Please help with our Pre Cana talk

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We volunteered (okay I did it but my husband says he’ll go along…) to give the talk on children at our parish’s Pre Cana. I was given a book with an outline as a guideline, but it’s all over the place. Where should we start? My biggest problem is that I do not feel qualified to talk about children as ours are 12 and under. Why should anyone listen to us? We aren’t even done yet! We’re supposed to come up with a talk and an activity that totals about 45 minutes. The activity can be a game or anything else we find suitable. One thing I would like to include is a very brief outline of the Church’s teaching on children. There will be a couple talking about sexuality and another talking about NFP, so where would I start with the Church’s teaching on children? Any ideas for an activity? If anyone could even point me to a website or other resource I’d greatly appreciate it! Thanks!
 
HouseArrest said:
My biggest problem is that I do not feel qualified to talk about children as ours are 12 and under. Why should anyone listen to us? We aren’t even done yet!
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I don’t feel qualified either, since my children are only 18 and (almost) 21.😉 I don’t think we’re ever done, and unfortunately kids don’t come with an owner’s manual.

So I’ll point you to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the section on “The duties of parents” (paragraphs #2221–2231). This section stresses that the role of parents toward children should be geared toward their education in the faith and their growth in holiness.

If you don’t have a copy of the Catechism, you can find these sections at vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a4.htm .

You may want to precede this with a little exercise. Ask the couples to jot down (individually or together) what they want to be able to give their children in life. Then when they have done that, have them rank the items by priority (1, 2, 3, etc.). Does faith even show up on the list? Is it near the top or bottom?

Personally, I waited way too long to start sharing my faith with my children. I sent them to CCD and took them to church on Sunday, but they were already pre-teens before I felt comfortable speaking to them about matters of faith. That was much too late. Encourage the couples to share their faith with their children from the very beginning.

If you have not already done so, you may also want to submit this question on the Family Life forum here at Catholic Answers.
 
I love the PP’s activity idea and think it should be FIRST and then launch into the talk. The Catechism reference on parental responsibilities is excellent and also the section on marriage and children.

I think a big thing to focus on what the PP mentioned and if time contrast in your talk is secular vs biblical view of children. Children are a blessing in the bible-- in society they are seen as little economic time bombs. That is so ANTI God. We are raising future Saints and future leaders of church and society. Mother Teresa comes to mind, she said something along the lines of “how can anyone say there are too many children, that’s like saying there are too many flowers.” You can google it.

Perhaps mention some books on parenting in a Catholic manner such as Greg Popcak and Dr. Ray. I think it’s important that they know there are Catholic resources out there.

The family is the Domestic Church. How will they make their home a light of Christ shining for all to see?
 
Excellent recommendations above.

Among my parish duties, I conduct the pre nuptial retreats along with a married couple. My talks are based entirely on the Catechism of the Church. I recommend reading the entire section on Marriage, and think you and the engaged will be very well served by that. The excellent footnotes will lead you to Scripture and documents of the Church. You may consider reprinting some of that material.
 
There is a wonderful magazine worth subscribing to called
Faith and Family that has wonderful ideas. You can even get a free trial copy faithandfamilymag.com/

Don’t feel that you are ill equipped to talk about children…you are a parent and have been for 12 years.
Maybe you can’t speak about the teen years but you can be sure that if you are talking to your children now,laying a good solid Catholic foundation for them, those teen years won’t be as disruptive as you may think. In fact, your kids may even come to appreciate your form of loving discipline…including requiring them to attend mass with you…as they grow older. Our 21 yr. old reminds me how good he had it at home now that he is in college. Good luck.
Also explore a good Catholic book store or website that sells information on children and faith formation, building strong Catholic families etc for lots of great suggestions, including workshops.
God bless you in spreading God’s word to others! one tip: Pray to the Holy Spirit to help put the right words in your mouth before your presentation, and you will be surprised the wealth of knowledge that will come out of you! 👍
 
HouseArrest said:
We Where should we start? My biggest problem is that I do not feel qualified to talk about children as ours are 12 and under. Why should anyone listen to us? We aren’t even done yet! !
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oh by all means do your talk now while you still know something, by the time yours turn 18 you will be completely ignorant and stupid about child-rearing, and realize how little you really do know. there’s nothing like having an 18 yr old (esp. one who enrolls in a college child psych course) to make you dumber than a stick.
 
HouseArrest said:
We volunteered (okay I did it but my husband says he’ll go along…) to give the talk on children at our parish’s Pre Cana. I was given a book with an outline as a guideline, but it’s all over the place. Where should we start? My biggest problem is that I do not feel qualified to talk about children as ours are 12 and under. Why should anyone listen to us? We aren’t even done yet! We’re supposed to come up with a talk and an activity that totals about 45 minutes. The activity can be a game or anything else we find suitable. One thing I would like to include is a very brief outline of the Church’s teaching on children. There will be a couple talking about sexuality and another talking about NFP, so where would I start with the Church’s teaching on children? Any ideas for an activity? If anyone could even point me to a website or other resource I’d greatly appreciate it! Thanks!
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Start with:
*
**Familiaris Consortio - On the Christian Family in the Modern World **by Pope John Paul II

As the basis of your talk.
 
THANK YOU ALL! That is a lot of help! I did copy the Catechism of the Catholic Church section you were talking about and I will distribute that for them to take home. I will probably also write down on it the books by Popcak and Dr. Ray. I do have experience here - I have investigated a few parent books in my time and do see a huge difference between these and “the others” so I will mention that. I really like the secular vs. Church view of children and I will be sure to incorporate that (probably word for word if you don’t mind) into the talk. And I will start with that activity you mentioned. My next move will be to investigate that last reference. I will also end with the “I know nothing according to teenagers…” as a funny - I think they’ll appreciate that.

In other words I’m using it all - and really appreciate the vote of confidence someone here put in us - thanks so much!
 
**Websites: foryourmarriage.org **
Chicagoland Marriage Resource Center: Clearinghouse for Chicago marriage education activities and programs to strengthen marriage and reduce divorce.

Growthtrac.com: Tools and ideas for relationship and marriage strengthening.

Healthy Marriage Initiative: Federal program to help couples develop the skills and knowledge to form and sustain healthy marriages.

Arusi Network: Marriage ministry consultants, retreats, workshops, seminars
Marriage Builders of Lake County: Group of Illinois marriage-strengthening Christian ministers.

NACFLM: National Association of Family Life Ministers.

Two Churches, One Marriage: Interchurch marriages.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter: Weekends to give married couples opportunity to learn communication techniques to enrich their marriage.

Books:
*Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce *by Elizabeth Marquardt, Crown Publishers, 2005.

Ten Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage by David and Claudia Arp, Zondervan, 1997.

*You Don’t Have to Take It Any More *by Steven Stosny, Ph.D. Free Press, 2005.

*How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It *by Patricia Love, Ph.D. and Steven Stosny, Ph.D. Random House, 2007.

*The Intentional Family: How to Build Family Ties in Our Modern World *by William J. Doherty, Ph.D. Addison Wesley Publishing, 1997.

*Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and How You Can Make Yours Last *by John Gottman, Ph.D. Simon and Schuster, 1994.

*A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage *by Scott Stanley, Ph.D., Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milt Bryan. Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1998.

*Marriage Moments: Heart-to-Heart Times to Deepen Your Marriage *by David and Claudia Arp. Servant Publications, 1998.

*The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage *by Michele Weiner Davis. Simon and Schuster, 2001.

*A Young Couple’s Blueprint for Managing Money *by Bonnie Baron Scully, CFP. The Scully Files, 2000.

*Humanae Vitae: On the Regulation of Birth. *Pope Paul VI, 1968. Publication #280-2. United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, DC

*Familiaris Consortio: On the Family. *Pope John Paul II, 1988. Publication #833-9.United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, DC.

Evangelium Vitae: The Gospel of Life. Pope John Paul II, 1995. Publication #316-7.United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, DC.
 
Great! Keep it coming! I am feeling more confident with every post.
 
HouseArrest said:
Great! Keep it coming! I am feeling more confident with every post.
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Make sure however it is based in the Catechism and documents of the Church, and not the opiniond of these authors, which may or may not be correct.
 
Thanks everyone! I used the Catechism section and also the John Paul II document that some of you posted about here. I had them list what they wanted for their kids and then number them like suggested - they seemed to get into that. I then asked them where faith showed up and basically told them why this was the only successful way they could raise their children. I had a list of resources, too. I listed Dr. Ray, Popcak, Thomas Lickona, and listed the Catechism and the Pope John Paul II document - and some others that I have used. I told them to tuck it away in their wedding album and pull it out when they had issues with children.

I really appreciate all your help. The only thing I did not get a chance to do was look up the name of the person who raised (was it 5?) saints… can’t remember who that was. I think I will go look it up now…
 
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