Please help me!

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Gari_B

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My boy friend Thomas, who is 25 years old, has a mental illness in which he turns to the evils of drugs and alcohol. He befriends drug addicts and alcoholics. He isn’t a bad guy at all, but he is very lost. He suffers from depression and perhaps even bi polar, he was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He is paranoid as well. Please help me pray that he ends this drug and alcoholic evil living. Please pray that he finally finds God and Jesus and feels their healing love and light. My boy friend lives in a rooming house that is near the place where the darkness of drug/alcohol abuse resides. I think my boy friend feels that he isn’t good enough for good people, so that is why he befriends those who live in the darkness.
My boy friend needs to stop this evil and take good care of himself. He goes days without showering/brushing his teeth/cleaning his room. It’s so sad. Please pray with me so that he can change his life finally for the good and leave all the bad things far far behind him. Please pray that he finds strength and love and healing within our creator God’s love. Please please help us.

Thank you and bless you for reading and helping. ❤️
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
I am sorry about your boyfriend but you need a new one. There are too many red flags here and you will not be able to rescue him. If he is unwilling to get help to save himself, you need to move on. A good guy would not be doing drugs and alcohol and destroying his life. There is a difference in being a friend and being a girlfriend to someone doing drugs. I am not sure why anyone want to involve themselves with someone doing drugs in this mannor. He can’t be a equal partner to you and you need to stop the excuses of him as a really a nice guy. He isn’t marriage material for you. God has someone better and it isn’t someone with major drug and mental illness problem.
 
robwar said:
I am sorry about your boyfriend but you need a new one. There are too many red flags here and you will not be able to rescue him. If he is unwilling to get help to save himself, you need to move on. A good guy would not be doing drugs and alcohol and destroying his life. There is a difference in being a friend and being a girlfriend to someone doing drugs. I am not sure why anyone want to involve themselves with someone doing drugs in this mannor. He can’t be a equal partner to you and you need to stop the excuses of him as a really a nice guy. He isn’t marriage material for you. God has someone better and it isn’t someone with major drug and mental illness problem.
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Please take this advise, read it carefully , and please take the advise,
My wife has a nephew, his partner has been doing drugs, has numerous mental issues,
She can’t change,… Neither can your boyfriend, you can give them 100 chances,
You will be disappointed 100 times, please for your own peace ,move away from him,
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Praying for Thomas’ sake that the Lord may enable him to overcome his drug and alcohol issues.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Gari_B said:
My boy friend Thomas, who is 25 years old, has a mental illness in which he turns to the evils of drugs and alcohol. He befriends drug addicts and alcoholics. He isn’t a bad guy at all, but he is very lost. He suffers from depression and perhaps even bi polar, he was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He is paranoid as well. Please help me pray that he ends this drug and alcoholic evil living. Please pray that he finally finds God and Jesus and feels their healing love and light. My boy friend lives in a rooming house that is near the place where the darkness of drug/alcohol abuse resides. I think my boy friend feels that he isn’t good enough for good people, so that is why he befriends those who live in the darkness.
My boy friend needs to stop this evil and take good care of himself. He goes days without showering/brushing his teeth/cleaning his room. It’s so sad. Please pray with me so that he can change his life finally for the good and leave all the bad things far far behind him. Please pray that he finds strength and love and healing within our creator God’s love. Please please help us.

Thank you and bless you for reading and helping. ❤️
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A suggestion would be to have some distance from him. Instead of being his girlfriend, just be his friend. Whilst he is still using drugs, he is not in a position to be your boyfriend. He is incapable of looking after his self, let alone looking after you too. Maybe you could give him the number to an anonymous fellowship and tell him that if he wants to have a better life, then he needs to reach out and phone that number and do as they suggest.
You cannot save him from addiction. He needs to do the work. I would also suggest that you get the number for al-anon or Naranon. So that you,yourself have support and can chat freely with others that are experiencing what you are experiencing. They can help you.
Another thing…Do not give up hope. There are millions of people that recover from addiction. I know people that have been clean from drugs from 1 year, up to 50 years. Yes alot do not, but we don’t often hear about the people who do. Not everyone in an anonymous program shout out about being clean 5,10,15,20,30,40 and 50 years.

My programs message is this: The Narcotics Anonymous message is “that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live."

I have found this to be true. The lie is dead. We do recover.
I wish you all the best and you will be in my prayers. 🙂
 
I would also like to add. I have been clean coming up 21 months. My sponsor has been clean 22 years and her sponsor(my grandsponsor) has been clean 34 years. Good luck!
Oh I will email you some info on a website where you can get support and see for yourself that not all us alcoholics/addicts are hopeless cases that you need to steer clear of. Love and Hugs x
 
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
have faith keep praying , im sure your boyfriend wil turn out to be ok my prayers are with you
 
robwar said:
I am sorry about your boyfriend but you need a new one. There are too many red flags here and you will not be able to rescue him. If he is unwilling to get help to save himself, you need to move on. A good guy would not be doing drugs and alcohol and destroying his life. There is a difference in being a friend and being a girlfriend to someone doing drugs. I am not sure why anyone want to involve themselves with someone doing drugs in this mannor. He can’t be a equal partner to you and you need to stop the excuses of him as a really a nice guy. He isn’t marriage material for you. God has someone better and it isn’t someone with major drug and mental illness problem.
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anyone can change he just needs to se the light no one is god or bad some people are just lost and need to find their way back home
 
Hail Mary,
Full of grace,
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou amoungst women,
And blessed is the fruit of Thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of death,
Amen
 
Gari_B said:
Please pray that he finds strength and love and healing within our creator God’s love. Please please help us.

Thank you and bless you for reading and helping. ❤️
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+Dear God, I pray that Gari B’s friend who has a mental illness and is misusing drugs and alcohol, will be able to seek proper treatment, take the medication that will be prescribed for him and listen to the advice that professionals always give when it comes to mental illness, - not to use alcohol and other stuff. I pray that he soon will be able to open his heart for you, Lord, and that he may find good relationships in an AA group or similar. I also pray for Gari B to be strengthened in Your grace and to have the patience to stay in this until her friend “can stand on his feet”. May that not take too long, Lord. AMEN.+
 
jurekjurek said:
anyone can change he just needs to se the light no one is god or bad some people are just lost and need to find their way back home
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This is too simple. If you break your leg you don’t sit down and pray only. You will go to the doctor to get it treated and you will follow the doctors advice. You can pray as much as you want, but ** not as the only option**, because that would be to ask for a miracle. Gari B can support her friend, but if this never ends it is probably how he is, a person that is not motivated for treatment. People with mental illnesses also need friends, but if they never understand that they have to cooperate, it is not wise to be a too close friend. I mean not to long for the bells ringing for the future marriage. It might take some time to see that and if Gari B is so close to her boyfriend as it seems from her post, she should be included in his treatment. Then she can use time to see where the road goes from there …
 
a_Anita said:
This is too simple. If you break your leg you don’t sit down and pray only. You will go to the doctor to get it treated and you will follow the doctors advice. You can pray as much as you want, but ** not as the only option**, because that would be to ask for a miracle. Gari B can support her friend, but if this never ends it is probably how he is, a person that is not motivated for treatment. People with mental illnesses also need friends, but if they never understand that they have to cooperate, it is not wise to be a too close friend. I mean not to long for the bells ringing for the future marriage. It might take some time to see that and if Gari B is so close to her boyfriend as it seems from her post, she should be included in his treatment. Then she can use time to see where the road goes from there …
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^^^THIS.^^^

I could have said it any better, Anita.

From first-hand experience, someone very dear to my heart and who lives in my household has several serious mental disorders (without substance issues). BPD, depression, PTSD, BP and possibly more. She treats weekly with a therapist, monthly with a psychiatrist, and must take her meds like clockwork because if she doesn’t, she relapses and crashes into the ugliness of despair. It can takes weeks for her to recover from such a crash.

Mental illness is not evil, disgusting or ugly. All that old-world nonsense was common before the evolution of modern medicine, and “abnormal” adults and children were locked away in “sanitariums” and “asylums.” (Willowbrook?) **Not. Any. More. **

These issues are only as “bad” as diabetes, leukemia, osteoporosis, coronary artery disease, and any other physical disorder of the body, because the brain is part of the body. Please, do pray, and do encourage him to get help. He will not be able to recover from all these issues without the gifts provided by God to doctors who can help him. If he invites you to participate in his recovery, that’s great, but he has to hit bottom and make the decision to get the help he needs… and he must remove himself from temptation, as well. I do remember that this is in one of the main Catholic prayers…
 
Gari_B said:
My boy friend Thomas, who is 25 years old, has a mental illness in which he turns to the evils of drugs and alcohol. He befriends drug addicts and alcoholics. He isn’t a bad guy at all, but he is very lost. He suffers from depression and perhaps even bi polar, he was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He is paranoid as well. Please help me pray that he ends this drug and alcoholic evil living. Please pray that he finally finds God and Jesus and feels their healing love and light. My boy friend lives in a rooming house that is near the place where the darkness of drug/alcohol abuse resides. I think my boy friend feels that he isn’t good enough for good people, so that is why he befriends those who live in the darkness.
My boy friend needs to stop this evil and take good care of himself. He goes days without showering/brushing his teeth/cleaning his room. It’s so sad. Please pray with me so that he can change his life finally for the good and leave all the bad things far far behind him. Please pray that he finds strength and love and healing within our creator God’s love. Please please help us.

Thank you and bless you for reading and helping. ❤️
Click to expand...
 
Gari B,

Agreed, please listen to others here have with grace suggested you allow your boyfriend to find his way on his own. I will pray for him. However my biggest prayer is for you to step back and away from this very toxic person and he will bring you right down with him.

It is wise to walk away and surround yourself with like minded people who are healthy. It is unwise to think you can fix him OR that you have more power then his drugs and booze. You do not.

If you think you are not being a good Catholic or a spiritual person by waking away, you are very wrong.
Move on and pray for him. Staying with him will cause you great pain, agony and possible ruin.
Have you thought about the old saying “Guilty by association”.

He must first save himself by seeking solid treatment and want to be clean. So far he has chosen the drugs and booze. LET HIM GO.

I wish you well
 
jurekjurek said:
anyone can change he just needs to se the light no one is god or bad some people are just lost and need to find their way back home
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He can change if he gets a ton of help which probably would include an intensive (name removed by moderator)atient program. Likewise, he would have to move away from the temptations, old friends and habits. He also has to want to change deep within himself. Yes no one is hopeless but what was presented by OP didn’t look very promising and it is going to take a whole lot more than just coming on the internet and asking for prayers. Unfortunately, people do get involved with hard core users thinking erroneously that they will fix or rescue them. Nothing could be further from the truth. For OP’s own well being, she should think about her own future and what she wants in a husband and family and a current drug user shouldn’t be a prospect. What also was presented was a number of serious mental illness issues which should likewise cause her to rethink the boyfriend aspect to this.
 
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