Please help. Very confused about confession

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I have depression and am now VERY confused about the validity of confessions. I’ve learned after a long time of being in this state of mood, that learning is very difficult for me.

This is what I understand:
1.) Mortal sins must be confessed.
2.) Confessing a mortal sin prevents a person from going to Hell.
3.) If a mortal sin is confessed, but a venial sin is consciously omitted, the mortal
sin is absolved but not the venial sin even if the priest says “I absolve you of all
your sins.”
4.) Venial sins do not have to be confessed.
5.) Venial sins that are compounded can lead to committing a mortal sin.
6.) Venial sins that are not confessed will have to be purified by God before the
sinner can enter heaven.
7.) If a mortal sin is confessed, along with the number of times committed and the
sinner being sorry and has removed himself from again committing this mortal
sin, while at the same time, another but different mortal sin is NOT confessed at
the same sitting, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time, is not absolved
even if the priest says “I absolve you of your sin.”
8.) Referencing #6 above, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time must be
confessed again along with confessing all other mortal sins in the same sitting in
order for these mortal sins to be absolved.
9.) If someone forgets to confess a mortal sin from the past, the mortal sins
confessed in the mean time are not absolved.
10.) Referencing #8 above, if the forgotten mortal sins is finally confessed, all other
mortal sins confessed, must be confessed again alongside the forgotten mortal
sin in order for all the mortal sins to be absolved.

I am trying to understand making a confession after an “examination of conscience” but am confused as to whether any of my confessions have any validity at all. I was baptized and confirmed on the same day. Three years later, my parents were divorced. I remember attending Sunday school before I made my first communion, but I with all the other kids in that Sunday school class were left alone after a nun came in to see us sit at our desks and then left right away. So, I don’t remember receiving any first communion “Instruction” if there was any to have. A year after my first communion, I was molested twice by my biological father. My mother continued to raise me as Catholic until she left the church and aloud me to make my own decisions. I never attended Catechism classes, but have read the Catholic Catechism. I did come back to the church on my own some time ago, but lately I don’t know where I stand. I know I have a place in God’s mercy, but right now I’m filled with much anxiety.

Please correct me on any of the above numbered especially numbers 6, 7, 8 & 9. Thank you for reading my post.
 
I’m sorry you have had such a hard time in the past, but what a great thing that you are doing by deepening the understanding of your faith.

Re: forgotten mortal sins- don’t worry about it. If you forget a sin, the confession is still valid. If you remember it later, you should mention just the forgotten sin along with any new sins in your next confession, but this is nothing to stress about, even if you forget it again 🙂 We can’t possibly remember every sin, even the mortal ones.
 
May I respectfully say that you are making this too difficult. Confession is not about rules and keeping track. It is about being truly sorry for your sins, confessing them, and then trying to do better at being one with the Lord.

God will ALWAYS forgive you if you are sorry. This goes for mortal sins, venial sins, and sins you forgot to confess. All is forgiven when the priest absolves you. ALL your sins. Jesus is very merciful that way!

The reason for confessing forgotten sins is not because they haven’t already been forgiven. It is for the practice of being humble before God.

When you go to Confession, you are confessing new sins committed since your last Confession. Old sins, even forgotten ones, have already been forgiven from your last Confession. So in Confession, concentrate on confessing those new sins weighing on your heart. If you are not sure if one is venial or mortal, that’s OK. The priest will figure it out. The important thing is that you are contrite. And then feel the joy of being forgiven by our merciful God!
 
Remember that the Eucharist also relieves you of your venial sins.

Confession is scary but also very freeing and uplifting and a great way to renew your soul
 
Yes we are obliged to confess all our mortal sins in number and in kind…but
if you forget one or more mortal sins…such does not invalidate the confession.

Only if you are hiding that mortal sin. Your intentionally concealing it.

Forgetting …does not invalidate your confession. For one was sorry for all ones sins…and one just forgot.

One still has to confess that mortal sin in the next confession (after you remember of course…if you remember) but in the meantime such was absolved “indirectly” with the rest.

BUT only the mortal sins that were forgotten…not the others…

Now yes…if you intentionally hide a mortal sin…yes then one has to confess it…and the fact that you hid it …(we are talking about* mortal sins*) and all the other mortal sins in the confession and since then…

But you said you forgot. No worries. One one realizes this (and realizes that one need thus to confess it in the next confession) one just confesses it in the next confession “oh I forgot to confess such and such 2x”.

Jesus is the Good Shepherd…he loves you and gives us true life.

You have had a lot of struggles and pain…turn to the Good Shepherd more and more…he loves you…and also try to seek someone to help you perhaps professionally (catholictherapists.com/) and in regards to your confessions etc…you can also make an appointment outside of normal confession times…and sit down with Priest and ask him to help you…

as for venial sins…confess the ones you are sorry for …and remember too that such can be forgiven in many ways…prayer …Holy Communion…our reading of Sacred Scripture and other acts that increase our love of God…etc

Jesus Good Shepherd I hope in you!

Mary Star of hope pray for us
 
Dear one,
It’s good that you take the sacrament of confession seriously. Far too many do not I’m afraid.
As others have said, try not to worry. God understands that you are doing the very best you can. That said, I wll try to address the questions/understandings you have expressed…


  1. *]Mortal sins must be confessed. Yes
    *]Confessing a mortal sin prevents a person from going to Hell. Yes
    *]If a mortal sin is confessed, but a venial sin is consciously omitted, the mortal sin is absolved but not the venial sin even if the priest says “I absolve you of all your sins.” Yes. By consciously omitting the sin you are demsontrating a lack of contrition for it.
    *]Venial sins do not have to be confessed. Yes, but if you are going to confession you should confess all known sins whether mortal or venial.
    *]Venial sins that are compounded can lead to committing a mortal sin. Yes, through the gradual weakening of grace by consistantly rejecting it small ways. It’s a slippery slope.
    *]Venial sins that are not confessed will have to be purified by God before the sinner can enter heaven. Yes
    *]If a mortal sin is confessed, along with the number of times committed and the sinner being sorry and has removed himself from again committing this mortal sin, while at the same time, another but different mortal sin is NOT confessed at the same sitting, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time, is not absolved even if the priest says “I absolve you of your sin.” I do not believe this to be correct. Confessed sins are absolved regardless.
    *]Referencing #6 above, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time must be confessed again along with confessing all other mortal sins in the same sitting in order for these mortal sins to be absolved. No - assuming that the confession is in “good faith” (sins not deliberately withheld) the sins are forgiven and need not be repeated.
    *]If someone forgets to confess a mortal sin from the past, the mortal sins confessed in the mean time are not absolved. No - See above
    *]Referencing #8 above, if the forgotten mortal sin(s) is finally confessed, all other mortal sins confessed, must be confessed again alongside the forgotten mortal sin in order for all the mortal sins to be absolved. No - See Above
    I am trying to understand making a confession after an “examination of conscience” but am confused as to whether any of my confessions have any validity at all.
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    Assuming that all of your confessions were made to the best of your ability in accordancee with your understanding at the time, they are valid confessions. Nothing to worry about.
    I was baptized and confirmed on the same day. Three years later, my parents were divorced. I remember attending Sunday school before I made my first communion, but I with all the other kids in that Sunday school class were left alone after a nun came in to see us sit at our desks and then left right away. So, I don’t remember receiving any first communion “Instruction” if there was any to have. A year after my first communion, I was molested twice by my biological father. My mother continued to raise me as Catholic until she left the church and aloud me to make my own decisions. I never attended Catechism classes, but have read the Catholic Catechism. I did come back to the church on my own some time ago, but lately I don’t know where I stand. I know I have a place in God’s mercy, but right now I’m filled with much anxiety.
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    Please do not be anxious. You are securely in God’s grace.
    In matters such as these I am reminded of Jesus’ words that we mus receive the kingdom like little children. Surely we do not expect little childen to get everything exactly right all the time… But we do expect them to do their best.
    It is obvious that you are trying to do your best. This is what is pleasing to God.

    I hope some of this helps.

    Peace
    James
 
JRKH said:
*]If a mortal sin is confessed, but a venial sin is consciously omitted, the mortal sin is absolved but not the venial sin even if the priest says “I absolve you of all your sins.” Yes. By consciously omitting the sin you are demsontrating a lack of contrition for it.
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Wrong. One is not obligated to confess venial sins. Ever. Full stop. Failure to do so doesn’t mean they are unforgiven.

You can have many valid reasons for not confessing venial sins, to omit it doesn’t automatically mean you lack contrition.

One example - you might find a huge lineup for the confessional when you go, and as a result might choose not to take up the priest’s time by unnecessarily confessing a long list of venial sins. That’s a perfectly acceptable, in some circumstances even a laudable, reason to omit the venial sins. In that circumstance the venial sins aren’t unforgiven as a result, and not confessing them doesn’t mean you lack contrition for them.
 
Saphire said:
I have depression and am now VERY confused about the validity of confessions. I’ve learned after a long time of being in this state of mood, that learning is very difficult for me.

This is what I understand:
1.) Mortal sins must be confessed. Yes, all mortal sins must be confessed.
2.) Confessing a mortal sin prevents a person from going to Hell. **Repenting of mortal sin, confessing those sins, and receiving absolution remits the punishment of Hell. **
3.) If a mortal sin is confessed, but a venial sin is consciously omitted, the mortal
sin is absolved but not the venial sin even if the priest says “I absolve you of all
your sins.” **Venial sins do not have to be confessed, although it is good to do so. **
4.) Venial sins do not have to be confessed. That is correct. Venial sins are forgiven by receiving Holy Communion (in a state of Grace), and by other ways, such as saying a sincere Act of Contrition.
5.) Venial sins that are compounded can lead to committing a mortal sin. If we continually commit venial sins, without trying to overcome them, this constant state of sinfulness may, indeed, lead us to committing a mortal sin. We must constantly struggle to overcome our sinfulness.
6.) Venial sins that are not confessed will have to be purified by God before the
sinner can enter heaven. This is not true (see what was written re #4 above). However, any venial sins not forgiven before death (and attachment to all sins) will have to be will have to be purified in Purgatory before entering Heaven.
7.) If a mortal sin is confessed, along with the number of times committed and the
sinner being sorry and has removed himself from again committing this mortal
sin, while at the same time, another but different mortal sin is NOT confessed at
the same sitting, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time, is not absolved
even if the priest says “I absolve you of your sin.” **If the mortal sin not confessed was simply forgotten, then it is forgiven, but should be mentioned in confession after it is recalled. If the mortal sin not confessed was deliberately held back, for any reason, then, not only is that mortal sin not forgiven, but none of the mortal sins confessed in that confession are forgiven and the sin of sacrilege is added to the sinner’s soul. **
8.) Referencing #6 above, the ONE mortal sin confessed at THIS time must be
confessed again along with confessing all other mortal sins in the same sitting in
order for these mortal sins to be absolved. (I think you mean #7, not 6). As noted by me, above, if the mortal sin not confessed was deliberately held back, then the confession was a bad confession and invalid, so all mortal sins (including the one held back and the sin of a sacrilegious confession) committed since the last good confession must be confessed.
9.) If someone forgets to confess a mortal sin from the past, the mortal sins
confessed in the mean time are not absolved. Incorrect. If a sin is forgotten, both the forgotten sin and all those confessed are absolved, however, once remembered, the sin that was forgotten must be confessed.
10.) Referencing #8 above, if the forgotten mortal sins is finally confessed, all other
mortal sins confessed, must be confessed again alongside the forgotten mortal
sin in order for all the mortal sins to be absolved. No. See my comment at #9 above.

I am trying to understand making a confession after an “examination of conscience” but am confused as to whether any of my confessions have any validity at all. I was baptized and confirmed on the same day. Three years later, my parents were divorced. I remember attending Sunday school before I made my first communion, but I with all the other kids in that Sunday school class were left alone after a nun came in to see us sit at our desks and then left right away. So, I don’t remember receiving any first communion “Instruction” if there was any to have. A year after my first communion, I was molested twice by my biological father. My mother continued to raise me as Catholic until she left the church and aloud me to make my own decisions. I never attended Catechism classes, but have read the Catholic Catechism. I did come back to the church on my own some time ago, but lately I don’t know where I stand. I know I have a place in God’s mercy, but right now I’m filled with much anxiety.

Please correct me on any of the above numbered especially numbers 6, 7, 8 & 9. Thank you for reading my post.
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Welcome back to the Church. It seems to me that you need some instruction in the faith, since, although reading on your own is very good, it is easy to become confused. Perhaps you know a good priest who can assist you in this, or who may be able to recommend a good catechist to you.

Remember, while there are, and must be, rules, neither God nor the Church demands the impossible. We must confess all mortal sins that we can recall. If we forget one (particularly when we are examining our conscience after years of being away from the Church), this is forgiven - but if we later recall it, we must confess it at our next confession, simply to acknowledge it and express our contrition for it.

Be at peace.
 
jpjd said:
May I respectfully say that you are making this too difficult. Confession is not about rules and keeping track. It is about being truly sorry for your sins, confessing them, and then trying to do better at being one with the Lord.

God will ALWAYS forgive you if you are sorry. This goes for mortal sins, venial sins, and sins you forgot to confess. All is forgiven when the priest absolves you. ALL your sins. Jesus is very merciful that way!

The reason for confessing forgotten sins is not because they haven’t already been forgiven. It is for the practice of being humble before God.

When you go to Confession, you are confessing new sins committed since your last Confession. Old sins, even forgotten ones, have already been forgiven from your last Confession. So in Confession, concentrate on confessing those new sins weighing on your heart. If you are not sure if one is venial or mortal, that’s OK. The priest will figure it out. The important thing is that you are contrite. And then feel the joy of being forgiven by our merciful God!
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Very good. God bless:thumbsup:👍👍
 
LilyM said:
Wrong. One is not obligated to confess venial sins. Ever. Full stop. Failure to do so doesn’t mean they are unforgiven.

You can have many valid reasons for not confessing venial sins, to omit it doesn’t automatically mean you lack contrition.

One example - you might find a huge lineup for the confessional when you go, and as a result might choose not to take up the priest’s time by unnecessarily confessing a long list of venial sins. That’s a perfectly acceptable, in some circumstances even a laudable, reason to omit the venial sins. In that circumstance the venial sins aren’t unforgiven as a result, and not confessing them doesn’t mean you lack contrition for them.
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Thank you for the fraternal correction and example.
Indeed there may be valid reasons for not confessing individual venial sins…

NOt to confuse the OP any further, but may I suggest to anyone performing an examination of conscience that, if they have a “long list of venial sins” to confess, particularly if they are similar sins, that they might point to a deeper, and more serious underlying ingle sin.
I have often found that my venial sins are pointing me toward one of the seven deadly sins. By looking at this correlation, one can become more focused on the actual fault that needs to be addressed and at the same time shorten the list of sins to be confessed. And since they are called “deadly” sins, it’s safe to say that they are “mortal”.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Thank you for the fraternal correction and example.
Indeed there may be valid reasons for not confessing individual venial sins…

NOt to confuse the OP any further, but may I suggest to anyone performing an examination of conscience that, if they have a “long list of venial sins” to confess, particularly if they are similar sins, that they might point to a deeper, and more serious underlying ingle sin.
I have often found that my venial sins are pointing me toward one of the seven deadly sins. By looking at this correlation, one can become more focused on the actual fault that needs to be addressed and at the same time shorten the list of sins to be confessed. And since they are called “deadly” sins, it’s safe to say that they are “mortal”.

Peace
James
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Deadly sins…yes can be mortal …but not always…in fact some of them are usually not grave in ordinary life…

Rather the person should examine in terms of all the various grave matters (far more than the seven “deadly sins”)…
 
Remember that one is only obliged to confess a mortal sin.

So when you examine your conscience…start there. Am I conscious …of any mortal sins that I know of?

Then after that …ask what venial sins have I committed? And then pick some of these…but do not concern yourself with any detail. I would suggest you limit yourself… and not try to “get em all” … perhaps to what you can count on one hand or so. And then intend all your sins that you are sorry for in general…

"I accuse myself of lustful thoughts 2x

I also accuse myself ways I have not been good to my wife, of been impatient, of not working as well as I could, some intemperance and selfishness.

And all the sins of my life, especially against chastity and of anger (pick some category of sins your particularly sorry for from you life)."

Doubtful sins need not be confessed and are often recommended to those with scruples to not confess them…though it can be recommended that others confess them. If one does confess them say it is “doubtful” in some way.

If you forget a venial sin that you wanted to confess…but were sorry for all your sins…that it you were contrite for it…it was absolved…and need never be mentioned.

If say you want to confess a venial sin that you wanted to confess from before but forgot…you can just confess it if you like. But do not feel that you have to.

Also venial sins can be forgiven in many ways…such as the Our Father, act of contrition, reading Sacred Scripture, Holy Communion etc…though it is highly recommended to confess them…at least some of them …but I would not try to hunt them all down and round them all up for confession.

If you *forget *a mortal sin then you are obliged to confess it in the next confession once you remember (unless you forget it again!) But one need not run back to confession…such can be absolved “indirectly” in that absolution. For you either intended to be contrite for it and confess it…or in general you were contrite etc and not hiding it.

(Such is different that hiding it…see my post above)

Jesus loves us and gave us this great Sacrament! Rejoice and live the new life!
 
Bookcat said:
Deadly sins…yes can be mortal …but not always…in fact some of them are usually not grave in ordinary life…

Rather the person should examine in terms of all the various grave matters (far more than the seven “deadly sins”)…
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Agreed - but remember that I was addressing the idea of someone having a “long list of venial sins”…A venial sin oft repeated points to a more serious underlying problem that can usually be expressed as one (or combination) of the Deadly sins:
Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Anger, Gluttony, Sloth.
This idea is expressed in the OP’s point number 5) “Venial sins that are compounded can lead to committing a mortal sin.”

In fact, if I see this as an issue, I don’t even try to quantify the instances too deeply. I simply go in and discuss it with my confessor, expressing the deadly sin and perhaps the way if manifests itself mostly…He will then generally offer some good advice or suggestion for prayer and we move on to absolution.
 
JRKH said:
Agreed - but remember that I was addressing the idea of someone having a “long list of venial sins”…A venial sin oft repeated points to a more serious underlying problem that can usually be expressed as one (or combination) of the Deadly sins:
Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Anger, Gluttony, Sloth.
This idea is expressed in the OP’s point number 5) “Venial sins that are compounded can lead to committing a mortal sin.”

In fact, if I see this as an issue, I don’t even try to quantify the instances too deeply. I simply go in and discuss it with my confessor, expressing the deadly sin and perhaps the way if manifests itself mostly…He will then generally offer some good advice or suggestion for prayer and we move on to absolution.
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Yes the person should not worry about getting all his venial sins…these can be also said in a general way…
 
Thank you every one for your (name removed by moderator)ut and help. I am glad to have received confirmation of what I have learned and understand to be correct. I am also most thankful for the expanse of explanation of those points that were not so clear. I am glad to know that if I forgot to confess a mortal sin while at confession at some time ago, that I can go back to confession and mention the forgotten mortal sin. And yes, I’ve often wondered if a venial sin is ongoing, even if I did not know what I was doing, can become a mortal sin such as being most (name removed by moderator)atient while driving in traffic and yelling out some explicative within the confines of my mind. I can breath easier now.
 
Saphire said:
Thank you every one for your (name removed by moderator)ut and help. I am glad to have received confirmation of what I have learned and understand to be correct. I am also most thankful for the expanse of explanation of those points that were not so clear. I am glad to know that if I forgot to confess a mortal sin while at confession at some time ago, that I can go back to confession and mention the forgotten mortal sin. And yes, I’ve often wondered if a venial sin is ongoing, even if I did not know what I was doing, can become a mortal sin such as being most (name removed by moderator)atient while driving in traffic and yelling out some explicative within the confines of my mind. I can breath easier now.
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Right if one remembers a forgotten mortal sin…one confesses it in the next confession…

and remember that venial sins…well we will fall into so…we do not go long with out doing so…yes we must work against them…especially the fully deliberate ones! and seek to become better and better…but we do need the humility to know that without a special grace we will have some…hence we pray “Our Father who art in heaven…forgive us…” and all the other ways venial sins can be forgiven…(one is of course recommended to confess at least some of them directly in confession)…

remember too that being in Christ…being living in Christ…in a state of grace…we are holy…we are children of God…saints…children of light 🙂

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/angelus/2007/documents/hf_ben-xvi_ang_20071101_all-saints_en.html
 
Compendium of the Catechism issued by Pope Benedict XVI
  1. When does one commit a mortal sin?
1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.
  1. When does one commit a venial sin?
1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html
 
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