S
symPhonic47
Guest
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I have suffered from bipolar disorder all of my life. I am 60 years old now and I was first hospitalized at 15 for this disorder. I was hospitalized again in my early 20s during which time I was given ten shock treatments because of my profound depression.
Suicide and mental illness run in my family. Yet, I have managed by the grace of God to work for almost 40 years and to have as normal a life as possible with the help of medication. I have only been hospitalized once since my 20s for severe depression. This occurred in 2002 when I lost my job in my 50s. I have been gainfully employed since shortly after I left the hospital in 2002. Three medical doctors put me on disability but I went back to work and cancelled the disability as soon as the nine month trial period was over.
I grew up mainly with only my nuclear family around–father, mother, brother and myself. My older brother (14 months older) is the only member of this family left and many others that lived far away from us are also gone now. I have tried to stay on good graces with my brother because I have so little family left (he has three children and is divorced from his second marriage).
This Easter weekend I was sick. I was very depressed and experiencing a great deal of anxiety. I try not to burden my brother with my cares. Indeed, I never hear from him unless I contact him in some way. He spends his time fishing in Florida where he has a home in the Keys.
My brother’s girlfriend committed suicide with his gun about eight years ago. Then a few years later his oldest son (he had four children originally) committed suicide by hanging himself in the closet of the hotel closest to my brother’s house in the southeast. He left behind a wife and a boy of six and a girl of three. He was a wonderful young man and I believe the medication the psychiatrist gave him played a large role in his suicide because he was one thousand per cent devoted to his children.
You can not get my brother’s attention or I can not for any length of time. He is generally surrounded by a lot of hanger ons like around Anna Nicole Smith (my brother is extremely wealth). I also think neither his girlfriend nor his nephew had much luck getting his attention before their untimely deaths. The hanger ons eat up all his time but this is how he chooses to live. These people come and go and some of us who stay with him such as my nephew and myself get little attention from him.
Anyway, I called my brother over the Easter week because I was really suffering. I called several times. He never called me back. He was busy fishing with his “party pals”. Finally, on Saturday I left a message that one must be pretty cruel to ignore the sufferings of his own family. When he got in from fishing, he called and left a message that he had just received a really nasty message and that he still loved me and to call him sometime.
I called the next day, Easter Sunday, and stated that I was sorry if I had hurt him or some words to that effect…that I still loved him…but he obviously has other priorities than me and my suffering and that that hurt…that was why I had left the message I had…I advised him that he did not need to call me back because he just has other priorities (this is what one psychologist who saw him in his hometown and one psychiatrist whom I saw in his hometown have advised me). I advised him that I just had to accept the fact that he has other priorities.
So essentially I have decided not to call him or e-mail him (usually a one-sided deal most of the time) anymore…I feel really badly and depressed about all of this but it is also very depressing to keep trying to communicate with someone who values hangers on who come and go more than he values his own sister who stood by him when practically the whole world walked out on him…
I thank him profusely for the good things he does for me…I never receive thanks from him and rarely ever receive thanks from his children (except for his nephew who passed away) no matter how much I do for them…yet, he calls me an ingrate if I question any of his behavior, which even the elders in the family do not approve of…
I feel like I should repent or confess but what am I to turn from? If I continue to try and contact him, the outcome will not be any different…he will clearly if he picks up the phone at all only have a minute or two to speak with me before he drifts to the hanger ons…
So, I don’t know what I am supposed to do as a Catholic…I know you can pray for him…and I have prayed for him…right now I have to ask God to help me pray for him because it is hard to keep reaching out to someone who does not appear to care enough about you to even pick up a phone when you are suffering…
Please advise if you can…
Thank you…
Symphonic
I have suffered from bipolar disorder all of my life. I am 60 years old now and I was first hospitalized at 15 for this disorder. I was hospitalized again in my early 20s during which time I was given ten shock treatments because of my profound depression.
Suicide and mental illness run in my family. Yet, I have managed by the grace of God to work for almost 40 years and to have as normal a life as possible with the help of medication. I have only been hospitalized once since my 20s for severe depression. This occurred in 2002 when I lost my job in my 50s. I have been gainfully employed since shortly after I left the hospital in 2002. Three medical doctors put me on disability but I went back to work and cancelled the disability as soon as the nine month trial period was over.
I grew up mainly with only my nuclear family around–father, mother, brother and myself. My older brother (14 months older) is the only member of this family left and many others that lived far away from us are also gone now. I have tried to stay on good graces with my brother because I have so little family left (he has three children and is divorced from his second marriage).
This Easter weekend I was sick. I was very depressed and experiencing a great deal of anxiety. I try not to burden my brother with my cares. Indeed, I never hear from him unless I contact him in some way. He spends his time fishing in Florida where he has a home in the Keys.
My brother’s girlfriend committed suicide with his gun about eight years ago. Then a few years later his oldest son (he had four children originally) committed suicide by hanging himself in the closet of the hotel closest to my brother’s house in the southeast. He left behind a wife and a boy of six and a girl of three. He was a wonderful young man and I believe the medication the psychiatrist gave him played a large role in his suicide because he was one thousand per cent devoted to his children.
You can not get my brother’s attention or I can not for any length of time. He is generally surrounded by a lot of hanger ons like around Anna Nicole Smith (my brother is extremely wealth). I also think neither his girlfriend nor his nephew had much luck getting his attention before their untimely deaths. The hanger ons eat up all his time but this is how he chooses to live. These people come and go and some of us who stay with him such as my nephew and myself get little attention from him.
Anyway, I called my brother over the Easter week because I was really suffering. I called several times. He never called me back. He was busy fishing with his “party pals”. Finally, on Saturday I left a message that one must be pretty cruel to ignore the sufferings of his own family. When he got in from fishing, he called and left a message that he had just received a really nasty message and that he still loved me and to call him sometime.
I called the next day, Easter Sunday, and stated that I was sorry if I had hurt him or some words to that effect…that I still loved him…but he obviously has other priorities than me and my suffering and that that hurt…that was why I had left the message I had…I advised him that he did not need to call me back because he just has other priorities (this is what one psychologist who saw him in his hometown and one psychiatrist whom I saw in his hometown have advised me). I advised him that I just had to accept the fact that he has other priorities.
So essentially I have decided not to call him or e-mail him (usually a one-sided deal most of the time) anymore…I feel really badly and depressed about all of this but it is also very depressing to keep trying to communicate with someone who values hangers on who come and go more than he values his own sister who stood by him when practically the whole world walked out on him…
I thank him profusely for the good things he does for me…I never receive thanks from him and rarely ever receive thanks from his children (except for his nephew who passed away) no matter how much I do for them…yet, he calls me an ingrate if I question any of his behavior, which even the elders in the family do not approve of…
I feel like I should repent or confess but what am I to turn from? If I continue to try and contact him, the outcome will not be any different…he will clearly if he picks up the phone at all only have a minute or two to speak with me before he drifts to the hanger ons…
So, I don’t know what I am supposed to do as a Catholic…I know you can pray for him…and I have prayed for him…right now I have to ask God to help me pray for him because it is hard to keep reaching out to someone who does not appear to care enough about you to even pick up a phone when you are suffering…
Please advise if you can…
Thank you…
Symphonic
Don’t forget to ask for help praying for yourself, too. I know when I’m depressed I have a hard time asking God for help for my own sake.