Please, Need Help: Convalidation

[seeker_of_God]

I am not sure you are getting what the OP is saying. First, you are coming across as very uncharitable and argumentative.

Secondly, the OP is in a state of mortal sin and want to go to reconciliation ASAP.

There is no rule. In fact, I think the position of this priest is counter to the following canon:

Can.* 843 §1. Sacred ministers cannot deny the sacraments to those who seek them at appropriate times, are properly disposed, and are not prohibited by law from receiving them.

There is a difference between being obedient to lawful judgments and having one’s canon law rights withheld from them. The faithful do have rights under canon law. While the 3 month period of preparation is within the pastor’s purview under Canons 1063-1070. Withholding the sacraments of penance and communion, is not.

Thank you so much. I’ve been trying to explain our concern over and over again, and you summed it upuite well.

People keep saying don’t worry, etc. But I know how much grace the sacraments can give, and I feel like right now I have no recourse to such grace to overcome my sins. I know that confession not only gives absolution, but also gives grace to overcome sins, and so right now it seems we are at a dead end in this.

Your canon reference is interesting as well. Thank you.

We will continue to be persistent. The parable of the unjust judge comes to mind. We do believe it is within our rights to receive the sacraments.

My wife’s aunt had a similar issue, though her circumstances were more complex, with a previous marriage to be annulled and such. But she went to one priest after another, who kept denying her confession, until she finally found one who would allow her to confess.

 

[seeker_of_God]

First, relax. And smile and breathe.

You have done your part, and you have approached Christ’s Church. Remain obedient to Her and to Her ordained ministers. Even if the priest, diocese, and bishop are all wrong on this, God knows that you have attempted to approach His sacraments, and are obeying His Church. He will not hold this against you if something awful were to happen before you could go to Confession.

Second, go to the priest, and explain (in a calm manner) what you have mentioned here. Mention your concern about getting to Confession soon and tell him your worries. And let him know that you will obey no matter his decision.

Now immediately, you still can do a perfect act of contrition right now. So do one. And then do a couple more as you go along waiting for your ability to go to Confession. (little more info here: catholic.com/quickquestions/how-do-i-make-an-act-of-contrition )

And then trust in God, and trust that Christ’s Church will lead you home.

I appreciate your message, though I’m not convinced you’ve understood my whole situation.

We will obey the Church as a whole, yes, but this particular pastor we are under no obligation to obey, IMO. Firstly, we are not members of this parish. Secondly, we will be moving in probably less than a month, so will be in an entirely different diocese at that time anyway. He himself encouraged us not to start even the process of convalidation until we move, so our dealings with him are, for all intents and purposes, at an end.

I have attempted an act of perfect contrition. But it doesn’t mean that we receive the grace to overcome those sins, or at least as easily as confession and absolution would provide.

I am sure God will not hold it against us, but to me it’s not about doing the minimum and just waiting, but if there is any possible way that we can receive, I think we need to do that. Now if we move, have not yet confessed or receive Communion, and the priest in the new diocese tells us the same thing, then we will wait. But for now, I think we almost have an obligation to do as much as we can possibly do.

My wife’s father also knows many priests in her diocese, and he is likewise upset about the situation, so is doing what he can there.

 

[iloveangels]

I appreciate your message, though I’m not convinced you’ve understood my whole situation.

We will obey the Church as a whole, yes, but this particular pastor we are under no obligation to obey, IMO. Firstly, we are not members of this parish. Secondly, we will be moving in probably less than a month, so will be in an entirely different diocese at that time anyway. He himself encouraged us not to start even the process of convalidation until we move, so our dealings with him are, for all intents and purposes, at an end.

I have attempted an act of perfect contrition. But it doesn’t mean that we receive the grace to overcome those sins, or at least as easily as confession and absolution would provide.

I am sure God will not hold it against us, but to me it’s not about doing the minimum and just waiting, but if there is any possible way that we can receive, I think we need to do that. Now if we move, have not yet confessed or receive Communion, and the priest in the new diocese tells us the same thing, then we will wait. But for now, I think we almost have an obligation to do as much as we can possibly do.

My wife’s father also knows many priests in her diocese, and he is likewise upset about the situation, so is doing what he can there.

You’re not members of his parish?

 

[iloveangels]

My wife’s father also knows many priests in her diocese, and he is likewise upset about the situation, so is doing what he can there.

If it’s going to be “less than a month,” I don’t know what the three months thing was about in the original post.

Why don’t you just get this done in your permanent parish/diocese where you’re moving in less than a month?

 

[iloveangels]

I appreciate your message, though I’m not convinced you’ve understood my whole situation.

We will obey the Church as a whole, yes, but this particular pastor we are under no obligation to obey, IMO. Firstly, we are not members of this parish. Secondly, we will be moving in probably less than a month, so will be in an entirely different diocese at that time anyway. He himself encouraged us not to start even the process of convalidation until we move, so our dealings with him are, for all intents and purposes, at an end.

I have attempted an act of perfect contrition. But it doesn’t mean that we receive the grace to overcome those sins, or at least as easily as confession and absolution would provide.

I am sure God will not hold it against us, but to me it’s not about doing the minimum and just waiting, but if there is any possible way that we can receive, I think we need to do that. Now if we move, have not yet confessed or receive Communion, and the priest in the new diocese tells us the same thing, then we will wait. But for now, I think we almost have an obligation to do as much as we can possibly do.

My wife’s father also knows many priests in her diocese, and he is likewise upset about the situation, so is doing what he can there.

If it’s going to be “less than a month,” I don’t know what the three months thing was about in the original post.

Why don’t you just get this done in your permanent parish/diocese where you’re moving in less than a month? That makes more sense.

 

[Michael_Francis]

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