Please help need quick advice about job

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misspriss

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Okay. DH and I have two children, 3 and 9 months. When the first was born, I continued to work, and did so until my second child was born. I was making $45K and DH was making around $10K which was “extra”. He took a job making $40K shortly before I quit working, which turned out to only pay around $36K take home - but with some bonuses quarterly.

His job is tough on the family, he is a field rep and drives to some odd 70 stores. Some days he is gone 11 hours, although an average day is around 8-9. Sometimes 6 days a week. We don’t eat dinner until he gets home, which makes dinner late, or if we do eat dinner before he gets home it is difficult. He still has to do reports from home and conference calls outside of the time he is expected to work in store. He struggles with taking a lunch because he is on the road and spends a lot on fast food lunches. He is constantly stressed and his car is failing him, and the miles are not helping. There is no prospect for raises or advancement in his job.

He got an offer for a job that will keep him local, which means his car may last a little longer. He will be able to take a hot lunch and sit down and eat it not on the road. He will work 8-5, no overtime. He will be home at the same time every night, home in time for dinner, home in time to help with baths and bedtime stuff. He would get health insurance (he has none).

The only problem is they are only offering 32.5. We are struggling at 36K. He has figured that he can negotiate a little more, but not much. They want an answer by tomorrow.

I don’t know if we can handle the reduction in finances, we are struggling so much already, our financial situation has caused a great deal of anxiety for me. BUT, I want him to have this job so bad. Our expenses will go down (gas, fast food, etc), and I think we would be okay, but it would be even tighter. I just really want him to have this job, well or any other job than the one he has, it is really stressful

I don’t know, I just don’t have anyone to ask or talk to about this. DH is at work all day, we are going to talk about it tonight, but I want to kind of have an idea what it would be like or what to think before. Any advice or prayers would be welcome, thanks.
 
What is your living space like? I’ve met women with families where they sold their house and lived in an apartment until they were more financially secure. A mortgage can be costly, and with an apartment you know you can always leave in the future when you’re able.
 
spunjalebi said:
What is your living space like? I’ve met women with families where they sold their house and lived in an apartment until they were more financially secure. A mortgage can be costly, and with an apartment you know you can always leave in the future when you’re able.
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We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell right now, we started some renovation projects when we bought it and they have to be finished before we can list, but that is already in the plan. Thanks for the advice!
 
I’m assuming you and him already have something like a five year outlook. What do you want to be doing in five years etc… Look very closely at the path that this offered job will take him. Is it in the direction you want to go?

He could always take the job and still continue looking for something with more pay.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
I’m assuming you and him already have something like a five year outlook. What do you want to be doing in five years etc… Look very closely at the path that this offered job will take him. Is it in the direction you want to go?

He could always take the job and still continue looking for something with more pay.
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Yes.
 
misspriss said:
Okay. DH and I have two children, 3 and 9 months. When the first was born, I continued to work, and did so until my second child was born. I was making $45K and DH was making around $10K which was “extra”. He took a job making $40K shortly before I quit working, which turned out to only pay around $36K take home - but with some bonuses quarterly.

His job is tough on the family, he is a field rep and drives to some odd 70 stores. Some days he is gone 11 hours, although an average day is around 8-9. Sometimes 6 days a week. We don’t eat dinner until he gets home, which makes dinner late, or if we do eat dinner before he gets home it is difficult. He still has to do reports from home and conference calls outside of the time he is expected to work in store. He struggles with taking a lunch because he is on the road and spends a lot on fast food lunches. He is constantly stressed and his car is failing him, and the miles are not helping. There is no prospect for raises or advancement in his job.

He got an offer for a job that will keep him local, which means his car may last a little longer. He will be able to take a hot lunch and sit down and eat it not on the road. He will work 8-5, no overtime. He will be home at the same time every night, home in time for dinner, home in time to help with baths and bedtime stuff. He would get health insurance (he has none).

The only problem is they are only offering 32.5. We are struggling at 36K. He has figured that he can negotiate a little more, but not much. They want an answer by tomorrow.

I don’t know if we can handle the reduction in finances, we are struggling so much already, our financial situation has caused a great deal of anxiety for me. BUT, I want him to have this job so bad. Our expenses will go down (gas, fast food, etc), and I think we would be okay, but it would be even tighter. I just really want him to have this job, well or any other job than the one he has, it is really stressful

I don’t know, I just don’t have anyone to ask or talk to about this. DH is at work all day, we are going to talk about it tonight, but I want to kind of have an idea what it would be like or what to think before. Any advice or prayers would be welcome, thanks.
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  1. How big are these bonuses?
  2. Try to negotiate the new job up a hair–even a couple thousand more gets you very close, and (unless the bonuses are large) I think you might actually come out ahead, considering that it would free either you or him up to take a night job.
  3. I just saw the thing about health insurance. That’s potentially a big deal.
  4. Your husband’s job is ridiculous with regard to time away, pay and benefits for the pay.
  5. Also, if your husband is able to negotiate the new job up and if he’s willing to take the consequences, he can take the new offer to his old job and ask them to counter-offer. Make sure and have it worked out so he demonstrates that the hourly pay is higher, the expenses are lower, etc. It shouldn’t be hard to demonstrate. And he can point out that he was originally promised $40k.
Good luck!
 
1Lord1Faith said:
I’m assuming you and him already have something like a five year outlook. What do you want to be doing in five years etc… Look very closely at the path that this offered job will take him. Is it in the direction you want to go?

He could always take the job and still continue looking for something with more pay.
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We don’t have the 5 year plan we should have, we have around a 3 year shakey plan.

His best friend got him the interview and really pulled a lot of strings for him, so he feels like if he accepts he does need to stay there for a while.
Xantippe said:
  1. How big are these bonuses?
  2. Try to negotiate the new job up a hair–even a couple thousand more gets you very close, and (unless the bonuses are large) I think you might actually come out ahead, considering that it would free either you or him up to take a night job.
  3. I just saw the thing about health insurance. That’s potentially a big deal.
  4. Your husband’s job is ridiculous with regard to time away, pay and benefits for the pay.
  5. Also, if your husband is able to negotiate the new job up and if he’s willing to take the consequences, he can take the new offer to his old job and ask them to counter-offer. Make sure and have it worked out so he demonstrates that the hourly pay is higher, the expenses are lower, etc. It shouldn’t be hard to demonstrate. And he can point out that he was originally promised $40k.
Good luck!
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  1. Not too big, maybe $300-500/qtr
  2. He is planning to negotiate it up a hair, I think it will be close enough.
  3. Yes, he is uninsured. I have obamacare which is extremely expensive (although we are FINALLY getting “premium assistance” starting THIS month (I’ve had it since my 9 month old was born). And I don’t have dental or vision, he doesn’t have any at all. We both need dental work and wear corrective lenses, so we do need vision insurance as well. Our kids qualify for CHIP in our state, one for A (covers everything) and one for B (like insurance, it has copays and limits). If we make less money, both kids can be covered by A.
  4. Yes, and it’s salaried. So no matter how many hours he works…and he has “blackout periods” where he can’t even take sick time. He had to have two teeth extracted, out of pocket (no insurance), and he had to work late the next day and that weekend to make up the hours because he couldn’t use sick time.
  5. His job has changed management so many time since he took it and he is constantly worrying about being laid off. He works as a third party contractor for a mobile electronics company who is constantly threatening to take this part of their marketing in-house, it is not a very stable job. Or at least that is how he presents it to me. It wouldn’t be more per hour because they are only paid for “in store” time, not drive time (up to 2 hours one way for some locations) or admin time (reports from home).
Can you guys tell I really want to be able to make this job work? He is trying to come home as quickly as possible so we can discuss it tonight. It’s all I’ve thought about today.
 
misspriss said:
We don’t have the 5 year plan we should have, we have around a 3 year shakey plan.

His best friend got him the interview and really pulled a lot of strings for him, so he feels like if he accepts he does need to stay there for a while.
  1. Not too big, maybe $300-500/qtr
  2. He is planning to negotiate it up a hair, I think it will be close enough.
  3. Yes, he is uninsured. I have obamacare which is extremely expensive (although we are FINALLY getting “premium assistance” starting THIS month (I’ve had it since my 9 month old was born). And I don’t have dental or vision, he doesn’t have any at all. We both need dental work and wear corrective lenses, so we do need vision insurance as well. Our kids qualify for CHIP in our state, one for A (covers everything) and one for B (like insurance, it has copays and limits). If we make less money, both kids can be covered by A.
  4. Yes, and it’s salaried. So no matter how many hours he works…and he has “blackout periods” where he can’t even take sick time. He had to have two teeth extracted, out of pocket (no insurance), and he had to work late the next day and that weekend to make up the hours because he couldn’t use sick time.
  5. His job has changed management so many time since he took it and he is constantly worrying about being laid off. He works as a third party contractor for a mobile electronics company who is constantly threatening to take this part of their marketing in-house, it is not a very stable job. Or at least that is how he presents it to me. It wouldn’t be more per hour because they are only paid for “in store” time, not drive time (up to 2 hours one way for some locations) or admin time (reports from home).
**Can you guys tell I really want to be able to make this job work? **He is trying to come home as quickly as possible so we can discuss it tonight. It’s all I’ve thought about today.
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I don’t blame you. It does sound really lousy for the pay.

Hoping he can negotiate the new people up.

But if not, do you think that he is getting all available write-offs on his taxes?

Also, do you get a large tax refund? If so, can you reduce your withholding so that each month is more tolerable?

Also, if he isn’t able to get up his income, would you be able to do home daycare or some other type of work-at-home thing? It might be much more feasible if he’s actually home by 5:30 every day.

Good luck!
 
Would the health insurance he would get at the new job cover your whole family? That in itself is a hefty amount (even 1 person’s insurance these days is pretty hefty…). So it’s something to figure in when thinking about his pay.

Could you negotiate with the bank for a reduction of your mortgage payments? That is sometimes feasible if some equity has built up: the reduction comes from the insurance policy which will pay off the mortgage, for example.

Consider *both jobs vs expenses. When I had two little ones, daycare and transportation alone would have taken 85% of my take-home pay, but in a very expensive area so it ended up not making sense for me to work since I earned less than my husband.

The job he has now seems totally insane, and the expenses of the job may be outweighing the additional pay, so that is an aspect to look into. There are expenses which you may not yet have reached, such as $500+ for a new set of tires, but which need to be factored in.*
 
Xantippe said:
I don’t blame you. It does sound really lousy for the pay.

Hoping he can negotiate the new people up.

But if not, do you think that he is getting all available write-offs on his taxes?

Also, do you get a large tax refund? If so, can you reduce your withholding so that each month is more tolerable?

Also, if he isn’t able to get up his income, would you be able to do home daycare or some other type of work-at-home thing? It might be much more feasible if he’s actually home by 5:30 every day.

Good luck!
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I don’t think there is anything we can write off for the taxes, he is reimbursed for mileage so it is not deductible.

We do get a substantial tax refund, but hardly anything is taken out of his check. Like literally, I think they took $500 all year from this job. We just have two kids and are low income, so we get earned income credit and stuff.

I have some mental health issues and most days I find it very trying to watch my own two kids, there is no way I could watch more. I have thought about it though!x
St_Francis said:
Would the health insurance he would get at the new job cover your whole family? That in itself is a hefty amount (even 1 person’s insurance these days is pretty hefty…). So it’s something to figure in when thinking about his pay.

Could you negotiate with the bank for a reduction of your mortgage payments? That is sometimes feasible if some equity has built up: the reduction comes from the insurance policy which will pay off the mortgage, for example.

Consider *both jobs vs expenses. When I had two little ones, daycare and transportation alone would have taken 85% of my take-home pay, but in a very expensive area so it ended up not making sense for me to work since I earned less than my husband.

The job he has now seems totally insane, and the expenses of the job may be outweighing the additional pay, so that is an aspect to look into. There are expenses which you may not yet have reached, such as $500+ for a new set of tires, but which need to be factored in.*

Yeah, I feel my dislike for his current job my have colored my description of it a bit. I am afraid that I am being a bit biased. Some weeks his job is that bad, we just had a product launch AND the end of a period, so it was a huge push the past month or so, plus we were in a blackout period, and we had emergency dental stuff come up.

He does get reimbursed for mileage, after the first 35 miles and not the last 35 miles. Since gas prices are low the difference should pay for tires and stuff. He actually did get new tires before he started this job, but his car is failing. It’s near 200,000 miles and it’s left him stranded, failed to start, he’s had to get jumps (we replaced the battery recently), been stuck on the side of the road and had to be picked up…basically we need a new car if he keeps this job.
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I think he should take the job, after any last-minute negotiations. The health insurance and the lower travel-related expenses (including maintenance, mechanical breakdowns, and a possible need to replace the car soon) make the finances look better, and being home for dinner and family time is precious. I think it will be better for your mental health and his as well.
 
Beryllos said:
I think he should take the job, after any last-minute negotiations. The health insurance and the lower travel-related expenses (including maintenance, mechanical breakdowns, and a possible need to replace the car soon) make the finances look better, and being home for dinner and family time is precious. I think it will be better for your mental health and his as well.
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Agreed. You may find that the monthly take-home is pretty close considering his travel and work expenses.
 
misspriss said:
I have some mental health issues and most days I find it very trying to watch my own two kids, there is no way I could watch more. I have thought about it though!x

Yeah, I feel my dislike for his current job my have colored my description of it a bit. I am afraid that I am being a bit biased. Some weeks his job is that bad, we just had a product launch AND the end of a period, so it was a huge push the past month or so, plus we were in a blackout period, and we had emergency dental stuff come up.

He does get reimbursed for mileage, after the first 35 miles and not the last 35 miles. Since gas prices are low the difference should pay for tires and stuff. He actually did get new tires before he started this job, but his car is failing. It’s near 200,000 miles and it’s left him stranded, failed to start, he’s had to get jumps (we replaced the battery recently), been stuck on the side of the road and had to be picked up…basically we need a new car if he keeps this job.
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How about just after-school or holiday care? Schools often have weird half days and holidays that catch working parents unawares? School age kids can be quite civilized.

Bummer about the car–it’s an especially bad match for the job.
 
misspriss said:
Okay. DH and I have two children, 3 and 9 months. When the first was born, I continued to work, and did so until my second child was born. I was making $45K and DH was making around $10K which was “extra”. He took a job making $40K shortly before I quit working, which turned out to only pay around $36K take home - but with some bonuses quarterly.

His job is tough on the family, he is a field rep and drives to some odd 70 stores. Some days he is gone 11 hours, although an average day is around 8-9. Sometimes 6 days a week. We don’t eat dinner until he gets home, which makes dinner late, or if we do eat dinner before he gets home it is difficult. He still has to do reports from home and conference calls outside of the time he is expected to work in store. He struggles with taking a lunch because he is on the road and spends a lot on fast food lunches. He is constantly stressed and his car is failing him, and the miles are not helping. There is no prospect for raises or advancement in his job.

He got an offer for a job that will keep him local, which means his car may last a little longer. He will be able to take a hot lunch and sit down and eat it not on the road. He will work 8-5, no overtime. He will be home at the same time every night, home in time for dinner, home in time to help with baths and bedtime stuff. He would get health insurance (he has none).

The only problem is they are only offering 32.5. We are struggling at 36K. He has figured that he can negotiate a little more, but not much. They want an answer by tomorrow.

I don’t know if we can handle the reduction in finances, we are struggling so much already, our financial situation has caused a great deal of anxiety for me. BUT, I want him to have this job so bad. Our expenses will go down (gas, fast food, etc), and I think we would be okay, but it would be even tighter. I just really want him to have this job, well or any other job than the one he has, it is really stressful

I don’t know, I just don’t have anyone to ask or talk to about this. DH is at work all day, we are going to talk about it tonight, but I want to kind of have an idea what it would be like or what to think before. Any advice or prayers would be welcome, thanks.
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Without getting down to exact numbers it looks like a wash to me.

First job 36K Second job 32.5K. So only 3.5K difference. His annual cost of health insurance would easily be 3.5K. Not to mention add in the wear and tear on the car and you are looking at making less money on the first job. Also, sounds like the first job is sometimes more than 40 hours a week. If I were in your husbands shoes I would take the second job to decrease my stress and get home with the family and get a part time job on the weekend. 8 hours on Saturday at minimum wage is the difference in salaries if those numbers help you come to a decision.

Hope this helps.

God Bless
 
Your siggy says you are an accountant? Can’t you make some extra money at this time of year?
 
Thanks so much for all the replies.

When DH got home, we sat down and made a pros and cons list and decided that he should take the job based on that. He is going to attempt to negotiate but there were things he hadn’t even told me. There is basically no chance for advancement in his current job, at the new job they mentioned several times they may need someone to take an IT role in the future (not needed now but they are growing) and that he would be perfect for it, which is what he would prefer to do. He will be working in the office with his best friend’s brother (who he is also friends with), his best friend works at their office in another state but with the same company.

He and I both feel the reduced stress, the increased stability, and the health insurance benefits make it worth it.

Yes, I am a CPA, but I am currently inactive (I didn’t renew my license this year as active because I’m a SAHM). I also did not (and do not) specialize in tax. I will be honest, my mental health is keeping me from taking on anything extra right now. I suffer from anxiety, and it can be quite crippling. One of the things that is CAUSING me a lot of anxiety is my personal taxes for this year, I wouldn’t dare attempt someone Else’s taxes.

I’m hoping having more stability in my life and less worry (having health insurance for everyone) with help with my anxiety and perhaps I can get to a place where I can handle more than just watching my two kids. I hope.

Oh also he will have a $100K life insurance policy, which is generous of them.

I really need to update my signature more often, I haven’t done accounting since my daughter was born!
 
misspriss said:
Thanks so much for all the replies.

When DH got home, we sat down and made a pros and cons list and decided that he should take the job based on that. He is going to attempt to negotiate but there were things he hadn’t even told me. There is basically no chance for advancement in his current job, at the new job they mentioned several times they may need someone to take an IT role in the future (not needed now but they are growing) and that he would be perfect for it, which is what he would prefer to do. He will be working in the office with his best friend’s brother (who he is also friends with), his best friend works at their office in another state but with the same company.

He and I both feel the reduced stress, the increased stability, and the health insurance benefits make it worth it.

Yes, I am a CPA, but I am currently inactive (I didn’t renew my license this year as active because I’m a SAHM). I also did not (and do not) specialize in tax. I will be honest, my mental health is keeping me from taking on anything extra right now. I suffer from anxiety, and it can be quite crippling. One of the things that is CAUSING me a lot of anxiety is my personal taxes for this year, I wouldn’t dare attempt someone Else’s taxes.

I’m hoping having more stability in my life and less worry (having health insurance for everyone) with help with my anxiety and perhaps I can get to a place where I can handle more than just watching my two kids. I hope.

Oh also he will have a $100K life insurance policy, which is generous of them.

I really need to update my signature more often, I haven’t done accounting since my daughter was born!
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Oh, dear, I missed that you are no longer working :o I am sorry you are suffering from anxiety.

But it’s great that you and your husband were able to come to a good and mutual decision about this 🙂
 
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