J
JDGaney
Guest
Hi. I posted something about this before, but I have OCD and would like to be reassured.
I spent several months trying to prove God’s existence, and after that, I became involved in doctrinal pursuits. This also meant I was opened to the world of Fundamentalist Christianity, namely Jesus-is-savior.com and CAnswersTV. One of my best friends is an evangelical and he would ask me: where is purgatory in the bible? Etc. I spoke with him about Marian apparitions and saintly miracles, and he said an honest truth: if its not God it’s probably the devil.
I started to wonder about devilish tricks and I wondered if satan was behind everything ad that Jesus was a trick, and I panicked, becAuse carm said that to do such a thing was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, unforgivable. I get compulsions to call satan lord and pray to him, in the sense that God would not say yes to me and the devil would. Te more I tried beating this via prayers I learned in Catholicism, I wanted to check with bible Christians to see if it was okay, and I always felt like I was wrong.
Now I was also struggling with my sexuality, while I deep down inside still had feelings for girls, and I had OCD in the sense I was trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was gay, and felt gay. Despite my feelings I never felt any urge to have sex or pleasure myself. But I despaired so much and said you know what? Take it, satan! Give me my heterosexuality back. And what’d ya know? It returned.
But I later wanted to repent. I had no idea where to run. I felt with conviction in my heart in high school that the Catholic Church was the church, ad I sought to prove it right. But Dave Hunt and company caused me to think I was wrong. Despite listening to lectures by Steve Ray, Scott Hahn, jimmy Akin, and Tim Staples, further proving Catholicism, instill felt like I was in a satanic system.
I keep manipulating myself into thinking I’m praying to satan. I’m saying the creed? I’m saying it to satan. Our father? I’m praying with satan!
What do I do? My priest told me to live an active Christian lifestyle by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. my compulsions still exist and I worry that when I flirt with a girl I am damning myself.
I spent several months trying to prove God’s existence, and after that, I became involved in doctrinal pursuits. This also meant I was opened to the world of Fundamentalist Christianity, namely Jesus-is-savior.com and CAnswersTV. One of my best friends is an evangelical and he would ask me: where is purgatory in the bible? Etc. I spoke with him about Marian apparitions and saintly miracles, and he said an honest truth: if its not God it’s probably the devil.
I started to wonder about devilish tricks and I wondered if satan was behind everything ad that Jesus was a trick, and I panicked, becAuse carm said that to do such a thing was blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, unforgivable. I get compulsions to call satan lord and pray to him, in the sense that God would not say yes to me and the devil would. Te more I tried beating this via prayers I learned in Catholicism, I wanted to check with bible Christians to see if it was okay, and I always felt like I was wrong.
Now I was also struggling with my sexuality, while I deep down inside still had feelings for girls, and I had OCD in the sense I was trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was gay, and felt gay. Despite my feelings I never felt any urge to have sex or pleasure myself. But I despaired so much and said you know what? Take it, satan! Give me my heterosexuality back. And what’d ya know? It returned.
But I later wanted to repent. I had no idea where to run. I felt with conviction in my heart in high school that the Catholic Church was the church, ad I sought to prove it right. But Dave Hunt and company caused me to think I was wrong. Despite listening to lectures by Steve Ray, Scott Hahn, jimmy Akin, and Tim Staples, further proving Catholicism, instill felt like I was in a satanic system.
I keep manipulating myself into thinking I’m praying to satan. I’m saying the creed? I’m saying it to satan. Our father? I’m praying with satan!
What do I do? My priest told me to live an active Christian lifestyle by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. my compulsions still exist and I worry that when I flirt with a girl I am damning myself.