Please, Please, Help?

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J.W.B

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Please look down at the thread I posted about an hour ago, it says “A Serious Question On Marriage?” I do not feel like writing it again, but down at the fourth and fifth post I told a story about a friend of mine who is dreadfully suffering. In case people only read the first three posts (because my original question was answered) I asked another question on my friends story, I’m looking for advice and prayer. If you’ve read the story, what would you suggest? Please help.
 
I am not qualified to help you, as it sounds as if your friend has some psychological issues. I would recommend he see someone qualified to help with this. Relating to the question of whether he is going to hell, that is a question which no one except God can definitely answer in the affirmative, however, your description of his mental state suggests to me that he may be incapable of making moral judgements, thus incapable of freely choosing mortal sin, and he is concerned about marriages that do not in fact exist, so there is not in fact any grave matter for the mortal sins he is concerned about.
 
J.W.B.:
Please look down at the thread I posted about an hour ago, it says “A Serious Question On Marriage?” I do not feel like writing it again, but down at the fourth and fifth post I told a story about a friend of mine who is dreadfully suffering. In case people only read the first three posts (because my original question was answered) I asked another question on my friends story, I’m looking for advice and prayer. If you’ve read the story, what would you suggest? Please help.
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I’m not qualified either, but it sounds very much like your friend needs to see a psychiatrist or an exorcist. (No, I am not saying that flippantly. And he might want to see the exorcist first. Most, if not all, diocesan offices have one.) On the spiritual side of things, I would bring up a couple of points:

(1) God is not looking for reasons to keep people out of Heaven. Someone once told me about the “unforgivable sin” that Jesus spoke of, that if you were worried about having committed it you had definitely not committed it.

(2) If your friend is worried about “what if I did this terrible thing,” one answer could be to wait until someone else comes up and tells him that he has actually done it. Until then, there apparently isn’t any reason to believe that he has done anything wrong, and so he wouldn’t need to worry about having done anything wrong. (Of course, this assumes that your friend will listen to logic.) Jesus told His disciples to let tomorrow’s troubles wait for tomorrow.

I wish both of you well and will say a Rosary for you this afternoon.
  • Liberian
 
i think i have to agree with what others have said, and respectfully suggest that your friend needs psychiatric help. (exorcism might help too.)

we’re praying for you and your friend.
 
I have suggested to tell him something like this:

“Dear God, I love you with all of my heart, and I want to be one with you. If I am not married to my wife in your eyes, please serperate us from one another and let that be your answer ‘No.’ If I am married to my wife in your eyes, please keep us together until death does us apart and let that be your answer ‘Yes.’ Praise you Oh Lord, Amen!”

Do any of you think I should suggest this prayer to him?
 
J.W.B.:
I have suggested to tell him something like this:

“Dear God, I love you with all of my heart, and I want to be one with you. If I am not married to my wife in your eyes, please serperate us from one another and let that be your answer ‘No.’ If I am married to my wife in your eyes, please keep us together until death does us apart and let that be your answer ‘Yes.’ Praise you Oh Lord, Amen!”

Do any of you think I should suggest this prayer to him?
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The short answer is I have no idea whether you should or not. Two questions to ask yourself:
(1) Can it help?
(2) Can it hurt?
From what little I have read from your postings, I think the answers are (1) yes and (2) probably not. If this is the case, then I would suggest it.

Checking for external confirmation of something is almost always a good idea. Asking God to use some external circumstance to separate them–and make sure he understands that it’s an external circumstance that he is asking for–is good. I’m afraid I don’t remember the details of what you first wrote (on the separate thread), but if he is officially married to his about whom he is asking this, then he should be trying to stay with her and requiring an external circumstance to separate them. It should not take something external to keep them together. So there is a bit of a difference between the “please separate us” and the “please keep us together.”
  • Liberian
 
Liberian, I understand what your saying, except what do you mean by “it should not take something external to keep them together?”

The problem with him is that they say he has ocd, obsessive- compulsion- disorder. He’s parinoid about everything he likes, he feels it’s being taken away from him. First it was his freedom, then the exsistense of God, now it’s his wife. He is so afraid that he married one of his girl friends or his fiance’s (if they were even really fiance’s) from the past. I have told him that the Church would not have married him if he was already married in the past but he countered with a remark of “what if I decieved everyone.” I do not know what to do. Medicine has not worked and niether talking to people has ever worked. Some days he’s ok, other completly misreable and fears that when he has kids he won’t be able to just enjoy them, worrying that he might have to leave his wife (which he says he would if he knew 100% sure that’s what God wanted).

This morning he told me that no matter how crystal clear his memories, imaginations or even visons from satan or his mind are, unless God Himself tells him face to face that in His eyes she is not his wife and so He wants him to leave her, he will obey. But unless that happens, he is going to stay with her until death does them apart." He also says that he will “never, ever cease from taking communion” nor will he “ever confess and ask forgiveness for the sin of marrying a woman while already being married to another.” Unless of course God speaks to him face to face. So he pretty much says that “whatever is my fate, is my fate.”

I feel so sad for him. He really does seem to care for his wife. He has constantly told me that “She is the only woman I want to make love to, she is the only woman I want to have children with, and I will never leave her.”

Please continue to pray, I beg you brother.

I would rather have a heart of compassion than the mind of a genuiess
God give you peace:)
 
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