic scholarships. However, if the college per year is $35,000, and I have to pay that for 4 years, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to afford that. I wouldn’t have trouble landing a loan to any college; paying it back would take years though. Do I want to be in debt, and thus have my Masters of Divinity be suspended?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

We aren’t that rich with money, but I could probably cover about 60% of the cost with academic scholarships. However, if the college per year is $35,000, and I have to pay that for 4 years, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to afford that. I wouldn’t have trouble landing a loan to any college; paying it back would take years though. Do I want to be in debt, and thus have my Masters of Divinity be suspended?

Most student loans are differed while one is attending full time school. As the Masters of Divinity is a accredited graduate program your student loans will be differed until after you graduate.

The fact is, not all dioceses nor religious communities/orders will pay for an undergraduate degree. That is a fact, one that you must face. I did, almost everyone pursuing a vocations has to.

This is a discussion you should be having with your spiritual director and vocations director.

Most people here do not know much in the way of either side of the vocation discernment question. I would make much advice gathered from an anonymous web site.

 

[JReducation]

We aren’t that rich with money, but I could probably cover about 60% of the cost with academic scholarships. However, if the college per year is $35,000, and I have to pay that for 4 years, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to afford that. I wouldn’t have trouble landing a loan to any college; paying it back would take years though. Do I want to be in debt, and thus have my Masters of Divinity be suspended?

Do your parents know about your plans? Do they feel that they can help with your education?

Let’s assume that you were going to college to study engineering, would they be willing to help you? You know, there is also the parent loan. Have you spoken to your guidance counselor at school? There is FAFSA, the Stafford Loan, some states have grants and loans for students and their parents.

Taking two years at a local community college is a good place to start one’s college education and save a great deal of money. The coure curriculum is the same at the local college as it is at a major university. You can even look at the major university to see what they require for a degree in philosophy.

If you are interested in the priesthood, you should be speaking to your diocesan vocation director. Many dioceses participate in joint ventures such as regional seminaries. They have both minor and major seminaries. The cost of education is either free or very inexpensive.

CAF is the wrong place to get vocational guidance or educational guidance. You need a team. On your team there should be:

1. Vocation Director
2. Spiritual Director
3. Guidance Counselor
4. Parents

and of course you.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[John_Monaco]

Do your parents know about your plans? Do they feel that they can help with your education?

Let’s assume that you were going to college to study engineering, would they be willing to help you? You know, there is also the parent loan. Have you spoken to your guidance counselor at school? There is FAFSA, the Stafford Loan, some states have grants and loans for students and their parents.

Taking two years at a local community college is a good place to start one’s college education and save a great deal of money. The coure curriculum is the same at the local college as it is at a major university. You can even look at the major university to see what they require for a degree in philosophy.

If you are interested in the priesthood, you should be speaking to your diocesan vocation director. Many dioceses participate in joint ventures such as regional seminaries. They have both minor and major seminaries. The cost of education is either free or very inexpensive.

CAF is the wrong place to get vocational guidance or educational guidance. You need a team. On your team there should be:

1. Vocation Director
2. Spiritual Director
3. Guidance Counselor
4. Parents

and of course you.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Okay, well if the mods can close this topic, I can just message you.

 

[JReducation]

Okay, well if the mods can close this topic, I can just message you.

I would be happy to answer your questions on the thread. Unfortunately, I do not PM with minors. I hope that you and others understand.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[anode]

Hello all,

Can anyone give me a site, or just a selection of orders of priests, and not just religious? For example, I’m aware that the Capuchins allow for their religious to become priests, but are there not any orders that are solely for priests, and people who aspire to become a Roman Catholic priest?

I’m aware I have posted topics asking for orders that are associated with Mary, but now I’m curious to know what is out there for priests, and priests only.

For example, I looked at the Holy Cross Fathers, Resurrectionists, etc. I’m asking if there are orders out there that are for priests, and are able to serve in parishes and say Mass.

I have checked out-

1. Jesuits
2. Carmelites
3. Dominicans
4. Capuchins/Franciscans
5. Oblates of the Virgin Mary

and pretty much all of the “main” orders. I still haven’t found one that has grasped me yet, and while I don’t have all the time in the world, I do have months to decide. Seniors need to apply to colleges during the fall, and I’ll be looking for religious orders, or just from my Archdiocese.

To be completely honest, saying Mass and administering/offering myself for the Sacraments (Penance, Eucharist, Matrimony, Anointing of the Sick, etc.) are my biggest priorities. While missionary work would be nice, I would love to be able to say Mass and be stationed at a parish. While those preferences suit the diocesan route; in case the diocesan doesn’t work out, where would I turn?

Keep in mind also that I will be 17 when I start college, so orders that say “Applicants must be 18” might be out of the question, unless I contact them and explain that I have a late birthday (9/9/92), and I would only be 17 for a couple weeks when I start college. There is no way I can afford a 4 year college, just to essentially baby-sit me until I am old enough to join the order. My grades are excellent, however I cannot afford, no matter how many scholarships.

I sincerely thank ALL of you who help me, instead posting an assortment of topics to get my questions answered.

God Bless,

John Monaco

You don’t mention the Benedictines. They manage parishes, when there are enough of them (priest-monks). They can answer your questions and give you some direction. They may accept you after 2 years of community college and sponsor the rest. Otherwise I think that your best bet is diocesan seminary and consideration of congregations such as the Vincentians or the Oratory. Your call to the priesthood appears to be pre-eminent, at least right now.

A number of communities, such as the Jesuits, Benedictines, Dominicans and Franciscans, manage parishes–when they have the numbers. When they don’t, they withdraw to do other things that they are committed to. thus, parish-based priest ministry might not be guaranteed. Once again, I think that you should talk to orders which offer priesthood and parish ministry to straighten out your desires and needs. Don’t take the word of the CAF alone.

 

[CentralFLJames]

Some very good Catholic Universities like University of Stubenville (Franciscan) have distance learning programs (at least at masters level - not sure about undergrad) and Fed Loan Programs. So you might be able to cut costs by going to local community college for pre-req course work (wth their approval) and take mainline courses distant while also working in your home area. Distant learning options can cut costs since room and board is outrageous and though not being able to participate in some of the nice on campus college social culture you do get an academic pedigree that will get you the minimum you need for sponsorship in a diocese or ordered priesthood.

One way or the other you need to get a plan for that undergrad degree and work that in parallel with your longer term goals as you better define them. The danger of course with this is that as you work and school you get distracted from your objectives and lured away from the priesthood (e.g. the “problem” with co-ed lifestyles - the distractions of women lol).

Quite a few of the younger new-grads I run into these days are saddled with a load of educational debt - up to even $100K when they can’t get scholarships or state tuition programs. Fortunately in FL we have Bright Futures State scholarships that can pay up to 100% of tuition and is not at all hard to get at least partial support and many get 100%. Check your state. But in general: “welcome to the new American Sharecropper System”. It’s a fact of life now that most all of us not from wealthy families start off new adult life in debt up to our eye just to get out of the house and into the workforce and career/vocation track. If lucky one gets enough ahead in life before they die of a heart attack working to pay off those educational and home mortgage debts LOL. Sorry to be cynical…

Here is another thought: You might consider a delayed entry into the priesthood and go work for 5 years while going to school (2 years community college on pre-req work to cut costs). This way you can pay off or reduce college debts and further develop and discern your calling and perhaps in the interim join as a 3rd order lay religious in a spirituality like Carmelites (O.CARM) to develop your spirituality. This offers a lot of flexibility since you get a sense of community and spirituality but have the flexibility to work in a secular workforce as well. Then you have options to go become a secular priest and still retain your financial earnings (no oath of poverty) and help the sponsoring diocese cover your expenses.

I think it is admirable that you are thinking so far ahead at a young age and actually trying to plan not only your life but your eternity. Most youth these days are clueless at your age. We need good priests badly and I hope you can come to discernment. It sounds like you have excellent advise here.

God Bless,
James

 

[CathAndi]

Dear John,

I’m not sure, where you are now with your discernment, but I saw about your thread in the weekly email, and since I only recently found my vocation - both to the priesthood and the suitable order - (and well, it’s not really that I ‘finally’ found them, it was more that I finally surrendered to the Lord, I suppose, but you get my drift ) I was curious and hopeful in being able to offer some support and help even, perhaps. Anyway, I can see you got some wonderful help, support and advice from people here. All the same, perhaps these ideas might help you:

The order I’m now joinging - and it hasn’t been mentioned in your thread so far - is the Institute of the Incarnate Word. They do also have sisters, and contemplative brothers, but the Institute itself is there to train priests. They take a fourth vow of total consecration through Mary, according to St. Louis de Montfort. They keep their own people for the training and formation, thus ensuring that it is all proper and orthodox and in keeping with their charism and all, which “btw” is the evangelisation of the culture. They are missionary, but they are also in parishes. They’re only 25 yrs old, but all around the globe nearly and bursting with vocations, praise God. They have a seminary somewhere in New York I think. I’m just saying this, because some of the things you mentioned at the beginning of your thread seemed to be met exactly by the Institute. You can read some more, including their Constitutions and Spiritual Directory on these pages:
ivevocations.org
ive.org
I had met their sisters on retreats, and this year I had a 4 day silent Ignatian Spiritual Exercises retreat with them, where I was able to say yes to my calling to the Priesthood. Then I started reading up more about them, and it just seemed to fit so well! Then a couple of weeks ago I spent 2 weeks with them (in Italy, since I live in Europe, and that’s their nearest seminary) and I loved it. The life was so balanced and normal and good, the people were just normal, joyful, happy, kind, friendly, encouraging, loving, welcoming… So after the first week I sat down and I typed up all the pros and cons and there was nothing there to stop me - just this queasy feeling of “really?” I wanted the 1000% security and was looking in the wrong direction, but a chat with one of the priests helped me and I was able to say “Yes” again, because it simply is perfect for me - it literally takes everything in my life and puts it all together! It’s just brilliant! And the signs along the way… I look back and think “How could I doubt?” anyway, I realised also that a vocation is a totally unique and utterly individual thing - a most beautiful adventure of a lovestory between God and your soul. And there’s plenty of help in talking to others, and listening to their stories, too. And I’m sure you know that by now. The most important thing I found was to be calm, at rest and at peace (without being lazy, which is what you seem to try at least) and thus to be able to listen to God. To take that time. Look back, see where God has been leading me, and trust that he is leading me, even when I haven’t a clue as to where he’s guiding me next

Apart from that, there are - you might have heard of or even tried them - some online test to help you discern, in particular the religious vocation. And as some have already said, that is somewhat different from the diocesan priesthood calling. And you may not necessarily be called to the religious life - best thing I guess is to spend a month or two with some order, and see how religious life suits you. I knew I needed the community, I wouldn’t have been able to do the priest life on my own! It’s too hard! And I know in other ways, that God wants me in Community - I just have it on my heart, it’s me! You have to know. But perhaps these sites will help you and give you some ideas and pointers (and remember it’s nothing more, the real stuff of your discernment is to listen to God and to your Heart! no one can tell you where to go and what to do - they can only help you listen and understand God’s calling!)

mpdinc.org/index.jsp
home.catholicweb.com/testyourcall/
vocationsplacement.org/

Also this one is a “Match Finder” for religious communities! You can fill in the things that you think are important for you, and that God is calling you to, and they give you a list of potentially suitable orders. They don’t have all the orders in there - the Institute for example isn’t on their list And I have sometimes had trouble using their site, it wouldn’t work, or crash… But try and see
vocation-network.org/match

Anyway, I’ll be praying for you, as I pray for vocations every day, and I’ll remember you in particular!
Let us know how you get on, and don’t forget in all the huddle-muddle, that it IS a beautiful adventure love story between God and your soul!

Much love in Jesus and Mary,
Andreas