Please offer me some advice

[ironman62292]

Either that idea of directly asking her someplace is too much for our infant relationship, or I’m just chicken. But you are all right about risk taking.

True, a pro-life prayer service may be kind of iffy, but it’s all I have short of directly asking her to dinner or something. If I ever did decide to directly ask her out someplace then I can avoid asking for her contact info. I am friends with her mom and have been over to the house a few times.

Aside from all of this, I want to ask her sompleace without making it seem like it is a date. If I made it seem like a date, then things begin to get more unpredictable. It’s so hard trying to understand the mind of an older girl.

 

[The_Catechumen]

Okay ironman, take this to heart: you’re making this more complicated than it really needs to be. Let me explain why.

Consider the nature of humanity from the days of Adam and Eve on down the line. Our ancestors were just as dumb and awkward as you and I are. Yet they somehow managed to be reproductively successful, generation after generation. How did they do it? With cheesy pickup lines, alcoholic beverages and the promise of a free lunch? That’s stupid. It couldn’t possibly work, right?

Wrong. It works fantastically. If girls didn’t fall for that kind of nonsense, then the human race would have ceased to be not long after Adam and Eve shared that apple. All you have to do is accept the possibility that things may not go perfectly; in reality, few things go according to our best laid plans. If you can do that, then go for it – if not, then I suppose you can still dream about What Could Have Been. I don’t recommend the second thing. It’s a terrible way to go about life.

 

[ironman62292]

You’re right Catechumen. In this situation I need to toughen up and really become Ironman. I’ll work on plans for asking her to the prayer meeting and incorporating breakfast into it. Thanks.

Although I could still use suggestions and advice from anyone.

 

[ironman62292]

Thanks to all of those who have helped me out with this situation. I will take your advice to heart. Now, I’ve confirmed that my pro-life group will be at the abortion clinic. My theology teacher is very good about working with situations I am in now, so I’ll ask her for some final advice.

You have all told me to go for it and ask her out. If my teacher agrees, then so be it. Although, as I said, I want to make it seem like an activity between friends, and not a date.

Can anyone suggest how I can do that?

 

[jilly4ski]

I would suggest you arrange a “date” with your or her family. Maybe have dinner at your house or her house (with family home as well) and rent a nice movie. Then you have the opportunity to see how she reacts around others and how family members relate to her, all in a more safe, sane, realistic environment.

I second this: My now husband came over to my house to show me pictures from our serivce project week and then ended up having dinner at my house. This is how we dated for a long time. We eventually ended up going out to movies and dinners and stuff, but mostly hung out with each others families. So have dinner at your house or hers with the family, since you are both quite young it will help easy any fears on the parental side and make it easier for the parents to accept you if the relationship is serious. After dinner you could always go out and get ice cream for some time to talk seriously and get to know her individually (cheaper too).
My parents love my husband becuase they new before we got super serious that he was a “nice Holy, Catholic, young man.”

As far as rejection, that I can’t help you, the first thing my husband did was ask me to a baseball game which I promply turned down saying i probably couldn’t go. I had no idea he liked me at the time. He thought I had a legit reason for turning him down and that I felt the same as he did. which i probably did, but my mother had to tell me that he liked me.

Good luck,
Pax

 

[ironman62292]

Thanks Jilly, that is something that could actually be possible in the near future.

Today I called her and invited her to the pro-life prayer service at the abortion clinic. She, said she had to work, and do a few other things. But She thought hard about it she could possibly fit it in. So, that shows me that she was actually interested. Besides, she said she would come next time.

Gotta keep going, this is going to take time, but patience is a virtue.

So, what other ideas are there?