Please Help.

[djforce888]

I am a 22 year old male and am seeking prayers and advice. For the first time in my life, I feel really lost and don’t have any occupational ambitions. I graduated college last May and have been working since then. However, I failed out of pilot training which was my dream ever since I was a boy and have just been working random desk jobs in the military. I am moving for the second time this year and will probably move again to another location this time next year. (though honestly I would like to get deployed overseas). I have tried to find spiritual directors in the past, but I usually dont have the time or I keep moving

With my dream job forever gone I have just been feeling helpless. I have considered the priesthood before, but I just can’t stand the thought of being around a majority guys for 4+ more years. (my college was 90% guys). I have never had a girlfriend before and have an extremely strong desire to get married one day. (honestly, I have never held hands, kissed, or cuddled before. Those thoughts about my lack of experience get to me sometimes) I tried online dating, but most of the girls I do have things in common with live too far and are unwilling to relocate. Finding girls my age in church now a days is nearly impossible and I have tried 10+ churches in just this town alone. (I don’t go to find girls of course, but I still notice that mass attendance is mostly made up of 18 below, married, and old people) I have struggled in the past with issues of lust, but have been going to confession every week to stay close to God. However, I still feel an emptiness or longing in my heart for something more. (I tend to be a big picture kind of guy and ask “why” a lot). I know that St. Augustine once said that “My heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee.” I truly believe that and my ultimate goal is to go to heaven and bring as many people as I can with me.

I just feel so unambitious right know to pursue a particular career field. I do have my own apartment, car etc. and still work for the military, but have made zero career progression. People say I am young, but I have already accomplished most of the “life experiences” I dreamed of doing like backpacking across europe, running with the bulls, climbing mountains, scuba diving, skydiving, etc… Also, I want to do more to help other people and serve them. Maybe I just need to stay patient? All I know is right now I have a longing in my heart that only God can fill and I just want someone to understand that. I humbly ask for prayers and advice. Thanks!

 

[7armyrugrats]

My husband us dealing with the carreer thing himself right now. He joined the military to have college paid for, and has deployed multiple times so he has not had time to work on his degree. He has been to military schools and accomplished quite a bit, but the one school he wanted to complete he ended up failing the last week. Until that week all was going well. He can’t seem to let it go–it’s been a little over a year now. His career has quit progressing, he is constantly looking for a new MOS that he can reclass to, his mind wanders and he has no focus. At home he is great, he is terrific with the kids and the ideal husband. We are happy, but he hates his job.

My husband is 40. You are only 22. Our oldest will soon be 20 and is not knowing what to do in life either. It’s interesting for me seeing my husband and son go through the same feelings and emotions and not be able to see that they are. My husband thinks our son has plenty of time and should just be enjoying life. My son thinks his Papi should be overjoyed because he has a job and a family of his own. My husband thinks our son shouldn’t even be thinking of girlfriends, marriage and babies, that those things need to be put off as long as possible. My son wants to find the right girl (he hasn’t had girlfriends either), get married and start a family. Me, well I think it is all silly. We can’t tell God what He should do for us. He has a plan for our lives and lays everything out as it is supposed to be. My husband is preparing to deploy again soon, not long after our little one is born (yes, our oldest us nearly 20 and I’m pregnant). I don’t want him leaving again, but this is God’s will and I accept it. One day soon all the pieces will line up in your life and you will look back and smile at all this. It doesn’t seem that way now, but it will. We need more people like you in our world. Thank you for all you do.

 

[DexUK]

djforce888 - you are too impatient and becoming obsessed with this question will prevent you from experiencing the world and all the joys God has provided in it for you.

Stop thinking about the question of what you should be and allow yourself to be what you are.

You may not have achieved your ‘dream job’ but you’re nonetheless successful and clearly valued in what you do. There is no ‘magic solution’ to meeting girls… just socialise as your peers do and at some point you’ll meet someone interesting and special. To be honest, with a lot of travel experience under your belt and clearly being the sort of person who can strike out on your own and cope with what’s thrown at you without fear, you’re definitely a ‘catch’.

It sounds to me like you might be placing a little bit too many restrictions on how you meet the woman of your dreams. She won’t be found in a pew. She’ll be found in activities that you share with other people and which draw you together because you share a common thread.

And, insofar as you’ve described yourself in your post, it doesn’t sound particularly like you have a priestly vocation as you dream of marriage a lot. But that doesn’t mean you can’t work to help the Church as a lay person. A person of your skills and experience could well be great with helping at a Church-run youth group. And through that and through socialising with your colleagues, who knows, you might meet that special girl… Don’t go trying to find her in every woman you meet though… let it happen on its own. Desperation puts people off, as I’m sure you’re aware!