Please help with my child at mass

[divinemercy1676]

Hello everyone, I have two children ages 6 and 4. The 6 year old is in first grade in catholic school. He has NO interest in the mass which is to be expected, I think. He is not usually disruptive at the mass thank GOD. My problem with him is his utter lack of respect and gratitude. It is not shocking to me that he is bored there, he has no real idea of what is going on. I have explained it to him many ways to no avail. When its time to leave for mass he goes out the door huffing and puffing. During the mass he lays on the pew and goes to sleep. I tell him he must stand sit and kneel with the rest of us, especially since he in going to Catholic school. He says its the same thing over and over again and he’s sick of it. He refuses to sing, he refuses to shake hands at the kiss of peace. He will literally turn his back on a neighboring parishoner… I whisper in his ear that he is not to be rude!!! The whole time he tugs on my sleeve and says can we leave now? Knowing fully well when mass is going to be over. I try to encourage him with words of God’s love and how God wants to just spend a little time with him. I tell him of Jesus’ sacrifice for him, for us all. I tell him of all the wonderful things God has given to us and we should just say thank you. Nothing seems to work. Now he doesnt want to say prayers before dinner. He tried to make a joke out of it but now he just sits in silence and huffs and puffs. I thought maybe i was being to strict with him causing him to fight back, knowing this will get under my skin the most. So I have tried backing off and letting him be indifferent.
I have talked to his teacher about the Religion curriculum and she assured me that next year they will be learning the parts of the mass which will give him more of an understanding and hopefully more of an interest.
Maybe I should just give up trying for now and be like my own parents. When we complained they said too bad you’re going. In time he will gain an appreciation for the mass.
My 4 year old son tries to participate knowing that it makes me happy. He tries to sing and kneel (but his face doesnt quite see over the pew in front of us). Maybe his brother resents the attention he gets and tries to do the opposite.
If I am to be completely honest with myself, he acts like a grumpy 16 year old rather than a 6 year old all the time. He is testing his limits in talking back to me and being rude to people. He acts as if nothing can effect him and he cares for nothing. I’m fed up and i have so many years to go!!! Can anyone offer any suggestions please??

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

Oh, you’ve got one of “those.” Me, too. Things got better during second grade. However, it sounds to me like he is pushing your buttons. One thing my dh does is make the kids play Mass. If they don’t behave in Mass, they have to come home and sit for 20 minutes in a chair.

One thing I might do is tell him that if he is non participatory in Mass, he doesn’t have to go. But…he has to sit in a chair facing the wall for the entire Mass time.

One of my boys is really fidgety, so I bribed him. I offered him $5 if he could keep his hands really still during Mass. Every time he waved them around, I subtracted a dollar. After three weeks, he got better. I told him it was just to help him develop better habits, so it wouldn’t be ongoing–he seemed to accept it.

We also useMagnifikids --a missal for kids. That really seems to help the kids.

I wouldn’t worry too much. Just make sure that he is polite and not distracting. Really, that is all you can do. His interior life is unfortunately not under your control.

God Bless you, Mom!

 

[scared]

When we returned to the church my son was that age. It was his idea to return, but became bored very quickly. We didn’t have to do much, the priest a very elderly you behave priest as him to be an alter boy, we were short so he sough dispensation from the bishop and it was granted. The Priest had some firm words with my son and a couple of the other servers who were older and fooling around. He only had to do it twice. Now when we attend our son much older will still want to be disinterented, but a gentle reminder of what the Priest said has him standing up and flying right.

Talk with the Priest if he is in Catholic school the Priest could speak to the whole class and instruct them on what is expected of them, and perhaps what would happen to them if they don’t.

scared

 

[Namid]

I was having problems this last summer with my 9 yr old. I have explained to her several time about paying attention at Mass and participating. I had taken her out of Mass and punished her Father has punished I was ready to pull my hear out. I came home about in tears and sit her down and put the Bible in front of her and said since you can’t give an hour at Mass you will give an hour here. I made her write for 1 hour. If she ever gets out of hand at Mass again I remind her she will write when she gets home if it dosn’t stop. It has gotten alot better.

 

[netmilsmom]

Do you have a husband?