Please Help: Vows

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In the 6th grade, a person may wish to orient one’s life toward the priesthood but often in the 6th grade we overpromise and underdeliver.

(I learned that in business, always under promise and over deliver, it satisfies everyone involved).

Your vow was too grandiose (young people and overweight people on January 1st of each year share this in common). “I’m going to exercise everyday and only eat healthy foods and I’m going to lose a pound a week and by Thursday May 12th I’m going to weigh 150 lbs.” I’ve continued to hit myself with that proverbial 2x4 most of my life.

You can vow to be a priest, you can refuse to date and you can punish yourself for being human by refusing to enjoy every aspect of your life. That dear, is a promise only a person in 6th grade would ever make.

You need to date, you need to live a happy and blessed life. From there, you will know whether or not you would make a great father to your own children or a great Father to a flock of people.

You must test your range of abilities to be with and to talk with all types of people. If you eventually decide to become a priest, you will be able to speak with them from the blessing of your life’s experience.

“Can. 1197 What has been promised by private vow can be commuted into something better or equally good by the person who made the vow.”

You, are in the process of wondering if you need to be a deeper, happier, more well rounded person. And perhaps one day, a priest.

P.S. Our lastest ordained priest, in our parish, was married (his wife passed to be with the Lord) and he has 4 grown children and one grandchild.
 
So, are you guys saying that these vows are null?

I just think feel if I play it safe and get them dispensed, that means that I agree that they are not null, and must follow through with them until dispensed, or I can assume they are null, but risk them being valid by not getting them dispensed.
 
Just talk to your priest and don’t make any more vows until you get married, enter religious life or become a priest.
 
Your vow, was between yourself and God.

Not between God, an ordained Bishop of His Church and you.

Confess your inability at the present time to fulfill your original vow: to become a priest, to never have fun, to never date).
 
So, can I go forth free of worry of committing sin by breaking these vows that I could’ve made?
 
McatholicN said:
So, can I go forth free of worry of committing sin by breaking these vows that I could’ve made?
Click to expand...
I agree with the other catholic posters that asked if you could get this cleared up by means of asking for dispensation.

I am still trying to figure out and navigate the details of how to go about this after reading your post.

Do you have to go to the Dean? Or Bishop? I have no idea what the protocol is.
Do you have a priest you are in a good talking relationship with to discuss this with?

Seek one out if you don’t. Or ask the priest here in Ask the Apologist if you can.
He may be able to help you.
 
You were 12 years old. Such vows are not binding.

When my future wife was in 8th grade, she made a promise during her prayers that if she were selected to crown the Blessed Virgin in the annual May ceremony, she would become a nun. She crowned the Blessed Virgin. She did not become a nun. But my prayers were answered!

Once, she told this to a priest friend of ours. He just laughed, and said, ‘honey, that sort of vow is not binding. You are where you belong.’
 
StrawberryJam said:
I agree with the other catholic posters that asked if you could get this cleared up by means of asking for dispensation.

I am still trying to figure out and navigate the details of how to go about this after reading your post.

Do you have to go to the Dean? Or Bishop? I have no idea what the protocol is.
Do you have a priest you are in a good talking relationship with to discuss this with?

Seek one out if you don’t. Or ask the priest here in Ask the Apologist if you can.
He may be able to help you.
Click to expand...
If you saw my post of Canon Law earlier in this thread you would see that according to Canon 1196 1°, the parish priest (pastor) may dispense from private vows. As there is no way these vows were public vows, as public vows are taken in a Church and the OP would not have any doubts if he made such vows, then he only needs to talk to his pastor, which has been suggested

I do not see why this thread has continued, either these vows are invalid, as a priest has already told him and the Canons I posted seem to support. If the OP does not like that answer the the other answer is to ask his pastor to dispense him from them, which the Canons also support and has been suggested numerous times.

I think it is time we stop feeding the OP’s scrupulosity.
 
Would I be committing mortal sin by having fun (therefore breaking the vow) since I am unsure about it?
 
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