PLEASE HELP: Mortal sin lust

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McatholicN

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Is this a mortal sin or is it not?

Whenever I see a girl I can’t help but look at her chest. My eyes just direct me there. Normally, I’ll turn away very quick but keep glancing back. I feel that if I even glimpse at a girl, I’m committing a mortal sin. I have stopped imagining things, though.

I just went to confession today, but it didn’t feel very gratifiying because I knew it would be near impossible to stay away from this.

I think I’m going to spend a couple hours tonight trying to attain perfect contrition. Any tips on how to make perfect contrition easier and how to know you’ve attained it?

Call me scrupulous, but this is the eternal condition of my soul.

Your response will be extremely appreciated, you can’t imagine how grateful I will be.

:crying:
 
bibleguy180 said:
Don’t worry about it! Attraction is totally natural. Bad thoughts for a second or two aren’t mortally sinful, either. It is only a mortal sin when you imagine those things and then dwell on them for sexual pleasure.
👍

EDIT: And read this: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=474707
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Thank you very much!

So you’re saying looking at a girl’s chest isn’t mortally sinful? Only lustful thoughts?

And would this still be a mortal sin if I thought that it was a mortal sin?
 
McatholicN said:
Is this a mortal sin or is it not?

Whenever I see a girl I can’t help but look at her chest. My eyes just direct me there. Normally, I’ll turn away very quick but keep glancing back. I feel that if I even glimpse at a girl, I’m committing a mortal sin. I have stopped imagining things, though.

I just went to confession today, but it didn’t feel very gratifiying because I knew it would be near impossible to stay away from this.

I think I’m going to spend a couple hours tonight trying to attain perfect contrition. Any tips on how to make perfect contrition easier and how to know you’ve attained it?

Call me scrupulous, but this is the eternal condition of my soul.

Your response will be extremely appreciated, you can’t imagine how grateful I will be.

:crying:
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For a mortal sin one needs…grave matter, full knowledge and complete consent…

all together.

To notice the a womans chest does not mean you have “lusted”

CCC 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

Yes Jesus tells us if you " look at a woman in order to lust…"…but just cause your eyes happen to be drawn to a woman’s chest does not mean you have lusted!

Often ones eyes are sort of “automatically drawn”…before you even know it.

(but yes take care…I am not saying "go ahead and look all ya what…of course…use a good custody of the eyes…but listen it is going to happen…your eyes will be drawn to women…and their form…this does not mean you have sinned…but certainly take care …so what is needed are the virtues of prudence…chastity…modesty…and patience)

Anyhow looking lustfully is looking and seeking sexual pleasure …lustful thoughts…that sort of thing…

Yes one needs a “reasonable” custody of the eyes…

(and this can increase in a “good” way with practice…not stress…)

(particularly if the person is very immodestly dressed…)

Knowing how to see “the person”…binding everything to the person…knowing when to look away…avoiding the near occasions…knowing yourself…avoiding undue curiosity …being modest…

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P8R.HTM

…the fact that you happen to have your eyes catch sight of a girl is not a sin of lust.

Oh…and do not stress about it…the more you think “I got to not look” the more likely you will see…so lighten up…think about God…if you happen see a beautiful Girl…thank God for her beauty…and keep walking…do not stress over it…

for this is a source of scruples for many a good man. And scruples are to be passed by like a barking dog…
 
If a sexual thought comes uninvited…just keep walking…and do not consent…turn your mind elsewhere…no matter how long such uninvited guests knock at the front door…just do not consent…just go read a book in the back room …🙂
 
One “can” of course lust by looking at a girls chest…so yes it can be a mortal sin…but you seem to be describing not that…

there you are and you see some girl…and you happen to notice her figure…and you realize this…and you quickly turned away…

that does not sound like you lusted…🙂
 
Thank you very much!

But was what I did mortal since I thought it was mortal? I didn’t really know for sure.

Can I receive Communion tomorrow?
 
McatholicN said:
And would this still be a mortal sin if I thought that it was a mortal sin?
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Even if you thought it was mortal…where in your description is the complete consent…you looked away AS SOON AS YOU COULD…you were unhappy at being “tempted”…even feared …

Remember one needs also that full consent…(of course I am not your conscience…I can not see inside you…but that is something to consider)

(again read my longer post above…as to what to do)
 
The problem is though, that I looked back, and at times did turn to look purposefully.
 
its good that you are conscious, it means you know what you are doing wrong and can work to correcting the problem

it seems the problem stems from a bad habit. i know, i have many bad habits. but since you are already aware that they are bad habits, you can work on correcting them. you can’t fix yourself overnight. you may be “ogling” at women since you were a teen and for some time after that. so this habit was formed long ago. back then you may not have thought it was wrong, and let he habit grew. its like smoking, when you realized smoking is bad you can’t stop right there and then.

just continue working on your self. pray when you feel you are being tempted, or even in the middle of being tempted and giving in. ask God to give you strength and that you want to break free from the bondage of this bad habit. it will take some time, but because you have the will to break the habit, you will eventually. keep praying. don’t worry about breaking the habit immediately, it won’t prevent you from achieving perfect contrition. though you may fall into sin again, it only shows you are human. but because you have a desire to break the bad habit, then you’re heart is in the right place. you will one day break free. keep praying, keep striving to free yourself from the bad habit
 
… and don’t forget to pray. It’s the most powerful weapon against the “lust”. The attraction is natural but when you “dwell” in it to get the “pleasure”, that’s sin in there (as long as you willed to sin).

… and of course: PRAY.

… finally, PRAY. Bless the beauty and praise the Maker, the Source of all beauty and good.
 
You know, we’re all creatures of God, and we were made male and female. Females were made to be attractive to males, and that is not disordered. Nor is it disordered that some females are more attractive to males than others. We’d want to be careful, therefore, in putting ourselves in a position where nature is disordered.

In this society, it’s going to be darned near impossible for most males not to cast a fleeting glance, as a lot of young women are dressed in a manner that, consciously or not, is calculated to draw that glance. Shoot, some wear clothing that more than does that and which is printed with messages that are pretty much calculated to plant a seed of improper thoughts.

For most Catholic men, this isn’t going to be any sort of a real problem. Just looking for that moment isn’t much more than that. You’d have to be following your thoughts with your eyes, and I think you’d know if you were doing that. Looking at a girl on the street, after all, isn’t like going to 7 11 and buying Hustler magazine or something.

I’ve heard Priests comment on this and note that if a man finds themselves plagued by improper thoughts in this context, and I don’t know that you are, the thing to do is to acknowledge that we’re men with an instinct, but then go on and plant the counter thought noting that beauty is God’s creation, to be used and admired in a proper context, and move on.

So, in short, I wouldn’t worry too much about what you’ve described. I might worry a bit about becoming scrupulous, as that isn’t a good thing.
 
McatholicN said:
Thank you very much!

But was what I did mortal since I thought it was mortal? I didn’t really know for sure.

Can I receive Communion tomorrow?
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No, just because you think something is a mortal sin does not make it a mortal sin. If I think that brushing my teeth is a mortal sin that doesn’t mean that it is, it simply means i I am misinformed
 
McatholicN said:
Thank you very much!

But was what I did mortal since I thought it was mortal? I didn’t really know for sure.

Can I receive Communion tomorrow?
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From JAW642 on 07/18/2010

To McatholicN – And to all the other young scrupulous posters on CAF, namely, Coolcatholicguy, cooldude777, Lefty22, thememphisman etc. ]

You said in your Original Post, that you were scrupulous. I certainly do agree that you are extremely scrupulous. Please stop torturing yourself like that. God does not want you to live your life this way. Please stop treating God like He was your worst Enemy. He is not looking down from Heaven, waiting on every action you do, and hoping for you to screw up so that He can put you into Hell for all of Eternity. Please stop believing that God is like that, or that He is a God that wants you to Fear Him, rather than to Love Him.

God has designed you to be a normal male, with normal male emotional and physical reactions. God has designed the female body, to get males to look at it and to be interested and quite often aroused.

It is not at all sinful for you to look at any girl’s chest, and to compare it to other female chests that you have seen in the past. I believe this is basically what you are doing, and it is simply a normal curiosity or comparison, rather than a lustful act. It is not wrong for a male to admire God’s handiwork, by looking at a girl’s beautiful body. Most males do this all the time, almost unconsciously, without giving it a second thought. And it certainly does not mean that God is going to put us all into Hell.

Would you think that it was a mortal sin, if you looked at some male body builders, posing on television, comparing yourself and saying to yourself, ‘Gee, I wish I could look as good as all of these guys’. Chances are, even though most guys will not admit that we do this, we all secretly glance at the size of each body builder’s genitals, and we mentally compare them to our own genital size and shape.

Therefore, looking at any Female’s chest, or even entire body, is NOT a mortal sin, so you do not need to attain perfect contrition every time you do this. It is a very normal male pastime or activity. This is simply the way God has made us.

McatholicN, you asked :

But was what I did mortal since I thought it was mortal? I didn’t really know for sure.

Can I receive Communion tomorrow?

I cannot believe how this activity could be a mortal sin for you. “I didn’t really know for sure”, is evidence that it cannot be mortal sin. Even if in your thought process, you MOMENTARILY had a thought that you may be committing, or may have committed, a mortal sin, that is not sufficient to make you guilty of a mortal sin.

You cannot GUESS that you have committed a mortal sin. You cannot commit a mortal sin in a glance of a short period of time, or by Accident. You have to KNOW POSITIVELY & FULLY that you are committing a mortal sin, and then deliberately and willfully continue to do it to. If you are not extremely and unquestionably POSITIVE that you have committed a mortal sin, then you simply CANNOT be guilty of committing a mortal sin.

You know that for a sin to be mortal, it has to be seriously wrong, which this is NOT. And you need FULL knowledge and FULL consent. The knowledge and consent can not be in doubt, or fleeting or instantaneous. Just the fact that you are asking these questions, means that you are not sure of whether your actions were mortal or not. Therefore, they cannot be mortal sin.

Please realize that God knows that you are a young male, and that He loves you anyway !

From JAW642 on 07/18/2010
 
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