Please Help: Vows

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McatholicN

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Help would be greatly appreciated!

I am really struggling with the possibility that I may have made vows to God back two years ago when I was 12 and scrupulous for the first time. I’m thinking I may have vowed:
  1. To become a priest
  2. To never date, or do anything of the sort
    and the one that worries me most:
  3. To never have fun and pleasure
I talked to a priest mainly about the last one and he gave three reasons why the vows would be invalid:
  1. Because I am not certain that I made them
  2. Because I was not in a right state of mind
  3. Because giving up fun would not be a good thing to do
    I’m beginning to doubt these reasons. Here are some of my own:
    It would be disobeying my parents because my mom doesn’t want me to never have fun, therefore making the vow sinful and unacceptable
    I did not know how serious these vows were
If you could comment on these reasons or have points of your own, PLEASE share them. Official Catholic teaching would also be immensely helpful, though I have already read the sections on vows in the Catholic Encyclopedia, the Code of Canon Law, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. As I said, the main one is the sacrificing fun vow, but if you could give reasons on the other vows as well, that would be good.

I know that I could get them dispensed by my pastor, but it’s hard to follow through with these vows for even a matter of a couple days.

For more detail, please ask.

Thank you!
 
McatholicN said:
Help would be greatly appreciated!

I am really struggling with the possibility that I may have made vows to God back two years ago when I was scrupulous for the first time. I’m thinking I may have vowed:
  1. To become a priest
  2. To never date, or do anything of the sort
    and the one that worries me most:
  3. To never have fun and pleasure
I talked to a priest mainly about the last one and he gave three reasons why the vows would be invalid:
  1. Because I am not certain that I made them
  2. Because I was not in a right state of mind
  3. Because giving up fun would not be a good thing to do
    I’m beginning to doubt these reasons. Here are some of my own:
    It would be disobeying my parents because my mom doesn’t want me to never have fun, therefore making the vow sinful and unacceptable
    I did not know how serious these vows were
If you could comment on these reasons or have points of your own, PLEASE share them. Official Catholic teaching would also be immensely helpful, though I have already read the sections on vows in the Catholic Encyclopedia, the Code of Canon Law, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. As I said, the main one is the sacrificing fun vow, but if you could give reasons on the other vows as well, that would be good.

I know that I could get them dispensed by my pastor, but it’s hard to follow through with these vows for even a matter of a couple days.

For more detail, please ask.

Thank you!
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I think the priest you spoke to was right on and might this now be another case of being scrupulous?

To enter vows you must be in the “right mind” which being scrupulous you were not.
If you entered into vows you should remember that you did.
I do not think that vows that go against our own good are valid.
 
*"I am really struggling with the possibility that I may have made vows to God back two years ago when I was 12 and scrupulous for the first time. I’m thinking I may have vowed:
  1. To become a priest
  2. To never date, or do anything of the sort
    and the one that worries me most:
  3. To never have fun and pleasure "*
I don’t mean to laugh, but you are charming!

:flowers:

What a good kid :hug1:

What was your question?
 
Oh right.

Priesthood at 14 and never having fun.

Now…what are you considering to be fun (that you’re not allowed to have)?

You should speak with your confessor.

He may ask you to form close but chaste relationships with people, to test whether or not you are called to the priesthood.

Mother Teresa said we all are called to be saints and that we must be filled with joy. (Sounds like fun to me!)
 
I’m considering fun anything that brings me pleasure. Whether that be watching TV, to playing sports, to eating candy, etc.
 
Responses before 7:37 Central Time (Twins vs. Yankees Game 1) would be greatly appreciated! 🙂
 
😃

It would make you feel better, to explain to your priest, how you made a vow with God to become a priest a couple years back and now that you’re older you have many more questions.

I bet, you and your priest would have a lot to talk about.

Would you be comfortable doing that?
 
Yeah, I have talked to priests about it.

I’m kind of hoping for a quick response.
 
Here are some relevant canons from the Code of Canon Law.

Can. 1191 §1 A vow is a deliberate and free promise made to God, concerning some good which is possible and better. The virtue of religion requires that it be fulfilled.

§2 Unless they are prohibited by law, all who have an appropriate use of reason are capable of making a vow.

§3 A vow made as a result of grave and unjust fear or of deceit is by virtue of the law itself invalid.

Can. 1196 Besides the Roman Pontiff, the following can dispense from private vows, provided the dispensation does not injure the acquired rights of others;

1° the local Ordinary and the parish priest, in respect of all their own subjects and also of peregrini;

Can. 1197 What has been promised by private vow can be commuted into something better or equally good by the person who made the vow. It can be commuted into something less good by one who has authority to dispense in accordance with Can. 1196.
I really think Can. 1191 §3 applies and makes your vows invalid because you made the vows because you were scrupulous,

You have already had a priest tell you this and now you see the canon that applies.

I would stop shopping around for answers and either take the priest you spoke with at his word or ask your pastor to dispense you from these vows you may or may not have made.
 
To never have fun and pleasure!
If you completely deny recreation that is not sinful but wholesome, then you may cause harm to yourself. You are a complex human not an automation.

Note that even enclosed contemplative Orders of nuns and priests have a recreation hour each day at the very least!

And Jesus didn’t turn down the invitation to the Wedding Feast at Cana, nor did He resist the invitations of Martha and Mary to dine with them as friends.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2184 Just as God "rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had done,"121 human life has a rhythm of work and rest. The institution of the Lord’s Day helps everyone enjoy adequate rest and leisure to cultivate their familial, cultural, social, and religious lives.

2187 … everyone should still take care to set aside sufficient time for leisure. With temperance and charity the faithful will see to it that they avoid the excesses and violence sometimes associated with popular leisure activities…

I really don’t believe God wishes you to live without rightful fun and pleasure, and clearly, nor does the Church.

To never date! What if God is calling you to marriage! What is needed is determination to live according to the commandments of God, according to genuine love and God and neighbour, not to cut ourselves off form a possible means of living the vocation of marriage to which God may wish to call you.

To vow to be a priest. Unless God is calling you to the priesthood, it may be presumptuous to presume you can become a priest by will alone. Jesus made it clear throughout the gospel that it is God who calls men to the priesthood.

We can make vows that are not from God’s Spirit, and we shouldn’t go against Jesus’ example or God’s Spirit in favor of perhaps ill-advised vows. If we intend making a vow it may be advisable to first consult our priest or spiritual director. I doubt that God signed on the bottom line for those vows you made in good faith but perhaps ill-advisably. There is no doubt of your good will, and I ask God to bless you for your good intentions, but what we need is trust in God to lead us where He wills.
 
Wisdom of true conversion

Loving God, I know that Your love can free me from the self-imposed need to force my inclination and emotions into a pattern of love and virtue. Give me grace to strive faithfully, while trusting my efforts into Your care, allowing You to love me and to love others through me as You honor and glorify Yourself in me.

I do not seek to be ‘virtuous’ or ‘exemplary’. I seek to be to be Your living tabernacle.
Let me not be ‘candle’, but part of Your light that dispels all darkness.
Let me not be ‘wise’, but absorbed into Your wisdom and truth.
Let me not be ‘peaceful’ or ‘trusting’, but resting faithfully in Your peace and joy.
Let me not be ‘productive of good works’, rather, let me be actively responsive to every facet of Your love for me and for others, as vehicle of Your goodness for them.

I ask this true conversion of You, for “At night my soul longs for You and my spirit in me seeks for You.” [Isaiah 26:9]
 
Are you guys saying I should have them dispensed, or can I count them as null?
 
In the Hebrew Scriptures there is a story of a man who made a rash vow that led to his sacrificing his daughter.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jephthah
While it is a wiki link, it is a link you should use carefully as a research tool to insure you are getting correct information and not misinformation.
I do not tell you this to scare you, in fact quite the opposite is what I hope for.
Jesus gives believers every reason to rely on his mercy and understanding as he came in the flesh and knows you, personally. He knows your heart and intentions I have read in your catholic teachings.
If this is so, then you must take heart and trust that He knows you had excellent intentions but were for whatever reasons unable to make such a vow at that age.
Maybe this was meant to happen, so that you would understand the signifigance of vows.
I personally think, FWIW- that you are a brave and very good person for wanting to do such a wonderful thing. Even if you now realize it is premature to take such a path now.
There is always tomorrow, and you may return back to this desire at a later point.
Keep the door open.😉

You sound like a really good person. I wish you the best.
 
God is not playing NIGYSOB with us.

God desires our salvation and will do anything … has done everything … to help us. we have to respect that and trust and respond to Him
 
quasimodo said:
God is not playing NIGYSOB with us.

God desires our salvation and will do anything … has done everything … to help us. we have to respect that and trust and respond to Him
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For fear of asking a really really dumb question, I ask anyway.
What is NIGYSOB?

Trying to figure out what it means.
 
ByzCath said:
It depends. Do you trust the priest who told you that they are null?

If not speak to your pastor.
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I think priests these days are a little too lenient. Aside from that I think I trust him pretty well, but I think it’s just my scrupulosity worrying me. Whenever I think that I’ll go along and trust him I think “Well, what if I did make the vow?” and the severe consequences for breaking it. Until I can be absolutely sure that the vow is null, I’m going to get it dispensed.

I think it should be noted I doubt that I even ever made the vows.
 
McatholicN said:
I think priests these days are a little too lenient. Aside from that I think I trust him pretty well, but I think it’s just my scrupulosity worrying me. Whenever I think that I’ll go along and trust him I think “Well, what if I did make the vow?” and the severe consequences for breaking it. Until I can be absolutely sure that the vow is null, I’m going to get it dispensed.

I think it should be noted I doubt that I even ever made the vows.
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I doubt you are or were old enough to make such vows and have them be binding.
 
McatholicN said:
I think priests these days are a little too lenient. Aside from that I think I trust him pretty well, but I think it’s just my scrupulosity worrying me. Whenever I think that I’ll go along and trust him I think “Well, what if I did make the vow?” and the severe consequences for breaking it. Until I can be absolutely sure that the vow is null, I’m going to get it dispensed.

I think it should be noted I doubt that I even ever made the vows.
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Then I would leave it, either they were invalid or you did not make them. Did you read the canon law I posted?
CB_Catholic said:
I doubt you are or were old enough to make such vows and have them be binding.
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See Canon 1191 §2 "“Unless they are prohibited by law, all who have an appropriate use of reason are capable of making a vow”?

Canon Law does not have an age listed for vows.
 
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